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| Democrats |
| QUOTE OF THE YEAR "We've got to stop this foolishness." Representative Bob Clement......9-11-01 ___________________________________ QUOTE OF THE MONTH "I've heard Lamar Alexander was a good governor, but, heck I don't know. I was only eight years old." Representative Ford of Memphis.....April 2002 |
| Republicans |
| QUOTE OF THE YEAR "Holly Shit, Thompson Quit" Representative Ed Bryant, Chairperson Harwell, Former Lamar Alexander, and thousands of others.....March 2002 |
| URGENT LEGISLATIVE NEEDS AND ALERTS |
Dear Legislator: I have for many years known the evils of bread but remained silent. I am now greatly disturbed by recent developments in this thriving industry. It is now imperative that I speak out and stop the consumption of this product that is far more deadly than assault rifles, medium range missiles, and our municipal water supply. Why you might ask have I chosen this moment to speak out? It is obvious to all bread watchers that a new threat is being thrust upon us. The bread watcher’s minions tell of disturbing late breaking news from the bread industry. Talk on the street is that Sara Lee has put the idiot Jimmy Dean in charge of baking bread. Although she, Sara Lee, has succeeded in making Colonial Bread dang near inedible, one cannot bear the thought of Dean’s grainy voice touting the virtues of bread on TV and radio. Therefore and hence as well as whereas; I beseech you, each and every one of you, to speak out now and do it forcefully. We must stop the consumption of bread before it is too late for our country’s survival. I will furnish a certificate, suitable for framing, containing the following commandment: Do this for our children. With our education system in shambles there is no chance, without your help, of our children learning the danger of bread.Please help us save our children! Your Frequent Voter Friend, Jim Traveler 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. 6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cream cheese. 7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person. 8. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes. 10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. |
| Jim Supports Israelis |
Hi Jim I have just read and signed the online petition: "Stop European Union Money being used for Terrorist Acts against Israel" hosted on the web by PetitionOnline.com, the free online petition service, at: http://www.PetitionOnline.com/EUMoney/ Please add your name to the list Candy I have just signed the petition as Candy asked and urge you to do likewise. I am worried by the deference being given to the so called Palestinians by everyone. There are no Palestinians, only Arabs, there is no Palestine and has not been for hundreds and hundreds of years, if ever. I have visited the PLO camps in Lebanon and Syria. The PLO Arabs were and are rejected by their brother Arabs everywhere. Arafat's group of renegade Arabs were kept penned up by their brothers where ever possible. Now, instead of taking them into their own countries, the Arabs want to foist them off on Israel. I ask you, Why? Once upon a time in a casino, the Barracuda Club in London, I and my associates met with a small group of PLO leaders, including a close associate of Arafat. After that meeting I new what they were and are. I must admit I was not upset when I read of them being involved in a fatal accident while on their way to Libya. At some point we, as a nation, must put principle before Arab oil and national security before the muskrats and fuzzy worms in Alaska and elsewhere. Most of you do not like to look at my pictures and don't want to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities; neither do I but it is just a matter of time until some unoffended, delicate little jerk sits his ass down next to you or me and blows his and your or my ass into the next world. We will feel good we had not offended him or her. Personally I would prefer the dreaded killer "Natural Causes" over "blown up". Have a nice day. Jim Winfree This message was scanned for evil things before being sent to you as was the URL for the petition. |
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