Dumb Blonde Jokes - (sorry if these are offensive to anyone) - Personal - http://maxpages.com/killergurlz/Blonde

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
"235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.

Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant

A blonde walks into the library and says to the librarian, ''Can I have a burger and fries?''

''Sorry, this is a library.''

So the blonde whispers, ''Oh, may I have a burger and fries?''

A blonde is driving through a desert in the middle of no where. Suddenly she sees another blonde. This other blonde is sitting in a canoe rowing away. The canoe is in the sand. The blonde says to herself, "It's blondes like that, that give the rest of us a bad name!! I'm gonna go tell her!"

So the blonde got out of her car and stood at the edge of the road. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name!!! If I could swim I would come out there and kick your butt!"

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Page Updated Sun May 27, 2001 5:34pm EDT