MST of the Squarsoft Senshi - Chapter one. Good Day Princess Aeris! - Anime - http://maxpages.com/johnsficpage/Chapter

In the not so distant future the evil kefka locked Edgar, Setzer, Rydia and Sabin in a space Satelite and were forcing them to watch wierd fanfics for his evil satisfaction.
This is thier story,
::the day begins like normal. Setzer beats Edgar in a card game. Sabin Stares at the control panel confused and Rydia sits back reading a book on magic::
Setzer> keep this up king boy and i'll have your whole kingdom when we breakout...
Edgar> Every day i wonder why i just didn't let him kill me...::sighs to himself::
Sabin> cause you wanted to make moves on Rydia....
Edgar> baka!!
::Edgar hits sabin on the head with a frying pan.::
Rydia>....... what was the point of that?.... that's the twentieth times he's said it in front of all of us.
Edgar> i dunno.....
Setzer> cool it you guys! we got the clown on screen.

::Down on his lab on the planet..... ::
Geshtal> ......are you sure this fanfic is bad enough?
Kefka> of course! all it is, is a parody. there is no real plot. but still it will be fun to see how they react.
::kefka laughs as he turn on the vid-screen to the Satelite.::
Kefka> hey returners. Ready for the ruthless torture test?
Edgar> no we DON'T want to see you naked!! again.......
Kefka>....... i mean a fanfic you moron.....
Edgar> oh..... ::anime sweatdrop::
Kefka> this Fanfic is by Two people working together. i think you'll LOVE it...... heh heh heh.
Gesthal> why would we give it to them if they love it?
All except gesthal> ::anime fall::
Kefka> umm.... Well! i'll just start it up!
::red sirens flash all over the satelite::
Edgar> it's starting!!!
::they all take of for the movie room as the camera pans in thrugh the metal door and the five beyond::
Door one = metal door slides up.
Door two = a wall of fire put out by sprinklers.
Door Three = a wall that the camera breaks down
Door four = a Metal door that opens up from the center.
Door five = a air lock that slides open.
Door six = the hatch that opens.

Rydia> why did i have to be the only smart one.....
Edgar> ...
Sabin> guys! the fanfics starting!

-Chapter 1
-Good Day, Princess Aeris!
Edgar> This author seems to like making fun of the girls...
Setzer> hey.... if terra is in this maybe you are too king boy!
Edgar> i haveta be the prince or something to my nature. ::says it confidently::
Setzer> you're probably someones pet pig....::whispers it to himself::
-Long ago, on the moon, there was a joyful, glee-filled, happy-go-lucky kingdom
Setzer> AHH! even the moon has Disney themeparks!!!! ::screams::
all> O_O.
- run by Queen Ifalna. But one day, the evil sorceress Ultimecia, from the future, got REALLY pissed at her daughter, and that wasn't really a good thing, for she had taken away her only true love.
Rydia> alas..... the moon kingdom had banned cheesburgers becuase of the princesses serious weight gain....
Setzer> ::imitating Ultimecia::> NO CHEESBURGERS?! all of you will die for taking my true love away!!
-The Moon Kingdom was screwed big-time.
Sabin> Aeris ate yellow snow?
Edgar> the queen double parked and lost her car?
Rydia> Aeris ate the silver crystal?
Setzer> Tifa gave Aeris a sugar tablet?
-Ultimecia unleashed an attack on the kingdom, and so our story begins.
All> ::facevault::
-Ifalna Gast looked around the ballroom for any sign of her daughter. "I gotta warn her that Tifa spiked the punch again," she thought, her eyes settling on a man with a spiky blonde hairdo.
Setzer> that lowers who it could be to about 50 people with the same hairdo.....
-"Cloud! Good evening!" She said cheerfully, fixing the barrette in her hair and brushing her short brown bangs out of her eyes. Cloud Strife set his wine glass down.
Edgar> ::imitating a drunken cloud:: sa ya relly the queen?
Setzer> ::imitating a waiter:: sir i think you've had enough wine....
Edgar> ::imitating a drunken cloud:: Shut up! i'll tell you when i had enugh!
-"Good evening Queen Ifalna," He replied, brushing his hair back and finding out he cut his hand on a hairpsike soon afterward. "Ouch! Have you seen Princess Aerith?"
Rydia> ::imitating Ifalna:: last time i saw her she was running around naked yelling that she was gonna dance.....
Setzer> ::imitating cloud:: at least she's not drunk......
-Ifalna nodded, motioning to the balcony. "Thanks." He walked off, and Ifalna turned back.
-"No Selphie, don't drink the punch!" She called to Selphie Tilmitt, who was dipping a ladle into the bowl.
Rydia> ::imitating a drunken selphie:: Whee! i luv punch..... anyone want ta dance?
::silence::
::still mimicking selphie:: I SAID WHO WANT'S TA DANCE?!
-***

-"This ball is quite nice, so lovely," Celes Chere said, looking around at the couples dancing. Quistis Trepe sipped her glass of wine, straightening her short hair, smoothing out her tuxedo.
Edgar> Yes! we are finally getting to the good parts!
-"Yeah, it is quite nice. Hey, Celes, wanna dance?" Quistis offered, holding out her hand. Celes accepted it. They looked around and saw Selphie stumbling around, giggling drunkenly.
sabin> ::imitating selphie:: i CAN dance! just tell the room to stop spinning!
-"Heheheheheheheheh, I'm gonna blow this place to smithereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeens! Moooooo!
Edgar> sabin could do that with a fart and a lighter....
Sabin> HEY!!
-Everybody at the ball inched away from her nervously at this. Daryl Givanni threw a ballet slipper at her
Setzer> ::imitating daryl:: there! now dance drunk one!
-which hit Selphie in the head. Everyone resumed dancing, congratulating Daryl as they passed by
Edgar> O_O that was supposed to hurt her?........
-Daryl tied Selphie up and dragged her into the laundry room,
Setzer> ::imitating daryl:: Now! i am gonna put you in the washer and you're gonna like it!
-where she chanced upon....
Edgar> a drunken aeris humpin the washer?
Setzer> the washer and dryer ploting to take over the world?
Rydia> the monster that eats all the socks when you put them in the dryer?
Sabin> celes and Quistis doing it?
::everyone looks at sabin::
Sabin> What?
Rydia> i am surounded by hentai bakas......
-"Those two go at it like rabbits," she thought dryly as she watched Celes and Quistis make out inside a dryer.
::everyone looks at sabin again::
Sabin> what?
-Just for fun she pressed the spin-dry button, setting it on 70 minutes. "There, now it's more fun," She thought, watching with amusement as they shouted obscenities at her.
Edgar> ::imitating quistis:: ahh i hate the spin-dry! i always come out too soft!
-"Daryl, when I get outta here- OW!" Celes yelled, hitting her head on the glass door. Rinoa Heartilly walked in, and doubled over laughing as she watched the two girls tumble around.
-"Daryl, did you do this?" Daryl nodded.
Edgar> ::imitating Rinoa:: Good daryl! :;tosses her a treat::
-"Good job!" Rinoa laughed, giving her a high five.
-"I'm gonna kick your ass for this!" Celes yelled, untangling her dress from her shoes.

***

-Terra Branford sighed and gazed up at the stars, sweeping her green ponytail over her shoulders.
-"When I close my eyes, I break down and cry, somethin bout the way I'm feelin' yeah," She sang, remembering a song by Shanice. "The thought of your kiss, my heart can't resist, it's all about the way you love me, yeah!" She turned around to see half the patrons staring at her.
Edgar> ::imitating patron:: can you dance too?
-A sweatdrop sliding down her head. "What? WHAT?!" A man coughed, and she thought she heard a cry of "WITCH!" from somewhere, but no one knew what that was about. She stuck out her tongue and headed for the laundry room to sing to herself.

***

-"Great, just what we need, an audience!" Quistis mumbled as she and Celes continued tumbling around in the dryer. Terra had come in and Daryl was charging 3,000 ¥ admission fee for people to watch.
Edgar, Sabin and Setzer> ::they look through thier pockets for 3000 yen::
Rydia> Hentai bakas....
-"Heheheheheh! This is sweet!" Terra exclaimed.

***
-Later that night.....
Edgar> ::imitating selphie:: Yoo hoo! i got a little suprise!
Setzer> ::imitating Ifalna:: Selphie! take my panties off of your head this instant!
-"Terra! Tifa! Celes! Quistis! Daryl! Rinoa! Selphie.....ah, Selphie, you sober yet?"
-"Yeah," came the mumbled reply.
Rydia> ::imitating selphie:: but umm.... cloud isn't......
Edgar> ::imitating aeris:: THAT BITCH!
-"Well wake the hell up! Aeris is in trouble!" Ifalna shouted.
-"Oh, bitch bitch bitch," Daryl grumbled, getting up and yawning.
-"She didn't.....ah, drink....the punch, did she?" Tifa asked.
Edgar> ::imitating Ifalna:: no. she had the vodka.
Rydia> ::imitating Tifa:: Whew..... that's a relife....
-"I should hope not," Ifalna and Selphie replied in unison. Tifa looked up to the sky.
-"What did I do, God?" She asked.
Edgar> ::acting like god:: you spiked the punch you nasty thing you....
-"Spiked the punch and gave me a helluva hangover," Selphie replied bitterly.
-"JUST TRANSFORM!" Ifalna yelled, blasting all the doors open with her powerful lungs. --"Celes, Quistis, for the love of God, put some clothes on!"
::Edgar, Setzer and Sabin all Develop nosebleeds and pass out::
-"Sorry!"
-"MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!"
-"MARS CRYSTAL POWER!"
-"JUPITER WONDERBRA-er, CRYSTAL POWER!"
Setzer> YES! finally someone who agrees with me!
-"Heeeey! VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!"
-"NEPTUNE CRYSTAL POWER!"
-"PLUTO CRYSTAL POWER!"
-"URANUS CRYSTAL POWER!"
Edgar, Sabin and Setzer> ::snicker::
-The other senshi and Ifalna snickered.
Edgar> it's scary when we do the same thing the author does....
Sabin> they say great minds thing alike....
Rydia> does that count for bakas too?
-"Oh, shut up!" Quistis said, straightening her fuku. "Celes, we'll do that later," She said to Celes, who was under her skirt. Celes pulled her head away and looked up.
Rydia> ::imitating celes:: dammit! i can't belive my ring is still in there! i NEED that ring!
-"Okay!"

***

-"Cloud, what are we gonna do?!" Aeris Gainsborough shrieked as the most horrible monster anyone had ever seen swiped at them.
Edgar> Ah! it's rydia in the morning!!!
-It was a giant pink fuzzy bunny with chibi character eyes that registered "kawaii overload." The cute fuzzy pink rabbit of death let out a roar- er, a rabbit's version of a roar at least
Rydia> ::imitating the rabbit about to do it's roar:: ROOOOO.........cheep.
Edgar> ::imitating cloud:: AHH!!!!!! ::drops sword and runs::
-It pounded on a giant drum hanging over it's shoulders, a logo imprinted on the side reading "Energizer batteries, they keep going and going and going...."
Setzer> much like this fanfic......
-"Oh no! It's gonna cute them to death!" Terra yelled, the moon gleaming off the blue jewel in her tiara. "SHABON SPRAY!!" Aeris let out a sigh.
Rydia> ::imitating terra:; and after it's bath i'm gonna style it's hair!
-"Oh, like THAT'S gonna help! What're you gonna do, Terra, give him a bath or something?!" The cute pink fuzzy bunny of death turned around and got soap in it's eyes.
"Aaaah!" A squeaky, cute cry escaped it's mouth, gnashing it's teeth. It pounded on the drum and happy little bluebirds perched on Terra's arms and head and began to chirp a happy tune.
Rydia> ::singing:: a spoon full of sugar.....
All the rest> don't start!
-"NOO! Help! Too friggin' cute!" Terra said. She began to strangle the bird on her head, and heaved it into the wall when it pooped in her hair. "Ugh!" She held a soap bubble delicately in her hands and began washing the crap out of her hair.
Rydia> is it possible the author is a bigger smart ass then we are?
Edgar> no way.....
-"SUPREME TIT-Er, THUNDER CRASH!" Daryl yelled, throwing a large ball of thunder at the cute monstrosity before her. It hit the batteries in the back, shorting them out.
Setzer> damn straight! go daryl! woooo hoo !!! ::cheers::
Edgar> he's losin it.....
-
"Well I'll be damned!" Quistis and Celes covered themselves up with their fukus, grabbing their discarded bras and panties.
"Uhh....Aeris! Ifalna! Destroy it now! It's too damn cute!" Celes called before going back down for another make-out session with Quistis. Aeris and Ifalna pulled out their silver crystals from Hammerspace.
All> hamburger space!
"DOUBLE MOON CHEESEBURGERS- Uh, CRISIS!" They shouted, light coming and crushing the cuteness, thankfully. Ifalna shook her head sadly.
"Now there's blood ALL over the courtyard!"
Edgar> ::imitating aeris:: sorry mom.... i'll stop torturing the hampsters.... i promise...
-"Sorry, 'Ma." They looked up to see Edgar Roni Figaro, Reno Sinclair, Tseng Okochi and Rufus ShinRa munching popcorn and guzzling sodas, watching Celes and Quistis.
::edgar is stunned speachless while the others laugh::
-"GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" Aeris and Ifalna shouted to Celes and Quistis. Daryl sighed.
-"You want a show boys? Tifa, if you will." Tifa Lockheart nodded and they both pulled their fuku tops up, causing the 4 men to develop nosebleeds and pass out.
::Setzer, Edgar and Sabin Develop nosebleeds and pass out::
-Aeris gazed at Tseng with stars in her eyes. Too bad for Aeris he was in ShinRa...er, I mean the Dark Moon Kingdom! (Stay steady 4th wall!) Ultimecia suddenly floated down, the ShinRa theme cuing up.
Edgar> ::taps the fourth wall and it falls:: musta not been very sturdy in the first place...
-"Ultimecia?! I thought we packaged you and sent you to the film festival on that undiscovered planet.." Ifalna said.
"The bitch is back!" Ultimecia cackled. "And believe me, I have an entire ARMY of sickeningly cute chibis! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Cloud glared at her and took out his sword.
Sabin> ::imitating aeris:: EWW! put that away cloud!
-"EUGH! Cloud, this is neither the time or place!" Aeris shrieked.
Edgar> o_O how do you DO that?!
Sabin> what?
-"Sorry! Wrong sword," Cloud replied, drawing Ultima Weapon from its scabbard. Celes and Quistis, back in their fukus, took a fighting stance. Before they did, Celes turned to Quistis, breathing heavily and sweating.
-"Was it good for you too?" She asked, smoothing out her hair.
Setzer> ::imitating Quistis:: i've had better.
-"It wasn't quite what I expected," Quistis replied, her face flushed, her fuku wrinkled. Ultimecia sent some overly kawaii puppies at them. One puppy grew fangs and started humping Terra's leg.
Rydia> ::imitating terra:: Dammit! I thought i sprayed myself with the horney dog repellent!
-"Why does the fauna always pick on me?!" She asked.
-"URANUS-"
::Edgar, Sabin and Setzer snicker::
-Ultimecia, the puppies, the senshi, Aeris, and Ifalna snickered. "SHUT UP! WORLD SHAKING!" The ground shook as a large yellow orb surrounded the puppies. They fell to the ground, with big "Hello kitty!" eyes. Ifalna sighed.
Rydia> yes.... definatly bakas.....
"Well, looks like there will be hell to clean up," She commented. She pulled out her silver crystal from Hammerspace again, as did Aeris.
"No, let us take care of it," Quistis said, shoving a hand down her panties and fumbling around for something.
Edgar> ::blinks several times::
Rydia> she's gonna beat a truckload of evil kawaii monsters with THAT?
-She pulled out the Space Sword, wiping it off before holding it high. The others sweatdropped and stared at her.
-"Does she....ALWAYS keep it there?" Ultimecia asked, disgusted.
Rydia> ::imitating quistis:: no. but no one liked the smell where i had it before....
-"SPACE SWORD BLASTER!" Quistis yelled, a big-ass beam splitting and striking all the disgustingly cute puppies. More blood sprayed over the palace.
-"DAMMIT QUISTIS!" Ifalna yelled. "Now I have blood all over my new silk dress!" Aeris shrugged, poured seltzer water over it, and the bloodstain immediately disappeared. -"Kickass!"
Edgar> are you sure this guy isn't a bigger smart ass than us?
-"YOU TWO GET A ROOM!" Ultimecia and the other senshi yelled at Quistis and Celes, who were once again going at it on the ground. The 4 Generals of the Moon Kingdom had long since disappeared, leaving Ultimecia to fend for herself. 7 giant kittens, the size of humans, formed. They had a shadowy complexion.
Rydia> ::imitating aeris:: HOW CUTE! MOM!!! can i have one?! can i mom?!
-"Seven shadows, get them!" Ultimecia commanded before jumping on the Lunar Taxi. "Cabby, to Lunatic Pandora and STEP ON IT!" The cabby stepped on the gas pedal, and ironically the engine exploded. Ultimecia immediately used a Holy Trial on herself, becoming immune to the chaos for a while. It faded as soon as she jumped out of the car.....
Edgar> sadly enough only to be hit by the truck going though the gaping holes in this plot...
-"Eh heh....how ironic," Ultimecia noted, a sweatdrop hanging over her head.
"DOUBLE MOON CRISIS!" Aeris and Ifalna said, a giant crystal sphere coming and enveloping Ultimecia. She was whisked away into a black hole.
Rydia> ::imitating ultimecia:: WHY DO I ALWAYS LOSE?! ::cries like usagi::
-"NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Ultimecia screamed as she was streched into thin ribbons. "I'll have my sweet revenge! I won't rest until I have every last ounce of energy in your bodies!"
Edgar> heh heh heh,
Rydia> HENTAI! ::smacks edgar::
-"Now do something about those kittens!" Quistis said, coming up for air before Celes pulled her head back down. Ifalna looked around, destruction raining down on her kingdom. Ultimecia was getting her revenge already.
-"Oh, shit!" Ifalna said, biting her fingernails. "I don't have insurance!"
Edgar> wow..... this guy is a smart ass... i hope kefka doesn't lock him up here.
-"MOM NO BAKA!" Aeris said. Ifalna looked at her.
-"Looks like we'll have to...."
Rydia> end the fic?
Edgar> get us off of this satelite?
Setzer> get me those "artistic" pics of Daryl?
-"Shatter the crystals..." Aeris finished sadly. Her family heirloom- well, the copy of it- was gone. "MOON CRISIS CRYSTALS SHATTER!" They yelled, holding up the silver crystals. The crystals floated in the air, joined as one, and shattered into 7 different colored shards, encasing the kittens and sending them to the black hole. The palace began to crumble around them.
-"Mom, we've gotta get outta here!" All possible means of exit crumbled to pieces, blocking their paths. "Well, THAT was sudden......" Ifalna looked at them.
-"I'll stay here." The two Guardian cats, Alfador and Katt Chuan, ran up to them from out of nowhere.
-"Ifalna, you can't!" Alfador said. "You're gonna kick the bucket if you do, buy the farm, CROAK!"
Sabin> Plus she'll die!
-"Plus you're gonna die!" Katt added. Alfador sweatdropped.
-"That's what I meant furbrain." Ifalna shook her head.
::everyone looks at sabin again::
-"I'll be okay. MOON CRYSTAL POWER!" She held up her wand, with a third silver crystal imbedded in it. Everyone stared. "It was on sale, okay?! They had loads of em!" Everyone on the moon, minus Ifalna, was encased in a bubble immediately, in a deep sleep. They had separate bubbles, except for Celes and Quistis, who had somehow managed to end up in the same bubble, Celes's head buried in Quistis's chest, "Those two never give up," Ifalna said before falling to the ground dead. The bubbles took a swift course for the Earth...

End chapter 1

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