 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Page 2
Getting Older
A Womans View
Beans
Bible Bloopers
Church Humor
More Church Humor
Even More Church Humor
Funny News Stories
Computer Glitches
Computer Dummy
Cop Killers
News Stories
Heaven and Hell
Say That Again
Famous Quotes
FBI
Stupid Criminals
Strange Laws
Little Known Tidbits
Legal Quotes
The Water Closet
Men and Women
Bumper Stickers
Chilli
|
|
| Heaven and Hell |
 |
| ||||||
| A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?" The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks. The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?" St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged." The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why is that? St. Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his clock." This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies, "That's OJ Simpson's clock. We decided to use it as a fan." ------------------------------------------------------------ The Devil You Know... This fellow died and went to hell. The devil met him and told him that he had the choice of spending eternity in one of three rooms. The fellow said, "Well, let's take a look at the first room." In it were thousands of people standing on their heads on a hard concrete floor. The fellow thought, "Uh oh! This isn't any good; standing on my head on concrete for the rest of time." He told the devil to show him the second room. In it was the same situation, thousands of the damned standing on their heads. This floor, however, was made of pine wood. The fellow thought, "Well this is a slight improvement." He asked to see the third and final room. In it were thousands of people, standing on their feet, knee deep in dog poop, talking with each other and drinking coffee. The fellow thought, "Well standing in dog poop isn't nice, but it sure beats standing on ones head on a hard floor." He told the devil that he'd take the third room. The devil said, "OK, you will spend eternity in here." Then he shouted to the thousands, "OK , coffee break is over. Everyone, back on your heads!" |
|
. |
| Visitors: 06025 |