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Here are some jokes about chocolate, fruit and lots, lots more! Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, it may be a sign of a deeper problem. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate is a balanced diet. Two phrases: Money talks. Chocolate sings. The preservatives in chocolate make you look younger. Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. One day two carrots were walking down the street. They were the best of friends. Just as they started to step off the curb a car came speeding around the corner and ran one of them over. The unhurt carrot cradled his buddy, telling him over and over again that he would be OK. Finally the ambulance arrived and rushed the injured carrot off to the hospital. His friend rode with him. Once at the hospital the uninjured carrot paced back and forth in the emergency room waiting to hear how his pal was going to be. After many minutes of agonized waiting the doctor came out. He walked over to the distraught carrot and said "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to be alright. The bad news is that he is going to be a vegetable all his life". One day, the vegetables moved in with the fruit to stay. All of a sudden, a tomato shouts "I need tomato sauce for bathing.Who will get it?" So a brocolli shouts "vegemite!" |
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