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Encyclopaedia Jonika
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| ENCYCLOPAEDIA JONIKA |
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| Words and Phrases in the Jonik Universe |

ADD
Derivitive from the word ass. To be used with the words FAD, SWEADY and DURDY.
Common phrases-
"Kiss my big fad, sweady add"
BAT
From the phrase Bat Fastard.
Common phrases
Look at that bat!,
Lisa Rilley is a bat!
BADDAD
Derivative from the word bastard. To be used with the words FAD and SWEADY.
Common phrases-
"You big fad, sweady baddad"
CINEMA SCUM
Used as a name for Cinema Club, the makers of rubbish videos which have already been released already by someone better, apart from the ones which are First Time on Video Cinema Club vids, which are rubbish two-bit films anyway.
CITRUS FUZZCRED
Merry Christmas. Thats all we know about this phrase.
COURT
Courteney Cox.
CRIP
Derivative from the word cripple. Used mainly to describe Christopher Reeve (Crip-stopher Reeve Paralysed FIVE YEARS!).
DIRD or DIRDY
Derivitive from the word dirty. Can be used to describe almost anything.
Common Phrases-
"Look at that dird"
"(someone's name or product) is a fucking dird!!!"
DURD
Not to be confused with DIRD or ANKLEMINGE.
Derivitive from turd. Meaning litterally the act of having a big fat shit.
Common Phrase -
"I need to go and have a durd".
* See also WEND.
FAD
Derivative from the word fat.
Common phrases
(Put someones name or product here), my fad ass!,
You know what (put absolutely anything here) can do, dont you? Kiss my big fad ass!
HO
Derivative from HOBO to mean TRAMP.
KAF
Kathleen Turner.
MANK
Used to describe an actual item which is dirty, battered, or rubbish.
Common phrase
Look at that pile of mank!
MANK-ASS
Same as SCAB-ASS, except this is used more to describe burned or disgusting food you find in most canteens or two-bit cafes, such as scabby bits on the end of sausages, or soggy chips.
Common phrase
Thats a bit mank-ass!
MEZ
Meryl Streep.
Common phrases Theres a Mez film on next week,
Theres no Mez on next week,
Why dont Universal release a big Mez box-set?,
The new Mez film starts filming next month,
Mez better get an Oscar this year. Gweneth Paltrow, my fad ass!
RURR-RURR
Used to describe anyone with a short tongue, like Jonathan Ross.
SCAB-ASS
Used to describe anything that is battered, dirty, or made by Cinema Club (both) See also MANK-ASS.
SEED
Used to describe anyone whos bald, or who has a receding hairline (reSEEDing).
SWEAD
Derivative from the word sweat. Usually used FAD, i.e. Look at that fad sweady baddad!
UFF
Used to describe people with lisps. Used with the word RURR-RURR, i.e. Listen to that Uffy Rurr-Rurr!
WAI
Derivitive from whale. Meaning someone of obease proportions, i.e a big fat fucking bastard.
Common Phrase -
"WAI!!!!"
WEND
A big fat shit. Derivitive from Wendy. Long story.
Common Phrases -
"I need a Wend".
"I need to go and see Wendy".
"I need a big Durdle-Wend".
* See also DURD.
WILLED
Derivative from the word old. The evolution goes as follows Old Ow-ald Owilled Willed. Used to describe Michael Douglas, or his dad Kirk Douglas.
Common phrase
Look at that willed!
"Look at that seedy willed-willed".
ZUN
Derivative from the word amazing. The evolution goes as follows Amazing Amayzun Zun. Versions of this can include Zunmay (aMAY-ZUN), or Zun of the May-May.
Common phrase Thats a bit zun (always said in a sarcastic way. For real enthusiasm, the actual word amazing should be used.)
VARIOUS OTHER WORDS, PHRASES AND COMEDY NAMES -
SCAMPLE MAZCRANK
MUNKLE BUTT SCRUNCH
MAZCRABAB PAPASS
SCRUNTY BUTT FUNCH
SCRUNTLE ASS BOD
MUNKLE FUNCH
MANKLEWANK
MANKLE ASS CRANK
MANKLE McASS
MANKLE SCABWANK
(or any other combination of these words.)
Ramble Crurgatory
Biddy Wodaho
Langanswoth Magabeebee
Rex Cravity
Marion Prevonowitz
Wendle Sturgitt
Shidadathon
Bastardarium
Bozbo Gozzleswatch Fotherwell
Gruntsplat Behabenfield
Boddy Widdlehif
Dulcum Swange
Transflungle Bazlemunch
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