This Stuff is Very Twisted - WARNING: This stuff is sick, nasty, and perverted...Yes, true, but this is more - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/larry8/Twisted

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't
let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she
needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the
second condition?"

"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn
into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and
goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella
shows up, looking love-struck and **very** satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the fairygodmother. "Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter,something or other...."
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Did you hear that Captain Hook died from jock itch?
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Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so
she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on
his face crying,"Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when
suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and,
holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your
brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic
basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said,
"No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the
book!"
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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and
the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she is fuckin' Goofy."
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Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes
complain about splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio,
therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto
suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio
skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio
bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?

Larry8@aol.com

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Page Updated Wed Apr 28, 1999 7:35pm EDT