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| Domonick's Christmas |
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Characters: Dominick, Hindu Neighbor, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Deli owner, Anton, Yolanda Vega, Christmas Tree Salesman, House Salesman, and Security Guard. [The setting is in a cardboard box on December 24, 1999. Dominick and his Hindu neighbor live In the South Bronx being poor. One day, later, on Christmas Day Dominick sees his lotto ticket He’s a winner and he goes and gets his winnings in Manhattan, and then he moves to Yonkers. He stays in Yonkers, and he meets The Rock and his long lost friend Anton in a Christmas Tree Store. He moves into his new house he bought on Christmas Day.] [Dominick and his Hindu neighbor are poor and they live in The South Bronx on a windy Christmas Eve.] Hindu Neighbor: Hey look I found a Dradle and I'm going to play with it. Dradle, Dradle, Dradle, I made you out of clay, HEY Dradle Dradle..... Dominick: Darn, wind! My box is falling. [pause] Stop playing with your Dradil neighbor, can't you see that it is windy out? Hindu Neighbor: Be quite show some respect. Dominick: O Happy Kwanzza. Hindu Neighbor: I'm not African I'm Hindu. Dominick: Who cares? Hindu Neighbor: I am being deported tomorrow, because I was fired from my taxi job so I care. Dominick: Well I bought a lotto ticket and I hope I will win the lotto. Hindu Neighbor: Well, why would I care? I'm being deported. Dominick: Oh sorry, you are going to have a horrible Christmas. [Wind continues to blow on Domonick's box.] Hindu Neighbor: Well good bye and good luck in the lotto and fixing your box. I'm going to bed. Dominick: okay, bye and thanks. [Dominick and his Hindu Neighbor go to sleep. The night passes, and it becomes the next day, Christmas day.] Dominick: Good morning neighbor. Huh, where did he go? [pause] Oh, he was deported I forgot. Well, I have to go to the deli to see if I won the lotto. [Dominick walks to the Deli. Dominick enters the Deli.] Deli Owner: Merry Christmas Dominick. Do you want some Ham? Dominick: No thank you. I want the winning lotto numbers of last nights game. Deli Owner: Ya ok. I herd that there was a winner but no one has claimed there prize, yet. Dominick: Ya, ya, ya, bla, bla, bla, just tell me the numbers. Deli Owner: Okay man, don't have a cow. Here are the winning lotto numbers, 1st is3, 2nd is 8, 3rd is 50, 4th is 20, 5th is 33, and the 6th is15. Dominick: Yes! Horray, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won!!!!!!!! Deli Owner: Good for you, now would you like to buy some cheese? Dominick: Nope. Bye. I'm getting myself some cash and some real food. Deli Owner: Are you sure you don't want some cheese? Dominick: I'm sure, bye, and have yourself a Merry Christmas! Deli Owner: I'm not having myself a Merry Christmas, I'm a Deli Owner working very hard in a deli on Christmas Day. All because of stupid welfare. Thank you come again! Dominick:[Happily] Bye. [Dominick leaves the deli and walks to the Lotto Building merrilly. A security guard is watching the Lotto building and Dominick walks up to him] Dominick: Yo, security guard I want you to let me in the building and guide me through. Security Guard: [Happily]Security guard, yes thats me! Dominick: Move aside I want to go into the building. Security Guard: [angry]Get lost you poor bum!!!!! Dominick: But I have the winning lotto ticket for last nights game. Security Guard: How could you afford a lotto ticket? You're poor!! But, if you insist I'll go get YoLanda Vega. Stay here you lucky bum. [Security guard goes into the building and gets Yolanda Vega. Three minutes later YoLanda Vega comes out with the security guard by her side.] Security Guard: Watch out Yolanda he's a poor bum! Yolanda Vega: Thanks for the warning, guard. Dominick: I'm Dominick. I have the winning lotto ticket. See, see, look, look, look at it! Yolanda Vega: It's probably bootleg, but let me see it any way.[Dominick gives the ticket to Yolanda Vega.]Wow, its a winner! Come with me Dominick. I will lead you into the building, give you the money, and a new car! [Yolanda Vega leads Dominick into the building, to a money vault.] Volanda Vega: Go open the vault security guard. Security Guard: Alrighty Then. [The security gaurd opens the vault, and gives 60 million dollars to Dominick.] Dominick: Gee, thank you, thank you! Horray, I'm not poor any more!! Well, thanks a lot, but I have things to do and people to see. Bye Yolanda Vega. Nice meeting you. Yolanda Vega: You too.[Yolanda Vega gives Dominick a car.] Take this Ferrari and be gone Dominick. Bye. [Dominick quickly runs out of the building happily. He gets into his new Ferrari and he drives off to Yonkers. He sees a house that he likes, and he sees the salesman putting up a sign. He gets out of the car and goes to the House salesman.] Dominick:Yo House Salesman, I want to buy that house. Here take the money and fill out all the forms for me. House Salesman: Ok. Here is the deed. This is a brand new house. No one lived here. I'll fill out the forms for you for some cash! Dominick: Ok. Here take it, and keep the change. Merry Christmas to you!! I'll be back soon, because I got things to do. Bye. House Salesman: Ok I guess. Bye. [Dominick goes back into his car and drives 2 miles to where they sell Christmas Trees. He gets out of the car and walks to the trees. Dominick finds the tree that he wants, and he goes to the tree salesman to purchase it.] Dominick: Excuse me. I would like to purchase this tree.[Dominick puchases the Christmas Tree.] Tree Salesman: Ok. Let me see. This tree is bootleg so its only $5. Dominick: Ok, I don't care. I like this tree. Here take the money. Keep the change and have a Merry Christmas. [As Dominick walks out of the place, he sees The Rock. As Dominick walks up to The Rock, a fruitcake appears.] Dominick: Look out, Great One! Stone Cold is coming! The Rock: I'm going to kick your monkey beep all over New York Stone Cold!!!!!!!!! Stone Cold: Bring it on. [The Rock and Stone Cold are both angry at each other, and they begin to fight. Stone Cold Steve Auston tries to get the Rock in the stunner, but the Rock counters into a Rock Bottom. Then he does the most electrifling move in sports entertainment.] Dominick: [Excitedly] Wow!!Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!!!! Tree Salesman: Yes, I have climbed the Rocky Mountains! The Rock: Good for you. [Loud] Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?? Tree Salesman: Yes, I smell potatos! The Rock: Be quiet you jabroni. Can't you see that the Great One is fighting? Tree Salesman: Oh sorry. Stone Cold: You're not the Great One, you're the Great Loser!! [Anton walks by. He sees all the commotion, and he walks over to take a look.] Anton: Do the Rock Bottom, Rocky. Stone Cold: Just try, you Great Looser. I'll kick your butt! Tree Salesman: Yes, I drink Budweiser! Anton: I drink Budweiser, too! Dominick: Huh, what is that, you, Anton? I haven't seen you in years! Anton: Huh, its Dominick! So you finally got some money. Good for you, Dom. Dominick: Ya, I won the lotto. I was wondering if you could come over for Christmas dinner? Anton: Ok, I guess I have nothing else to do. Dominick: Thanks. Anton: The Rock is the best. Stone Cold stinks. Dominick: The Rock is my idol. Anton: He's mine too. Tree Salesman: Yes I like the Rock too! The Rock: Bam!!!!!!!!!! Tree Salesman: Oh, he did the Rock Bottom! Dominick and Anton: Yes Rocky did the Rock Bottom!! Stone Cold:Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh the painnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm constipated!! [Stone Cold starts to die. Stone Cold is dead.] Tree Salesman, The Rock, Dominick, and Anton: Horray, Stone Cold is Dead!!!!!!! Dominick: Rocky, can you come over to my house tonight for dinner please!!!! The Rock: Ok. I'll bring a TV, so that the people's champ may spend time with his people! Let' go. Tree Salesman: Thank you come again! [Dominick, Anton, and the Rock all walk to Dominick's Ferrari. Dominick brings them to his house. Anton brought his food with him so that they could have a turkey for Christmas dinner. They arrive at Dominick's house, get out of the car and go into the house.] Dominick: Let's watch T.V. Anton: Let's watch this Christmas special. The Rock: Lets watch Mr. Bean's Chritmas its hilarious. Anton: Okay. [Dominick got some fire wood, and put it into the fireplace. He then lit a match on it, and the fireplace went on fire and it heated the house up.] Anton: Let's all eat dinner! The Rock: Let's say grace first. Dominick: [Pause] Grace!!!! [They all started eatting, and they had a very Merry Christmas watching Mr. Bean Christmas reruns.] |
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