1. Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!!
2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), "If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
4. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
5. Fuck me if I'm wrong....but haven't we met before?
6. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
7. I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
8. Are those real?
9. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I sure can make your bed rock.
10. (offer guy/girl a screw) wanna screw?
11. Ya know, that shirt is very becoming on you......of course, if I was on you, I'd be cumming too.
12. The word of the day is LEGS, so let's go to my house and spread the word.
13. The only place I want to go is south of the border.
14. Hey you want to know what I heard about you? Fuck me and I'll tell you.
15. Why don't you come over and we can do math in the bed; add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply.
16. What's a nice girl like you doing on a face like this?
17. Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
18. Mmmmmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible"
19. So, do you want to see something really swell?
20. Excuse me but is your last name "Gillette"......cause you are the best a man can get!
21. Hey baby.....can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
22. My shirt's chaffing me.....
23. Excuse me miss, do you give head to strangers? (No) Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
24. They call me Milk, because I do your body good.
25. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
26. Hey baby, wanna wrestle.
27. Hi, do you want to have children? (assuming the answer is no) Ok then, can we just practice?
28. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
29. They say the best things in life are free....they lied (but I do accept American Express)
30. This Valentines Day, I really want you to know how I feel.....So you better use both hands.
31. You can feel the magic between us......No, lower!
32. You're on my mind this Valentine's Day.....I'd prefer you on my bed.
33. This Valentine's Day I want you to know that I'm head-over-heels for you....and I know some other positions too.
34. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
35. You have 250 bones in your body, want another?
36. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
37. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
38. Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
39. Yo baby, I bust more nuts than a squirrel.
#40-54 are from Adam. He's the man. Thanx Adam
40. Are we related? Do you wanna be?
41. Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
42. Here is the phone. Call your mama and tell her your not coming home tonight.
43. If you were a seed I would plant a whole field of you.
44. Be unique be different say yes.
45. Inheriting £6 million doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
46. Are you a parking ticket? Cuz its just you've got fine written all over you.
47. Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?
48. wish you were a screen door. So I could slam u all day.
49. Can I borrow the phone please. I want to call your mom to thank her.
50. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
51. Hi I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart.
52. If I followed you home would you keep me?
53. Were you arrested earlier? Cuz its got to be illegal to look that good.
54. Excuse me could you please leave? Cuz your making the other girls look bad.
55. Excuse me, do you wash your pants in Windex, cause I can see myself in them. -Corey
56. Are you part Jamaican? Cause Ja-makin'-me-horney! -Clark
57. Do you have a keg in your pants because I want to tap that ass.
58. You wanna come over to my place for sex and pizza? (girl says no) What you don't like pizza?
59. Is there an airport near or is that my heart taking off. -Sy
60. Excuse me. Did you just fart? -Sy
61. When she asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" He says: "Do you have the energy?" -Sy
62. Go up to someone, and check his or her shirt tag. Then say Sorry, I was just checking to see if you were made in heaven. -Sy
63. Get a single rose and walk up to her/him, hand it to that person, and say... Here this buds for you. -Sy
64. Girl, I'll drink your bath water -Sy
65. Q: Did it hurt? A: Excuse me? Q: When you fell from heaven, did it hurt? -Sy
66. You must be a horrible person because God took all your beauty and used it for the outside. -Sy
67. Baby, are those Moon pants you're wearing? 'Cause you're out of this world! -Sy
68. I'm not trying to pick you up, because you're too heavy! -Sy
69. Do you have a quarter? (No, why?) Because my mom told me to call her when I met god! -Sy
70. Are your parent's terrorists? 'Cause you're the bomb. -Sy
71. Is your father a baker? Because you've got great buns! -Sy
72. Male: Girl, You know your dad's a thief. Female: Why? Male: Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. -Sy
REJECTIONS TO PICK-UP LINES
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked girl to dance and she refused:
Man: "Want to dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman:"It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."
And here's one including the correct snappy return.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a club while she was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my life?" She took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet."
A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She> turned around and said to me, "What are you looking at?" My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken."
While at college, a few friends were discussing how their "passes" had been rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies explained how she handled it once...
When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like, "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!" She responded, "Yea! Let's pick up some chicks!" He immediately blanched, and decided that maybe he would look some place else.
