Reasons why beer is better than a women - Jokes - http://maxpages.com/jokeforyou/Why_beer_is_better_than

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you.

5. When a beer goes flat, you toss it.

6. There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason number six.

7. Hangovers go away.

8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never had a headache.

12. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth 10 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.

14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.

15. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

16. A beer always goes down easy.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. A beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. A beer doesn't care when you come home.

22. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. Beer always comes in multiples of six

26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left

27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer

28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than

dumping the empty bottle

29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty

30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another

31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod

32. Beer looks the same in the morning

33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month

34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in

35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids

36. Beer doesn't get cramps

37. Beer doesn't have a mother

38. Beer doesn't have morals

39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month

40. Beer always listens and never argues

41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year

42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles

43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet

44. Beer doesn't demand legality

45. Beer is never overweight

46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony

47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards

48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer

49. Beer doesn't need much closet space

50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things

51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive

52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch

53. Beer never changes it's mind

54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get

55. Beer never asks you to change the station

56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping

57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass

58. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks

59. Big, fat beers are nice to have

60. Beer doesn't pout or play games

61. Beer NEVER says no

63. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere

64. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers

65. Beer doesn't wear a bra

66. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty

67. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity

68. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper

69. Beer doesn't live with its mother

70. Beer doesn't blow you off

71. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners

72. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry

73. Beer doesn't mind football season

74. Beer won't make you go to church.

75. Beer is more likely to know how to spell "carbureator " than a woman.

76. Beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.

77. A beer takes about five seconds to get ready.

78. A beer doesn't give a f*** if you keep a bunch of other beers around.

79. Beer is never late.

80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the

babies are "cute".

81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.

82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of

"doberperson".

83. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian

folk music on yer fave radio station.

84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.

85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the

toilet seat up.

86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer,

it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.

87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.

88. A beer won't smoke in your car.

89. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down

an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner

out of the sky.

90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.

91. A beer will actually _support_ belching and farting and share yer

enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the

1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.

92. A beer is always ready to leave on time.

93. A beer never fishes for compliments.

94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.

95. Beer tastes _good_.

96. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then

decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".

97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching

"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on yer VCR.

98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.

99. A beer won't think the Circle Jerks are gross just because they're

called the Circle Jerks. (They _are_ gross, but that's not why).

100. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the

grocery store.

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