The Squaresoft Senshi - Chapter One. Good Day Princess Aeris! - Anime - http://maxpages.com/johnsficpage/The_Squaresoft_Senshi_Chp

This is a big-ass crossover fic me and my friend wrote. It was originally her idea, but also helped pick the characters (and suggested the co-write) All the FF games and CT and Xenogears, AND Wild ARMs belong to Sqwuaresoft, bof2 belongs to capcom, Lunar belongs to working designs. We are not writing this for profit, so please don't sue or I'll go medieval on your ass! ^^;; Eh heh....Sailor Moon is owned by Naoko Tekuichi and Teoi animation. Enjoy!

(Moonlight Dentetsu starts up, only with different words, and sang in English)
Praying for the Planet by moonlight, kickin' ass by daylight, she is the one named Sailor Moon (Switch to Aeris in a fuku)
She will never turn back on her friends, she is always there to defend she is the one on who we can depend, she is the one named sailor...
Sailor Venus! (Selphie in a fuku....::shudders::)
Sailor Mercury! (Terra in a fuku)
Sailor Mars! (Tifa in a fuku)
Sailor Jupiter! (Daryl in a fuku)
Using materia oh-so-new to them
They are the Sailor Squaresoft girls!
(Instrumental break, shows Aeris and Tifa in the middle of a tongue fight, then switches to Selphie pushing a dynamite plunger and blowing Kathie Lee's studio to smithereens, then Terra throwing a book at Aeris, finally with Daryl pointing to her chest with her thumb and mouthing out something like "I'm the most talented!")
Praying for the Planet by moonlight
Kickin' ass by daylight
Wihtout materia she screwed in a fight,
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She is the Squaresoft Sailor Moon!
(Shows the 5 girls taking their poses, followed by Celes, Rinoa, Quistis, and Relm in fukus, standing behind them)
Sailor Moon!

Sailor Universal
Sailor Squaresoft!
By Katt Chuan and Mimic Mistress Daryl
Chapter 1
Good Day, Princess Aeris!

Notes and disclaimer in the theme song. Wish us luck!

<---------->

Long ago, on the moon, there was a joyful, glee-filled, happy-go-lucky kingdom, run by Queen Ifalna. But one day, the evil sorceress Ultimecia, from the future, got REALLY pissed at her daughter, and that wasn't really a good thing, for she had taken away her only true love. The Moon Kingdom was screwed big-time. Ultimecia unleashed an attack on the kingdom, and so our story begins.

***

Ifalna Gast looked around the ballroom for any sign of her daughter. "I gotta warn her that Tifa spiked the punch again," she thought, her eyes settling on a man with a spiky blonde hairdo.
"Cloud! Good evening!" She said cheerfully, fixing the barrette in her hair and brushing her short brown bangs out of her eyes. Cloud Strife set his wine glass down.
"Good evening Queen Ifalna," He replied, brushing his hair back and finding out he cut his hand on a hairpsike soon afterward. "Ouch! Have you seen Princess Aerith?" Ifalna nodded, motioning to the balcony. "Thanks." He walked off, and Ifalna turned back.
"No Selphie, don't drink the punch!" She called to Selphie Tilmitt, who was dipping a ladle into the bowl.

***

"This ball is quite nice, so lovely," Celes Chere said, looking around at the couples dancing. Quistis Trepe sipped her glass of wine, straightening her short hair, smoothing out her tuxedo.
"Yeah, it is quite nice. Hey, Celes, wanna dance?" Quistis offered, holding out her hand. Celes accepted it. They looked around and saw Selphie stumbling around, giggling drunkenly.
"Heheheheheheheheh, I'm gonna blow this place to smithereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeens! Moooooo!" Everybody at the ball inched away from her nervously at this. Daryl Givanni threw a ballet slipper at her, which hit Selphie in the head. Everyone resumed dancing, congratulating Daryl as they passed by. Daryl tied Selphie up and dragged her into the laundry room, where she chanced upon....
"Those two go at it like rabbits," she thought dryly as she watched Celes and Quistis make out inside a dryer. Just for fun she pressed the spin-dry button, setting it on 70 minutes. "There, now it's more fun," She thought, watching with amusement as they shouted obscenities at her.
"Daryl, when I get outta here- OW!" Celes yelled, hitting her head on the glass door. Rinoa Heartilly walked in, and doubled over laughing as she watched the two girls tumble around.
"Daryl, did you do this?" Daryl nodded.
"Good job!" Rinoa laughed, giving her a high five.
"I'm gonna kick your ass for this!" Celes yelled, untangling her dress from her shoes.

***

Terra Branford sighed and gazed up at the stars, sweeping her green ponytail over her shoulders.
"When I close my eyes, I break down and cry, somethin bout the way I'm feelin' yeah," She sang, remembering a song by Shanice. "The thought of your kiss, my heart can't resist, it's all about the way you love me, yeah!" She turned around to see half the patrons staring at her. A sweatdrop sliding down her head. "What? WHAT?!" A man coughed, and she thought she heard a cry of "WITCH!" from somewhere, but no one knew what that was about. She stuck out her tongue and headed for the laundry room to sing to herself.

***

"Great, just what we need, an audience!" Quistis mumbled as she and Celes continued tumbling around in the dryer. Terra had come in and Daryl was charging 3,000 ¥ admission fee for people to watch.
"Heheheheheh! This is sweet!" Terra exclaimed.

***

Later that night.....
"Terra! Tifa! Celes! Quistis! Daryl! Rinoa! Selphie.....ah, Selphie, you sober yet?"
"Yeah," came the mumbled reply.
"Well wake the hell up! Aeris is in trouble!" Ifalna shouted.
"Oh, bitch bitch bitch," Daryl grumbled, getting up and yawning.
"She didn't.....ah, drink....the punch, did she?" Tifa asked.
"I should hope not," Ifalna and Selphie replied in unison. Tifa looked up to the sky.
"What did I do, God?" She asked.
"Spiked the punch and gave me a helluva hangover," Selphie replied bitterly.
"JUST TRANSFORM!" Ifalna yelled, blasting all the doors open with her powerful lungs. "Celes, Quistis, for the love of God, put some clothes on!"
"Sorry!"
"MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!"
"MARS CRYSTAL POWER!"
"JUPITER WONDERBRA-er, CRYSTAL POWER!"
"Heeeey! VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!"
"NEPTUNE CRYSTAL POWER!"
"PLUTO CRYSTAL POWER!"
"URANUS CRYSTAL POWER!" The other senshi and Ifalna snickered. "Oh, shut up!" Quistis said, straightening her fuku. "Celes, we'll do that later," She said to Celes, who was under her skirt. Celes pulled her head away and looked up.
"Okay!"

***

"Cloud, what are we gonna do?!" Aeris Gainsborough shrieked as the most horrible monster anyone had ever seen swiped at them. It was a giant pink fuzzy bunny with chibi character eyes that registered "kawaii overload." The cute fuzzy pink rabbit of death let out a roar- er, a rabbit's version of a roar at least. It pounded on a giant drum hanging over it's shoulders, a logo imprinted on the side reading "Energizer batteries, they keep going and going and going...."
"Oh no! It's gonna cute them to death!" Terra yelled, the moon gleaming off the blue jewel in her tiara. "SHABON SPRAY!!" Aeris let out a sigh.
"Oh, like THAT'S gonna help! What're you gonna do, Terra, give him a bath or something?!" The cute pink fuzzy bunny of death turned around and got soap in it's eyes.
"Aaaah!" A squeaky, cute cry escaped it's mouth, gnashing it's teeth. It pounded on the drum and happy little bluebirds perched on Terra's arms and head and began to chirp a happy tune.
"NOO! Help! Too friggin' cute!" Terra said. She began to strangle the bird on her head, and heaved it into the wall when it pooped in her hair. "Ugh!" She held a soap bubble delicately in her hands and began washing the crap out of her hair.
"SUPREME TIT-Er, THUNDER CRASH!" Daryl yelled, throwing a large ball of thunder at the cute monstrosity before her. It hit the batteries in the back, shorting them out. "Well I'll be damned!" Quistis and Celes covered themselves up with their fukus, grabbing their discarded bras and panties.
"Uhh....Aeris! Ifalna! Destroy it now! It's too damn cute!" Celes called before going back down for another make-out session with Quistis. Aeris and Ifalna pulled out their silver crystals from Hammerspace.
"DOUBLE MOON CHEESEBURGERS- Uh, CRISIS!" They shouted, light coming and crushing the cuteness, thankfully. Ifalna shook her head sadly.
"Now there's blood ALL over the courtyard!"
"Sorry, 'Ma." They looked up to see Edgar Roni Figaro, Reno Sinclair, Tseng Okochi and Rufus ShinRa munching popcorn and guzzling sodas, watching Celes and Quistis.
"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" Aeris and Ifalna shouted to Celes and Quistis. Daryl sighed.
"You want a show boys? Tifa, if you will." Tifa Lockheart nodded and they both pulled their fuku tops up, causing the 4 men to develop nosebleeds and pass out. Aeris gazed at Tseng with stars in her eyes. Too bad for Aeris he was in ShinRa...er, I mean the Dark Moon Kingdom! (Stay steady 4th wall!) Ultimecia suddenly floated down, the ShinRa theme cuing up.
"Ultimecia?! I thought we packaged you and sent you to the film festival on that undiscovered planet.." Ifalna said.
"The bitch is back!" Ultimecia cackled. "And believe me, I have an entire ARMY of sickeningly cute chibis! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Cloud glared at her and took out his sword.
"EUGH! Cloud, this is neither the time or place!" Aeris shrieked.
"Sorry! Wrong sword," Cloud replied, drawing Ultima Weapon from its scabbard. Celes and Quistis, back in their fukus, took a fighting stance. Before they did, Celes turned to Quistis, breathing heavily and sweating.
"Was it good for you too?" She asked, smoothing out her hair.
"It wasn't quite what I expected," Quistis replied, her face flushed, her fuku wrinkled. Ultimecia sent some overly kawaii puppies at them. One puppy grew fangs and started humping Terra's leg.
"Why does the fauna always pick on me?!" She asked.
"URANUS-" Ultimecia, the puppies, the senshi, Aeris, and Ifalna snickered. "SHUT UP! WORLD SHAKING!" The ground shook as a large yellow orb surrounded the puppies. They fell to the ground, with big "Hello kitty!" eyes. Ifalna sighed.
"Well, looks like there will be hell to clean up," She commented. She pulled out her silver crystal from Hammerspace again, as did Aeris.
"No, let us take care of it," Quistis said, shoving a hand down her panties and fumbling around for something. She pulled out the Space Sword, wiping it off before holding it high. The others sweatdropped and stared at her.
"Does she....ALWAYS keep it there?" Ultimecia asked, disgusted.
"SPACE SWORD BLASTER!" Quistis yelled, a big-ass beam splitting and striking all the disgustingly cute puppies. More blood sprayed over the palace.
"DAMMIT QUISTIS!" Ifalna yelled. "Now I have blood all over my new silk dress!" Aeris shrugged, poured seltzer water over it, and the bloodstain immediately disappeared. "Kickass!"
"YOU TWO GET A ROOM!" Ultimecia and the other senshi yelled at Quistis and Celes, who were once again going at it on the ground. The 4 Generals of the Moon Kingdom had long since disappeared, leaving Ultimecia to fend for herself. 7 giant kittens, the size of humans, formed. They had a shadowy complexion.
"Seven shadows, get them!" Ultimecia commanded before jumping on the Lunar Taxi. "Cabby, to Lunatic Pandora and STEP ON IT!" The cabby stepped on the gas pedal, and ironically the engine exploded. Ultimecia immediately used a Holy Trial on herself, becoming immune to the chaos for a while. It faded as soon as she jumped out of the car.....
"Eh heh....how ironic," Ultimecia noted, a sweatdrop hanging over her head.
"DOUBLE MOON CRISIS!" Aeris and Ifalna said, a giant crystal sphere coming and enveloping Ultimecia. She was whisked away into a black hole.
"NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Ultimecia screamed as she was streched into thin ribbons. "I'll have my sweet revenge! I won't rest until I have every last ounce of energy in your bodies!"
"Now do something about those kittens!" Quistis said, coming up for air before Celes pulled her head back down. Ifalna looked around, destruction raining down on her kingdom. Ultimecia was getting her revenge already.
"Oh, shit!" Ifalna said, biting her fingernails. "I don't have insurance!"
"MOM NO BAKA!" Aeris said. Ifalna looked at her.
"Looks like we'll have to...."
"Shatter the crystals..." Aeris finished sadly. Her family heirloom- well, the copy of it- was gone. "MOON CRISIS CRYSTALS SHATTER!" They yelled, holding up the silver crystals. The crystals floated in the air, joined as one, and shattered into 7 different colored shards, encasing the kittens and sending them to the black hole. The palace began to crumble around them.
"Mom, we've gotta get outta here!" All possible means of exit crumbled to pieces, blocking their paths. "Well, THAT was sudden......" Ifalna looked at them.
"I'll stay here." The two Guardian cats, Alfador and Katt Chuan, ran up to them from out of nowhere.
"Ifalna, you can't!" Alfador said. "You're gonna kick the bucket if you do, buy the farm, CROAK!"
"Plus you're gonna die!" Katt added. Alfador sweatdropped.
"That's what I meant furbrain." Ifalna shook her head.
"I'll be okay. MOON CRYSTAL POWER!" She held up her wand, with a third silver crystal imbedded in it. Everyone stared. "It was on sale, okay?! They had loads of em!" Everyone on the moon, minus Ifalna, was encased in a bubble immediately, in a deep sleep. They had separate bubbles, except for Celes and Quistis, who had somehow managed to end up in the same bubble, Celes's head buried in Quistis's chest, "Those two never give up," Ifalna said before falling to the ground dead. The bubbles took a swift course for the Earth...

End chapter 1

Author's Notes: How'd you like it? Hmm? Send comments and criticism on chapter 1 to KattChuan703, or GogoFanNO3. Thaks for reading! ^.-

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Page Updated Sun Jan 26, 2003 1:49am EST