 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Page 2
Getting Older
A Womans View
Beans
Bible Bloopers
Church Humor
More Church Humor
Even More Church Humor
Funny News Stories
Computer Glitches
Computer Dummy
Cop Killers
News Stories
Heaven and Hell
Say That Again
Famous Quotes
FBI
Stupid Criminals
Strange Laws
Little Known Tidbits
Legal Quotes
The Water Closet
Men and Women
Bumper Stickers
Chilli
|
|
| More Church Humor |
 |
| A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth. |
| ||||||
| WATCH WHAT YOU SAY My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner? Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the annex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away." The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since" !!! A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian." A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishoners who he knew as being an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them. He felt a bit apprehensive but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and barked, "Here Soap! Here Water!" HELP FOR THE SICK A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'." |
|
. |
| Visitors: 05668 |