Top 10 Reasons You Know That You're In A Cheap HMO - Miscellaneous

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you
enter the trailer park."

8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of fudgesicle.

7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an
apple a day".

5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to
Goodwill last month.

4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a
typo.

3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

2. With your last HMO, your Viagra pills didn't come in different
colors
with little "M"'s on them.

1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.

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Page Updated Tue Jul 20, 1999 10:09pm EDT