The MST for chapter one of Dark Crysals P3 - Anime - http://maxpages.com/johnsficpage/Chp_one_of_Dark_Crystals

-The tour was pretty interesting. Usagi had milked a cow
Setzer> ::imitating Usagi:: look ma! I can milk myself!
- but had taken a half an hour trying to figure out where the milk came from. (It's not that hard to figure out) But when the farmer ushered everyone into the barn......
Edgar> they all laughed at usagi when they saw she tried to milk a bull?
-"Hey, let's sneak outta here. This is getting boring," Makoto whispered. Usagi, Ami, Rei, and Minako all nodded and left the barn. No one seemed to notice.
Terra> ::imitating the principal:: I don't care where they go as long as it's single file.
-"Now, everyone, watch THIS!" Nichiwa declared in a harsh, gruff voice, his eyes glowing as a pitchfork levitated above everyone and twirled rapidly. A glittering powder fell over everyone, causing most to go into a trance. Naru and Umino held their noses and shut their eyes.
"What IS this stuff?"
Edgar> ::imitating Nichiwa:: Oh. just powdered viagra.
Setzer> ::imitating Naru:: Touch me and you'll die Umino.
-Naru asked, coughing. Umino shrugged. The pitchfork suddenly stopped, prongs facing downwards above the head of a student.
"Oh, great gods, goddesses, heed my call. Provide me a blood sacrifice to awaken the power of the 7 Gems, the 7 Crystals sapphire, peridot, emerald, ruby, diamond, topaz, and garnet. Awaken their leader, their ruler, Amethyst. Bring me the power!"
terra> ::imitating the goddess:: hmm..... ::thinks:: NO!
-The pitchfork suddenly shot down at an alarming rate, heading for the student's head.
"NO!" Naru cried, pushing the student out of the way. The pitchfork jabbed into her arm, and she shrieked in pain.
"Umino-sama! Help!"
Setzer> ::imitating Umino:: Sure. NOW she asks for my help!
-She yelled, struggling to get the pitchfork out. "Oh Gods......What's happened to Mr. Nichiwa?"
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"NO!" Rei turned around quickly, looking in the direction of the barn.
"Was that Naru-chan?"
-"It sounded like her," Ami said.
"This could be trouble, minna. Henshin!"
"Mercury Star Power!"
"Mars Star Power!"
"Jupiter Star Power!"
"Venus Star Power!"
"Moon.....Crystal.....POWER!"
"Senshi power!" They cried out together
Setzer>.... When did the fic turn lemon on us?
-and the henshin began. (Yes, since this is in the Japanese version, it has the body lines. This is for all you hentais out there)
They each struck their respective poses, respective element and respective sign in the background. A tidal wave under the sign of Mercury. A roaring firestorm surrounding the symbol of Mars. A lightning bolt and a grove blending in with the symbol of Jupiter. Rays of sunlight glowing around the sign of Venus. A rose in a crescent moon.
Edgar and Setzer> ::passed out on the floor. Blood coming out of noses and their legs are twitching::
Terra> Hentai Bakas......
-"Come on!" Rei commanded, running towards the barn. The door made a creaking sound as Rei opened it, light surrounding her and the other senshi.
"Hey, shit-for-brains! You like picking on people? Pick on someone your own size!" Rei yelled. Usagi's eyes scanned the room, and fell on her friend.
Terra> ::Imitating Naru:: Dammit Usagi! Keep your eyes in your head!
-"Oh, Naru!" She screamed, rushing madly to assist the bleeding girl. "Naru, are you all right? What did he do to you?" Naru looked up, face deathly pale.
Edgar> ::imitating Naru:: NO! I've just been stabbed with F^%$ing Pitchfork you moron!
-"It's......nothing........Sailor Moon.....I'm okay........just got hit with a pitchfork.....but it'll heal...I'll be strong." She said weakly. The front and left arm of her school uniform was completely red. Usagi gasped. "No......we have to get you to a hospital........wait a minute." She closed her eyes and formed an image in her mind. Naru looking alive and well. Running and sprinting, bursting with energy as always. The energy now coursed through her own veins. She pictured Naru's healed arm. She focused the picture towards Naru herself, focused the new blood cells to replace lost ones. Naru's shirt sleeve magically regenerated, the uniform turning white again. The blood was going back into her body.
All> ::blink. Blink::
-"My......my arm," Naru whispered in awe. "Arigato, Sailor Moon. Arigato. I don't know how I'll ever repay you!"
Terra> ::imitating usagi:: We take cash, checks and most major credit cards.
-"Just get out while you can. This guy is extremely dangerous." Naru nodded, her eyes containing gratitude.
Setzer> ::imitating usagi:: Dammit! my eyes don't contain anything!
"Hai.......and arigato again!" she called as she ran out the door, dragging Umino along with her. Nichiwa stared in shock.
-"How-how'd she do that?" The senshi were wondering that as well.
Edgar> ::imitating Minako as Mihoshi:: it's easy. first she grabbed him by the colar and yanked him out after her.
"No matter, because you won't be able to do it again when I get through with you!"
Edgar> if this becomes a lemon i'm leaving.
-Nichiwa called, pointing towards the senshi. The pitchfork increased in size, and sped for the girls. Usagi closed her eyes and quickly formed an image of an unconscious Nichiwa, trapped between the prongs, a small bruise on his forehead. The pitchfork turned around and headed for Nichiwa, stabbing into the wall and trapping him between the prongs, a bruise on his forehead
Setzer> ::imitating Rei who has just been hit by a safe:: Dammit! Where did that safe come from?
Edgar> ::imitating usagi:: Heh heh heh.
-. He was unconscious. Just as Usagi had pictured.
"Now...." She thought, focusing her long-forgotten powers into the Moon Scepter. The Moon Healing. She raised the Scepter, and twirled around at an inhuman speed.
Edgar> the speed of a stoned slug.
-She crouched down, then stood back up, twirling all the while. There was a red, white, blonde, and blue whirl.
"Moon...Healing..ACTIVATION!" She yelled, pointing the Scepter at Nichiwa.
Terra> But sadly. the warranty had expired on the scepter and nothing happened.
- A laser beam struck his hand, and a diamond dropped out, shattering when it hit the floor. The fragments turned black. The 5 senshi quickly reverted to their street clothes before the students got up.
"Wow, what happened?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Don't look at me like that, ecchi baka hentai~!" *slap*
"Ow!" Voices clamored, dazed and confused.
"Guys, let's just act casual," Usagi suggested, pretending to be waking up from the trance. "Naru-chan, what happened?" Usagi asked. Naru turned to Usagi.
Setzer> ::imitating Naru:: Oh. I just got stabbed by a pitchfork, some wierd Person saved my life by a telepathic power and i dragged Uminos sorry ass out of the barn.
Edgar> ::imitating Usagi:: So same old same old then?
-"Oh! Well, here goes. It seems Mr. Nichiwa was possessed by some evil force. He made a pitchfork stab me in the arm! But then, the most amazin' thing happened! Sailor Moon came by and healed up my arm, and she returned Mr. Nichiwa back to normal!" Usagi gasped.
Edgar> ::imitating usagi watching two pigs having sex:: Wow. that's interesting but what the HELL are those pigs doing?!
-"Wow! Are you sure you're all right?" She pulled up the sleeve of Naru's shirt, already knowing what she would see."Wow! You sure you weren't dreaming?"
Terra> ::imitating Naru:: Hmm let me think......... NO!
-"Nope. Umino saw it with his own......well, I guess he DOES have eyes behind those big-ass glasses. But the most remarkable thing.....Sailor Moon sure does look a lot like you. Hairstyle, voice, even same facial features....maybe....." Naru said, stroking her chin thoughtfully.
Setzer> ::imitating Usagi as Mihoshi:: Ummm..... What was the question again?
- Usagi laughed, doing the best "Play dumb" laugh she could summon.
"Naru-chan, I'm very flattered, but a klutz like ME be Sailor Moon? Yeah right! Knowing her and me, she probably has more IQ points than Ami-chan! I think you must've hit your head or something. But thanks for the compliment. I'm flattered," she said. Naru smiled
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
'Yes! She doesn't suspect a thing!' Usagi thought. She smiled inwardly. She turned around to see Naru heading towards a familiar pair of glasses.
Edgar> ::imitating Bill Gates:: Heh heh heh. I'm BACKKKKKK!!!! ::evil nerd laugh::
-"Hey, Umino-baka! Get over here!" Naru yelled across the barn, running towards him as fast as she could. As the students filed back onto the bus, Usagi noticed something was amiss.
' Why'd we never sing Moonlight Dentetsu to Nichiwa?'
Terra> if she sings like that again i'm outta here...
***********************************************************************************

-"Okay, you want the truth?"
Edgar> Probably not.... the way this fic is going....
-"SHE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
Setzer> ::imitating Umino as Darth Vader:: Usagi-chan.... I am your brothers cousins, best friends second roommate.
Terra> ::imitating usagi:: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! ::sobs like usagi::
-"Shut it, Minako-baka," Rei ordered. She then turned to Usagi. "The truth is, we couldn't stand your singing. It's terrible." Usagi's eyes filled up with tears, and everyone could tell she was about to start her dreaded whining.
Edgar> everyone take positions! Usagi is about to cry!!! ::hides behind his seat::
-"Calling Senshi Con 1!" Makoto ordered, plugging her ears, hiding behind a wall of quick-dry cement bags.
"Roger! Everyone, man your stations!" Minako said. "TAKE COVER!"
"Rei.......*sniff*.......you're.......such a.............BAAAAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Usagi whined, shattering all glass windows within a 50-mile radius.
"Please cease and desist. What are your demands?" Ami questioned of Usagi, hoping this would shut off the switches that were Usagi's tear ducts. The switches were shut off. Usagi's face brightened up.
Edgar> Whew..... At least it's over... ::gets back into his seat wearily::
Setzer> O_O. What? ::blood comes out of his ears::
Terra> x_x..... ::is knocked out::
-"Well, I could use that stack of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor V mangas Rei was reading the other day," she said jubilantly. Every fell anime-style, making assorted "oof!" sounds.
************************************************************************************

Ikuko shook her head sadly as she stared at all the shattered fragments that had once been antique vases, passed down from her mother, from her mother's mother, from her mother's mother's chihuahua for some reason, and farther back then that.
"Any way we could get that girl some therapy?" she asked of Kenji, who was trying to find a pair of stored replacement glasses that weren't broken.
Edgar> ::Imitating the therapist as Happousai:: Hmm.. Do wear panties when you cry?
-"I hope so. She needs it, especially with that college boyfriend of hers...."
"Kenji-papa, I just got hit by Hurricane Odango-baka. What happened?"
"She must've whined again, got damn near half of Tokyo complaining," Ikuko replied, looking at her son, Shingo. Chibiusa followed behind him.
"That baka. Just because Rei insulted her singing....I'm with Rei. Girl can't sing for her life," the pink-haired girl replied, the Luna Ball bobbing silently in response.
Setzer> ::imitating Usagi:: I HEARD THAT!!!! ::cries again destroying tyoko::
**************************************************************************************

-"Aiishitenai.....oko no ya ne...ei to cho, kaitari!" Minako sang, curtsying when she heard the other 4 applaud. One of her favorite themes to Ranma 1/2, called Little Date. 'I wish that was me that was actually being able to relate to the song,' she thought. 'Except '"No more date for me" would be "Go on a date with me!"'
Edgar> just say where and when!
-"Now THAT'S what real singing sounds like," Makoto explained. "Not sounding like Cher or Macy Gray with laryngitis. Now, Usagi, you try it." Makoto said, confident her friend would sound good this time.
Setzer> ::imitating Usagi:: ThE WhEeLs On ThE bUs Go RoUnD aNd RoUnD!
Terra> ::imitating Makato:: teaches me to have confidence in her.....
Music started up from a record player, the song Usagi had requested was rolling. She cleared her throat and sang, her voice coming out rich and beautiful, smooth as silk in time with the song, "Where do We Go From Here? (You and Me?)"
Edgar> Anywhere you want..... ::smiles::
-"Bravo, dudette!"
"Yuuchiro-sama, please leave. This is a girl thing," Rei said kindly, feigning ditziness, since Yuuchiro had thought that's what all girls-save Rei-chan-acted like. Yuuchiro shrugged and left the room.
-"Rei, I'm surprised your radio still works after Nurse Venus blew it up," Usagi said, grinning as she remembered the hell her and the other 3 had been through at the hands of "Nurse Venus" when they were infected with the flu. Minako blushed furiously.
Setzer> ::imitating Minako:: That was just as funny as the time Usagi got really drunk and started shouting Biffercilgump.
-"Will you please forget that? I bought her a new radio anyway," Minako said, laughing. "And that flu was a fake anyway, so-"
"From now on, if you wanna get it, you're only getting the real thing?" Rei said
Terra> ::Imitating rei :: Screw those imitation Diseases!
Setzer and Edgar> ::snicker::
-, laughing. She saw the others staring at her. "That wasn't supposed to be dirty! Honest!" Minako rolled her eyes.
"Growing up around that grandfather of yours, we can't be too sure."
"Did someone call me?" The budget Happousai asked. "Hey, welcome young lady," He said, motioning lewdly to Ami.
Setzer> ::imitating ami as Kasumi:: Oh dear me.... How exciting!
Rei grabbed his hand, spun around at a reasonable speed, and threw the old rag out the window.
Terra> ::imitating rei:: See what i did to the rag? You're next grandpa!
-"Honestly, I can't STAND him," Rei said, sighing in exasperation. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Now, about this new enemy...." Ami piped up.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about them.....what should we do?"
"The same thing we always do. Destroy their cronies, and after a while, just kick their asses or heal them. Whichever comes first," Makoto suggested.
Edgar> ::drools at makatos chest::
Terra> Echhi Baka! ::twacks him with ukyos spatula::
- "Either that or listen to some boring threat made by a bimbo with a chest as big as Cutey Honey's." Rei sighed and sat down.
"I don't know where to search for said bimbo with chest as big as Cutey Honey's," Rei said. "It's almost impossible, with all the people here in Tokyo."
"Besides, I don't think anyone would have a chest THAT big," Usagi stated
Setzer> ..... they should meet daryl. talk about bi--::makes lewd noises::
Terra> ::twacks him before he can finish::
-"Well, I had a dream and there was this evil senshi named Shineko, and, impossible as it may sound, she had more umm......skin, than Mai Shiranai." Minako said.
"Why are we talking about people's anatomy? We should be focusing on the enemy," Ami reminded them.
Setzer> why can't we talk about the female anatomy?
Edgar> ami drains all the fun out of a conversation....
-"Oh, right," Rei said, facevaulting.
"Well, I just say wait them out," Usagi said.
"No! Go for it!" Rei argued.
"Yeah, let's go for it!" Makoto agreed, pumping her fist in the air.
"Okay, it's agreed then. We-"
"Wait a goddamn minute," Minako interrupted Ami, her aquamarine eyes flashing angrily. "Sure, you listen to them, but I don't have a say?"
Setzer> Sure when she gets the saying right.
-"W-well, Minako-chan, if you have something to say, we'll listen. Gomen"
"Don't give me that shit," Minako said, her voice wavering angrily. "I don't know about you, but I'm sure none of you have a problem with a fucking serial killer chasing after you!"
All> o_O....
-"M-Minako...."
"Shut up! I'm not finished! You can drop this fucking sailor senshi business if you want, but I want a fucking normal life! I'm sure all of you do. And when we just get a chance, every time, a new enemy comes.....I-I just want it to stop," she finished, and broke
Edgar> ::imitating usagi:: Dammit! everytime she gets going she breaks!
-down sobbing. She turned away, shoulders heaving.
"I-I had no idea." Ami said softly.
"Well, now you know. Go on. Go on being senshi. I don't give a flying fuck," Minako said bitterly, wiping tears from her face. "If you have any sense and hope for a normal life, you'd quit."
Setzer> ::imitating Usagi:: yeah! Let's have a senshi strike!
-"Minako's right," Usagi said firmly. "I don't know about you, but I've only had hope for a normal life ever since we defeated Beryl and Metallia. And now I've got this friggin' psychic power on my hands, and that's getting on my nerves. If the others have any say in it, though, we'll never live to have normal lives...." Rei twined a strand of her sleek, raven hair around a finger.
Terra> ::imitating rei:: You know. I really gotta stop using raven hair for my weave.
-"You're right......but these enemies won't let us live like that. Gomen ne, but we need to fight again. For our normal lives!" The others nodded, Minako as well.
"Yeah! We've all tried to lead normal lives, we just sit on Earth minding our own business, and suddenly we're stuck with these powers, destinies, and fights we never asked for," Makoto added. Minako brushed the remaining tears from her eyes.
Edgar> ::Imitating usagi:: You guys are just jealous that you aren't the queen of a future kingdom.
-"You're right. But-I guess to get our normal lives back-we have to fight again." The others nodded gravely.

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