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My Friends
Stupid Pick Up Lines
Guys Names
Condom Slogans
A Reply For FWDs
More On Friends
Your First Time
Life
Things To Say To A Naked Guy
Quiz
Quiz 2
Stupid Thoughts
Titanic In 5 Minutes
What They REALLY Mean
50 Things To Do In A Elevator
How To Order A Pizza
A Dictionary For Women
Rejection
Naked Pics
My Credo
How To Survive A Horror Movie
Blow Job Ediquette
About Me
Daddys Ten Rules Of Dating
Hints For Life
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| Stupid Pick Up Lines |
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| Sorry If Some Are Repeated!!! |
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| Here Are A Combination Of Pick Up Lines From Some People, Including Myself, Some Of Them Are REALLY Dumb, Who Uses These Things? I had a dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality? Would you come back to my place and pet my dog? Which is easier? Getting into those pants, or getting out of them? Love is like a rug...walk all over me...lie on me...but no animals allowed. You're so sweet your going to put sugar out of business. I had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile, so could you please smile for me? Your daddy must be a thief, because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room? Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you sure have a nice set of buns! [Checking her shirt tag] Just making sure you were the right size! (Grab her ass...) Pardon me, is this seat taken? Is it hot in here? Or is it just you? Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart! I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me? So.... How am I doin'? How bout you and me go back to my place and get you out of those wet clothes? (Tapping your leg) You just think this is my leg. You know what would look good on you? Me! Excuse me, but I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together? Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Kate!" She says, "I'm not Kate!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!" She: Gee, I really enjoyed myself tonight! : He: Me too. Maybe we could let our bodies enjoy each other sometime! I would love to be the sod under your feet. I've had a pretty bad day, and it usually makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me? Overheard in a computer lab: Just because our computers are incompatible doesn't mean we are! Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy? Hey, didn't we go to different schools together? You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once! Would you like Gin and platonic, or would you prefer Scotch and sofa? What's your favorite position on extramarital sex? I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black,did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic. Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress. Excuse me, do you live around here often? I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade! I've got an itch honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out. I'm on fire baby, can I run through your sprinkler? Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy? I have only three months to live... Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat? Hi! I'm Big Brother, and I've been watching you! Where have you been all my life? In the produce department: "How can you tell if these things are ripe?" Hey, weren't you Miss Virginia last year? Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking? Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside? If I follow you home, will you keep me? Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs.... then ask would she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Thanksgiving and that one is Christmas...would you mind if I visited between the holidays? Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it? Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often? As she's leaving.... Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? You: Me! Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root! Hey baby, you wanna fullback or should I apologize? If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me. Want to see my stamp collection? Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it isn't floppy. Hi, do you want to have my children? (Assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice? Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off? Do you know how to use a whip? Do you wash your panties with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in them. Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world! How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning! Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel! You: Hi, wanna f*ck? : Her: No! : Me: Mind lying down while I have one? Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... You shouldn't go home without me! Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good. Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be? You: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? : Her: No.: You: Well then, please start. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night? Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five. Wanna go halves in a baby? You know that I would like to hear you like to sing. Her: Yeah... You: (Whip out your pud) Well, then step up to the mike! Pardon me, what pickup line works best with you? Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist. Can I see your tan lines? I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there. Beauty is only a light switch away... If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes. Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a Man friend, come and talk to me. I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds. Was sitting here holding this cigarette and I realized I'd rather be holding you. If your parents hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man right now! Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Do'ya wanna do lunch? Hey baby, sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better! You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. Motion your finger for girl to come over to you, when she gets there say, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with TWO! Hey baby, are you a good lover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me? I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Stand still so I can pick you up! Hi, we're taking a survey and I need your phone number. If you give it to me, I'll call you and tell you the results. I didn't know that angels could fly so low! Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!! Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo in my car! Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now? Man: (beckons woman with finger): Woman: (Approaches man): Man: Do you always cum when someone fingers you? Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit! Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. Pardon me, but are those stretch marks around your mouth? Do you want to hear a joke that'll make you laugh your tits off? Oh, you've already heard it. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat? Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner? I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet. Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!? Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow? Should I nudge you or call you? Check female's shirt tag).... Just as I thought, made in heaven! Were your parents Greek gods? Because it takes two gods to make a goddess. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours? Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous! Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time? Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to? My face is leaving in 10 minutes... are you gonna be on it or not? Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen? Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some? If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me? I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place? Miss, if you've lost your virginity, could I have the box it came in? Hi, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you! Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do? If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No, huh...So you want to go somewhere and talk? That's a nice shirt...could I talk you out of it? (Female at the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help? That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I. Hey baby, you want to see something swell? Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced nipples.... Are you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers! I love every bone in your body...especially mine. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings. Pardon me, are you in heat?! Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here. You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get! Can I borrow a quarter? Cause my mom told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams. Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again? You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square? Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons! Your face or mine? Hey, here's the word for the day: legs. Whatdya say we go upstairs and spread the word?! Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag! Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? Make a calling card that says...Smile if you want to sleep with me! Then watch your victim try to hold back her smile. Hi, my name's Chris, how do you like me so far? Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between the two of us. Hey baby! Wanna go get some pizza and screw? What you don't like pizza? She: (to passing man) Do you have the time? : Him: Do you have the energy? Bond. James Bond. You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has already beaten me to it. You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book. So, what's one more? Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, blouse, etc.): Him: I like nothing better. Walk up to a lady at a social gathering (party, club, etc.) and simply ask, "are you ready to go home now? You know, I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else. At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask, "Wanna roll?" You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across. That's a really nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you are wearing. Think you can dance in those shoes? OK, you can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat Ask girl if she likes jewelry. Then grab your nuts and say, "Then suck this, it's a gem!" You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign. Why don't you surprise your room-mate/parents and not go home tonight? Good-looking waitress pouring a drink: Say when! : Guy: As soon as I finish this drink. Lie down. I think I love you. What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that? I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little. If I weren't so romantic, I'd shoot you. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love. My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place. Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together? I know a great way to burn off the calories from that pastry you just ate. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body? Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets in side out....) Would you like to? You know I really am James Bond's body double. Stand back, I'm a doctor! You go get an ambulance and I'll loosen her clothes. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. I think I could fall madly in bed with you. Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I guess your age and weight. You: Tickle your ass with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said 'Particular nice weather?' Hey baby, wanna play train conductor? OK. You sit on my face and I'll chew, chew, chew! (choo!) Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out! Oh, you're a bird watcher.... (Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow? Stand back, I'm a police officer! You go call for backup and I'll frisk her! Do you have a library card? Good, cause I wanna check you out! Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart. (At church during a sermon, Put your arm around your gal...) Honey, I don't know where he is.... (Motioning to the preacher) but I do know I'm here with you. Baby, you look better and better each day...and tonight, you look like tomorrow! Here's a quarter.... Call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight! Hey baby, you smell, let's take a shower together! Baby you with those curves and me with no brakes! Mmmmm! Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!? I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Can I borrow a quarter? [Why?] Cuz I wanna call your mom and thank her! You're so hot, you melt the plastic in my underwear! Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take/eat what I want? Let's go back to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway! My name is Chris. Just remember that, so you'll know what to scream later. Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck? Can I flirt with you? If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Sorry Some Of These Are Dirty, But I Thought They Were Funny. An Old Friend Sent Me Most Of Them, It Was Really Sweet Of Him, Special Thanx To Mix Masta Mike. Thats Why They're Mostly Directed At Females, I Think. |
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