MoRe JoKeR GuYs JoKeS 4 - Jokes - http://maxpages.com/jokerguy/MoRe_JoKeR_GuYs_JoKeS

Hey JoKeR GuY SaYs-

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The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.
One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.
When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office.
Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.
So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"
Johnny said "Yes"
"Well, what did the principal say?"
"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."

It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honor." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure.
"Explain that statement!" harrumphed the Judge.
"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar & she asked me what I wanted most in a woman -- so I showed her."

A secretary walked into her boss's office & said,
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once"
"All right. Here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile!"

An Army driver was chauffeur to a Major who was a notorious womanizer.
One day, the major saw a lovely girl. "Turn the car round," he ordered.
The driver promptly stalled the car. By the time he had re-started it, the girl had vanished.
"Driver," said the major, "you'd be a total loss in an emergency."
"I thought I did pretty well," the driver said. "That was my girl."

Have you heard about the latest sensation?
It's called "Rodeo Sex"?
That's when you mount your wife doggy style and in the middle of the sex act you bend over and whisper in her ear,
"Your sister has tighter pussy than you", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!

Female & Male translation guide

Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.

female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.

male: Food, sex and beer.

Thingy (thing-ee) n.

female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.

female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.

female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Butt (but) n.

female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.

female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.

female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
male: An endless source of enterainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Making love (may-king luv) n.

female: The greatest expression of intimacy that a couple can achieve.
male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste (tayst) v.

female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

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Page Updated Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:31pm EST