You are addicted to the Internet When... - Comedy & Humor

1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as
downloading.

2.) You step out of your room and realize that your
parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when
it happened.

3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to
bottom.

4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty
feeling,like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

6.) You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot
com"

7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each
time you see a new WWW site address on TV.

8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room
so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to
remind you of what she looks like.

10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names.

11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else's
links, you notice all of them are already highlighted
in purple.

12.) Your dog has its own home page.

13.) You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a
modem.

14.) You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So
you check it again.

15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.

16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your
instructor the URL.

17.) You don't know the sex of three of your closest
friends,because they have neutral nicknames and you
never bothered to ask.

18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard
for 2 months.

19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and
stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

20.) You tell the kids they can't use the computer
because "Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you
don't have a job.

21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in
keyboard and mouse.

22.) Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot
come to bed."

23.) You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed
with Netscape 3.0 or higher."

24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when
calling your ISP... because you never log off.

25.) The last girl you picked up was only a GIF.

26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to
replace the chair in front of your computer with a
toilet.

27.) Your wife says communication is important in a
marriage...so you buy another computer and install a
second phone line so the two of you can chat.

28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a
mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the
"back" button.

Larry8@aol.com

Page Updated Wed Apr 28, 1999 7:35pm EDT