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Stupid Pick Up Lines
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Things To Say To A Naked Guy
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Quiz 2
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Titanic In 5 Minutes
What They REALLY Mean
50 Things To Do In A Elevator
How To Order A Pizza
A Dictionary For Women
Rejection
Naked Pics
My Credo
How To Survive A Horror Movie
Blow Job Ediquette
About Me
Daddys Ten Rules Of Dating
Hints For Life
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| Some Stupid Thoughts |
| Where Do People Come Up With These Things??? |
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| I wonder... *Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? *When you get a prank call, why do you figure if you change your tone of “hello” the person will answer? “Hello? Hellllloooo? Helllloooo.....? Helo?” *Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts? *Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together? * Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is? *Why does sour cream have an expiration date? *Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk? *The light went out, but where to? *Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have? *Why is it you have a “pair” of pants and only one bra? *Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? *Why is the alphabet in that order? *In the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? *If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? *What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? *If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it? *If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does is make a sound? *What is the sound of one hand clapping? *Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? *When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit! *Do fish get cramps after eating? *Should abbreviation be such a long word? *Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic? *If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it gonna be? *Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? *If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? *When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? *Why is it, when a door is open, it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not adoor? *Tell a man there are 400 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you, tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. *How come superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? *Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery? *If ‘con’ is the opposite of ‘pro,’ then what is the opposite of progress? *Why is lemon juice mostly made of artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? *How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it? *Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? *Why do we wait until a pig is dead until we ‘cure’ it? *Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? *Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase? *Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? *Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? *Whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘lisp’ to have an ‘s’ in it? *What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? *Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? *If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? *Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent? *Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? *Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer? *I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. *If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? *Isn’t Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?’ *Sooner or later doesn’t everyone stop smoking? *Light travels faster than sound. Is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? *Isn’t the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? *War doesn’t determine who’s right, just who’s left. *Why do 24 hour stores have locks? *Why do we drive on parkways, but park on driveways? |
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