Disney Characters - Where they are now - Personal - http://maxpages.com/justsum1/Disney_Characters

We have all grown up knowing and loving the characters produced
by Walt Disney and his successors at the Disney company. From Mickey
Mouse to Aladdin, Disney has always given us something to laugh at,
somone to cry for, something to hope for, and a star to wish upon. Now,
however, it has been revealed by the Disney corporation that the stars
of these memorable cartoons may not have been the paragons of hope and
happiness we always thought they were. Here, for the first time ever,
are the TRUE fates of your favorite Disney characters, taken from the
secret files of Michael Eisner himself...

Mickey Mouse
Died of venereal disease after visiting multiple prostitutes.

Donald Duck
Accidentally served as a main course at Epcot's China Pavillion.

Goofy
Assassinated during first term as President of the United States.

Pluto
Caught by dogcatchers, put to sleep after he was never claimed.

Scrooge McDuck
Died in extreme poverty after being audited by the IRS.

Huey, Dewey, & Louie
Involved in an underground child pornography ring.

Chip & Dale
Extracted from Richard Gere's colon.

Snow White
Fell for the old "apple trick" again.

Dopey
'Nuff said.

Sneezy
Died of pneumonia with Jim Henson.

Grumpy
Executed after gunning down 15 people in a local McDonalds.

Happy
Killed by insane gunman at a local McDonalds.

Doc
Was sued for malpractice, lived the rest of his life living under
bridges and eating out of cat food cans.

Sleepy
Never woke up.

Bashful
Now a stripper with the Chippendales.

Mary Poppins
Shot down over Iraqi airspace.

Christopher Robin
Male prostitute, died of a heroin overdose.

Winnie The Pooh
Had a heart attack caused by a cholesterol level of 570.

Piglet
Gunned down in a mafia hit.

Eeyore
Committed suicide.

Tigger
Accidentally bounced off the edge of a cliff.

Rabbit
Died of an aneurysm while watching over his garden.

Roo
Smothered to death by Kanga.

Kanga
Put to death by the state.

Alice (Of Wonderland)
Institutionalized for life.

The Mad Hatter
Died of mercury poisoning.

Dormouse
Drowned in a teapot.

The Queen Of Hearts
Guillotine.

Tweedledee & Tweedledum
Died of excessive weight loss at a fat farm.

Sleeping Beauty
Slept until 1986, contracted AIDS from "Prince Charming."

Cinderalla
Killed by stepsisters and stepmother in a jealous rage.

Pinnocchio
Is now a very comfortable Ottoman.

Jiminy Cricket
Died after impacting a windshield at high speeds.

Figaro
Strung tightly on a Les Paul guitar.

Dumbo
Sucked into the engine of a 747.

Peter Pan
Christopher Robin's lover, committed suicide in despair.

Tinkerbell
Caught by some kid who forgot to punch holes in the lid.

Bambi
Shot by NRA member with an AK-47. His body was never found.

Baloo
Is now decorating the floor in front of a fireplace.

Mowgli
(see Huey, Dewey & Louie)

Lady & The Tramp
Sold to a Cantonese restaurant.

101 Dalmations
Sold to the Ringling Bros. Circus, were eaten by lions.

The Rescuers
Involved in cancer research.

Jessica Rabbit
Backup singer for Guns 'N Roses.

Aladdin
Was caught stealing one too many times, is now being traded nightly
at Leavenworth for a pack of menthols.

Abu
Shot into space by NASA.

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Page Updated Wed Sep 15, 1999 3:37am EDT