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| WHY MEN SUCK!!!!! |
| This page is dedicated to Anthony (you know who u are) He has to believe women are the superior gender he cant keep fooling himself!! He has to know the truth!!!!!!! |
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THE RULES 1. Women ALWAYS make the rules. 2. The rules are subject to change without notice. 3. No male can possibly know all the rules. 4. If a woman suspects that a man knows all the rules she must immediately change some of the rules. 5. A woman is never wrong. 6. If it appears that a woman MAY be wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something a man did or said wrong. 7. If rule #6 applies, a man must apologise to a woman immediately for causing any misunderstanding. 8. A woman can change her mind at any time. 9. A man must never change his mind without express discussion with a woman. 10. A woman has every right to be upset and angry at any time. 11. A man must remain calm at all times. unless a woman wants him to be angry or upset. 12. A woman, must under no circumstances let a man know whether she wants him to be angry or upset. 13. A man is expected to read the mind of a woman at all times. 14. At all times, what is important is what the female meant, not what she said. 15. If a man doesn't abide by the rules, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks back bone, and/or is a wimp. 16. If a woman has PMS, the rules are null and void and a male must cater for her every whim. 17. Any attempt by a man to document the rules may result in bodily harm, or at the very least, tears. 18. If a man, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to #5. A Woman's Dictionary Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire". Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner". Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a pound of M&M chocolate covered peanuts. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See also "Magician". Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space...if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions;he gets to hold your hand and say "Focus...breath...push...Good Girl!" Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck". After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers". Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower,or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. Zillion (zil*yen) n. The number of times you ask someone to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway. THINGS WRONG WITH MEN: Men think there is nothing wrong with them Men are genetically unable to remember birthdates apart from their own Men must have control of the TV remote and channel surf Men turn the TV off when they go to bed even if others are still watching Men always want to talk to you right when you're on the phone Men think its never the right time to talk about the relationship No matter how many clothes are in their wardrobe they always wear the same thing Men never remember rubbish day Men buy full cream milk Men can step over something for weks and never pick it up and put it away Men dont understand that Andrew Merhtens lost us the world cup Men are genetically unable to make a sandwhich or find anything to eat. Men "look" too much Men cant supermarket-shop They'll spend $100 and come back with camembert and olives Men are incapable of getting children ready to go out, then complain when women take too long "Im just having one quick beer" is a meaningless remark Men dont know when you want them to lie Men dont think...... Men will put a bet on anything They take your selection off the CD player and put on their own Men refuse to argue and cant if they try Men are genetically unable to separate the whites from colours They wont give you a valentines present because its too commercial. They say they'll give you a surprise present on another day but never do You plan a romantic night out and he invites his friends Men think no means yes, and dont know when it really does Men are never as interested in sex as they say they are Men need to visit their mothers all the time MEn dont appreciate how damaging 5'oclock shadows can be Men dont mind dirty sheets Men dont ask for directions Men fart and snore too much. And are proud of the former Men cant buy nice furniture unless they are gay Men are too chicken to write lists like this without back-up from their mates |
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