REDNECK JOKEZ - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/jokesrule/REDNECK

You might be a redneck if your barbacue grill in your backyard is an old refridgerator

You may be a red neck if your house is on wheels and your car is not.

You might be a redneck if.. You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her children.

You might be a redneck if.. You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

You might be a redneck if.. You can't marry your sweet heart because there's a law against it.

You might be a redneck if you leave your tin of Copenhagen(chaw)as colateral!!
...If your four basic food groups are Beer, chew, wiskey, and road kill.

You might be a redneck if.. your most wealthiest relatives buy a new home and you help take the wheels off

Ya maht be a rednick if yer in-laws ain't REALLY yer in-laws at all!

If your T.V. takes longer then your truck too warm up You might be a redneck.

U'r prolly a redneck if...when ur drivin' past a fillin' station and th' sign sez "Clean Rest Rooms"...you do!

You might be a redneck if you go outside to get in your car and can't find it in the yard because the grass is to high

There were two Indians tryin to teach a redneck how to hunt.The first Indian goes out one day and kills a deer.

The redneck asks how he did it. The Indian said see tracks follow tracks kill deer.

The next day the other Indian went out and came back w/
a bear.The redneck asked the same question and the Indian answersed see tracks follow tracks kill bear.

The next day the redneck goes out and comes back

beet up. The Indians asked how he did that and the red neck says see tracks follow tracks get hit by train.

-If you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade
-If you use your belt buckle as a form of identification.
-If your sister is also your daughter, mom, cousin, and aunt (no, I havn't figured out if that works)
-If your hand is full of wedding rings.

You might be a redneck if you think Quality Entertainment is a six pack of beer and a bug zapper.

You might be a redneck if...

your truck is higher than your IQ.

if bu been on the jerry springer show more then once
patrick

If you went to your family reunion to pick up chicks

You might be a redneck if.....
the roof of your truck is higher than the roof of your house
You've never gone fishing sober

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

You get your dog, trailor and wife back.

Husband: Suger pie, What's fer supper?

Wife: Fiesh Sticks

Husband: Oh, It's ar anniversary agan?

You might be a redneck if... Your porch falls down and it kills the in-laws.

1.if youve been on americas most wanted.
2.if you consider 36 west virginian cheerleeders a full set of teeth.
3.if you think a bug zapper and a beer is quality entertainment.
4.if you pull your john boat without a trailer.

You might be a redneck if you've been on the Jerry Springer Show at least twice
and heve gotten in a fight at least once

You know you are a redneck when you let your 12 year old daughter sit at the table and smoke in front of her kids

You might be a redneck if ... you list an appearance on the "Jerry Springer Show" on your list of film credits....The words "fish" and "fry" together gets your date "in the mood"...if you think Ernest from the "Hey Vern" commercials is just "misunderstood" ... You have ten toes (though not equally distributed on each foot)... You name each finger after a day of the week so you know which one you'll use to pick your nose that "special" day...The menu at your favorite restaurant doesn't elaborate on "critter".

U know u're a redneck if:
1) u see a sign that sayz "NO CRACK" and it remindz u to pull up u're pantz
2) u have 9 carz and only 1 runz
3) people ask u if tha appliancez on u're front yard r for sale

Baby you might as well kiss heaven good-bye because its got to be a sin to look that good!

You Might be a redneck if you have astroturf in the back
of your pick-up truck

You know you're a redneck when you're mums your dad and your dads your brother and your sisters your mothers lover.

A rednecks last words.........Hey yall watch this.

If at Thanksgiving your best dishes have dixie printed on them, and the knife you carve the thanksgiving rooster with has BUCK stamped on it !

If you think coon hunting should be an olympic sport .

If you have a favorite key that you use to scratch or clean your ear with .
If you have been bitten by a rattle
snake while atending church .

OK, here's a good redneck joke that ma cousin Billy Bob Joe told me one sundee afternoon as we sat on our porch drinkin beer an' lookin' at ma sista's ass.

Billy Bob: Hey, you know what?
Me: No, what?
Billy Bob: That sista of yurs is quite a looker...
Me: SHADDUP!
Billy Bob: No, you dont undurstand, i think she's been lookin' at ya all day, y'know, in dat "special" way...
Me: naw...are you kiddin' me?
Billy Bob: No! I'm tellin' yaw the truth!!
SO I SAYS
Well I'll be damned!!!

you might be a redneck if your mother in law says yall come look at this before I flush it.

You know your a redneck when...
• you go to a family reunion planning to meet chicks.
• your first wet dream is about your mom.

You Might Be A Redneck If.....
1. You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
3. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
4. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
5. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a celing fan.
6. Your Junior/Senior prom had a Daycare.
7. You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines!"
8. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
9. You take a six-pack cooler to church.
10. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
11. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
12. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
13. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House Of Tattoos.
14. You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
15. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cuz there's a law against it.
16. You dated on of your parent's current spouses in high school.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
18. Your school fight song is "Deuling Banjos."
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Q.What did the redneck say when she finished having sex?
A.Get off me dad ya crushing me smokes

How do you keep a redneck buizy for a month?
Hand them a bag of M&M's and tell them to Alfabatize them.
Cat Webster

You might be a redneck if your mom comes out of the bathroom and says,"y'all come look at this befor I flush it!"

You might be a redneck if.....your wife goes to take a bath and you have to take out your engine!

You might be a redneck if your mama rips a hole in her best dress while coon hunting

You might be a red neck if...

Meals on wheels is a dog wearing roller skates.

You know your a redneck if : Your mother and your sister are the the same person!

You might be a redneck if...

You wife, your dog, your truck, and your favorite song are all called "Dixie"

If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.

You might be a redneck:
If you were conceived during a conjugal visit.

You're a redneck if your name starts with a 'Bill' and ends with a 'CLinton', and you claim to not have had 'sexual relations with THAT woman.'

If one of your family members was killed because there still blew up!!

you might be a redneck if.....
Your over 30 and your still giving people wedgies.

you might be a red neck if you dad drives you to school on a john deere tractor.

Sam Albahari
69 Jokes Road
Westport	Road	jokes
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Page Updated Fri May 14, 1999 8:20pm EDT