Product Tags - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/kab/Product

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not
turn
upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after
heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(but that would save sooo much time if u did!)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or
operate
machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
we
could just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or
outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
(Really???)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet,
eat nuts.
(I'm glad they cleared that up...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

kab_gurls@yahoo.com

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Page Updated Sun Aug 15, 1999 12:54pm EDT