Bad Pick Up Lines - Jokes - http://maxpages.com/jokeforyou/Bad_Pick_Up

Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing
that POPS up!!!
(motion for girl to come here with one finger), "If I can make you come
with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Fuck me if I'm wrong...but haven't we met before?
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
Are those real?
I may not be Fred Flinstone but I sure can make your bed rock.
(offer guy/girl a screw)wanna screw?
Ya know, that shirt is very becoming on you.....of course, if I was on you,
I'd be cumming too.
The word of the day is LEGS, so let's go to my house and spread the word.
The only place I want to go is south of the border.
Hey you want to know what I heard about you? Fuck me and I'll tell you.
Why don't you come over and we can do math in the bed; add the bed,
subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply.
What's a nice girl like you doing on a face like this?
Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible"
So, do you want to see something really swell?
Exuse me but is your last name "Gillette".....Cause you are the best a man
can get!
Hey baby...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
My shirt's chaffing me....
Excuse me miss, do you give head to strangers?(no) Well, then, allow me to
introduce myself.
They call me Milk, because I do your body good.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
Hey baby, wanna wrestle?
Hi, do you want to have children?(assuming the answer is no) Ok then, can
we just practice?
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
They say the best things in life are free...they lied(but I do accept
American Express)
This Valentine's Day, I really want you to know how I feel...So you better
use both hands.
You can feel the magic between us...No lower!
You're on my mind this Valentine's Day...I'd prefer you on my bed.
You're on my mind this Valentine's Day I want you to know that I'm
head-over-heels for you....and I know some other positions too.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that
thing you do with yo
ur tongue.
You have 250 bones in your body, want another?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could
do it in public.
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly from the inside?
Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
Yo baby I bust more nuts than a squirrel.

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Page Updated Sun Jul 10, 2005 8:44am EDT