DICTIONARIES!!! - Personal - http://maxpages.com/justsum1/Dictionaries

THE MANS DICTIONARY!!!!!!!

IMAGINATION - Something that sits up with the wife when her husband is out late.

INCOMPATIBILITY - Two people who can't stomach each other.

JITTERBUG - A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet.

LOVE PIRATE - A mug who gets his face slapped when he startslooking for buried treasure.

MATERNITY DRESS - A slip cover

METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or common ore.

MINUTE MAN - A fellow who double parks in front of a house of ill-repute. MISTRESS - Something between a mister and a mattress.

MIXED EMOTIONS - Watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your brand new Mercedes/Cadillac/BMW..

OPTIMIST - A man who thinks his wife quit smoking cigarettes when he finds cigar butts around the house.

PYJAMAS - Items of clothing that newly-weds place beside the bed in case of fire.

PAPOOSE - Result of taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

PERFECT WIFE - One who is deaf and dumb, over-sexed, andowner of a liquor store.

PIMP - A nookie-bookie.

PROSTITUTE - A busy body.

PSYCIATRIST - One who tries to find out whether an infant has more fun in infancy than an adult in adultery.

QUICKIE - No sooner spread than done.

STOCKBROKER - A man who can take a bankroll and run it into a shoestring.

SUPPORTER - A ball-bearing babushka.

TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals

VIRGIN - A girl who makes an issue out of a tissue

BIMBO TALK DICTIONARY

Bimbaffled - reaction of bimbo to any change in her environment

Bimbang - the act of banging a bimbo

Bimbank - bank with low interest rates but with beautiful blonde staff

Bimbar - bar full of bimbos

Bimbattle - two bimbos fighting over a hunk in a bimbar

Bimbeaver - body part a bimbo thinks with instead of using her bimbrain

Bimbette - immature bimbo (bimbos are mature at age six)

Bimbikini - very tiny and sexy bikini

Bimbino - young, innocent and lovable bimbo

Bimbintelligence - semantically inconsistent term

Bimbiology - study of the biology of bimbos

Bimblabla - what comes out of a bimbos mouth

Bimblooper - general result of a bimbos actions

Bimblowjob - the best a bimbo has to offer

Bimbooze - favourite drink of bimbo (margarita)

Bimborg - malfunctioning but sexy cyborg robot

Bimboss - a bimbo who is the boss (happens only in her dreams)

Bimbozo - a male bimbo; identifying mark: uses rear-view mirror to admire himself/comb hair)

Bimbra - apparatus to support a bimbos most valuable assets

Bimbrain - least-used word in the English language

Bimbrand - the type of bimbo (Irish girls make excelllent bimbos)

Bimbulb - light bulb producing 1% light and 99% heat

Bimburger - cheapest snack at McDonalds

DICTIONARY OF DATING!!

ATTRACTION - The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING - The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL - Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY - A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT - A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND - A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE - A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING - A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT - What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY - How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC - A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER - Condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

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Page Updated Wed Sep 15, 1999 3:37am EDT