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You May Be A Life-Long SDA If: *You pronounce "Adventist" as "AD-ventist", not "ad-VEN-tist". *Your "little friend" wasn't a person. *Your bedtime stories were about real people instead of fairy tales. *You had an Uncle Arthur, Uncle Dan, and Aunt Sue and were amazed to find out that all your friends in Sabbath School did too. *You knew the name of every animal to ever escape from the San Diego Zoo. *You know what happened to Pip Pip. *You know never to take the biggest piece of pie, because mom may have baked soap in it to teach you a lesson. *You think of kids instead of cars when you hear the term Pathfinder. *You can remember what the letters "MV" and "JMV" stand for. *You have a board somewhere in your attic with a bunch of knots glued to it. *You ever wondered if the earth would last long enough to have a girlfriend. *Parenthood held many nasty surprises because you really believed Uncle Arthur when he said, "and he never disobeyed again." *You know HMS as a name, not a ship. *You know how to play poker with Bible Authors cards and Wheat Thins. *You have ever looked for angels outside of a movie theater. *On Sabbath you catch yourself telling your children, "You can wade, but don't swim". *You have children who accidentally fall in more on Sabbath than all other days put together. *You know how to play Rook but not bridge or hearts. *The word "Philistine" has a meaning in current terminology. *You were never allowed to go to a bowling alley until it became a church sponsored activity. *You think in Heaven everyone will have a big Timex mounted on the front of their crowns (functional of course). *Your Armani tie falls in your soup because you won't wear a tie tack. *You know the Review is not a full military dress inspection. *You saw "1 in 20,000" over a hundred times, but think "ER" is too intense. *You agreed to sing so you wouldn't have to solicit. *Saturday Night Live had meaning before the TV program. *You read labels on cans years before nutritional labeling was available. *You saved labels off of cans years before recycling became fashionable. *You have ever asked for a Veggie-Whopper at Burger King. *You take more time at the Taco Bell counter than the last six customers. *You take a helping of Nuteena because you like it, not out of courtesy. *You can tell the difference between Linkettes and Vegelinks with your eyes closed. *You know 101 ways to prepare FriChik. *You think fake snake meat taste like FriChik. *You have more than twelve uses for soy beans. *You can stack 3000 calories on a plate at a church potluck. *You know what Ruskets are. *Your guilt trip ended the day Nabisco started using vegetable shortening in Oreos. |
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