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Q. How do you turn a washing machine into a snow plow?
A. Give the bitch a shovel.



The seven dwarfs were all in bed feeling happy ...
then he got out of bed so they felt grumpy instead.



"Where did I come from, Mommy?" little Johnny asked.

"Well, dear, you...ah...came from a bucket."

Little Johnny later cornered his father and asked him, "Daddy, Mommy said I came from a bucket. Is that true ?"

"Well...yes, son," the father grimaced, "I am afraid that is about the size of it."



Dentists do it orally
Cops do it with cuffs
DJ's do it on request
Truckers do it in the road
Soldiers do it under orders
Detectives do it under cover
Australians do it Down Under
Zoologists do it with animals
Gardeners do it in the bushes
Gas attendants Pump all day
Firemen do it with a big hose
Frank Sinatra does it his way
Engineers do it to specification
Garbage men come twice a week
Chess players check their Mates
Ambulance drivers come quicker
Pianists touch, tickle, and titillate!
Housewives do it for an allowance
Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast
Mountain Climbers like to be on top
Waiters and waitresses do it for tips
Accountants do it with Double Entry
Landlords do it every 1st of the month
Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
Travel Agents do it in lots of different places
Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
Bartenders do it on the Rocks
Postal Workers - Lick It Before Stick It
Computer wizards do it with plug-ins


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