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| Like Fries With That? |
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| This is not meant to offend any group in particular. If you can't handle good and funny comedy or you are a teeny bopper and can't take a joke, please proceed to another page, site, or take any action to avoid this page or other page(s) in the future. Thank you. Contains adult language. You have been warned. Picture a really ghetto McDonalds in the suburbs of Orlando. A customer walks in and walks up to the counter where Chris is working. Chris: Welcome to McDonalds Customer #1: I'd like a number five. Chris: That'll be $4.82. Customer #1: It's Monday. Chris: (sarcastically) Very good. Customer #1: (irritated) aren't the nuggets .89 cents? Chris: Yes. Customer #1: So why is the meal so much. Chris: The nuggets are .89 cents, not the meal. Customer #1: (Even more irritated) Okay. I want a six piece chicken Mcnuggets, medium fries, and a medium sprite. Chris: (Looks at the customer blankly) We can't do that. Customer #1:Why not? Chris: You ordered a number five, you have to get a number five. Customer #1: Can I speak to your manager. Chris: Now a days everyone wanna talk, like they got something to say... Customer #1: Is something wrong with you! I wanna speak to your manager! Chris: JC! JC walks over to the register carrying a spatula. JC: What is it!? Customer #1: This young man told me I had to buy a number five, that I couldn't do it separately. Chris: Young man? I'm old enough to be your grandpa! JC: Well, "grandpa" what did I tell you? Chris: How the hell should I know? You do so much crack, most of what you say is gibberish. JC: (smacks Chris in the head with his spatula) Don't play with me Chris. Dammit what did I say? Chris: Ow, Bitch. You said the customer is always right. JC: (raises his spatula in threat) What did you call me? Chris: Nothing. JC: That's what I thought. (Satisfied, JC starts to walk off). Chris: (mumbles) Stupid crackhead. JC: I heard that! (Starts to beat Chris repeatedly with the spatula). Chris: I didn't say anything, I swear JC. You made my false teeth come out again.(Chris grabs his teeth and wobbles to the sink to clean them) Meanwhile, at the drive-thru... Justin: Welcome to Micky D's yo, what you want foo'? Customer #2: Huh? Justin: Foo, what you want? Customer #2: I can't understand you. Do...You...Speak...English? Justin: Yo, is you gonna order or do I gotta come out der and bust a cap in yo ass? Customer #2: (frightened) I would like a Big Mac. Justin: We outta dat. Customer #2: Okay, how about a Cajun McChicken. Justin: we ain't got dat. Customer #2: Fries? Justin: Ain't got dat. Customer #2: Can I talk to your manager? Justin: (laughs) We ain't got one of those either. The customer gets out of his car and goes inside demanding to talk to JC. JC: Justin! Justin: What up dawg? JC: Did you tell this customer we were out of everything? Justin: Chill G, I was just playin' JC: Play on your own time. (Smacks Justin with his spatula) Justin: Dawg, what was dat for? Da ladies don't be likin' bruises. JC: You should of thought about that before you started acting like an idiot. (Smacks Justin again) Justin: Yo dawg, aight, I get it. JC: Good. ( Smacks Justin) I am not your "dawg". JC walks off and goes to see how Lance is doing. JC: Lance are you almost done cleaning the toilets? Lance: JC please let me stop. This is ruining my manicure. JC: Maybe next time I ask you why you screwed up on something you won't say "cuz I'm from mississippi" Lance: But I'm from- JC: Say it and I'll beat you with the spatula. Lance: Not the spatula. Don't hit me JC, I'll get you some free makeup. (JC hits Lance and Lance begins to cry). What was that for? You know I bruise easily. JC: For being such a girl. Lance: It's because I'm from Mississippi. JC: (repeatedly beats Lance between each word) I never want to hear you say Mississippi again. Lance: But they need me. JC: No more Mississippi, do you understand? (Lance just looks at JC with tears in his eyes) DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! (JC raises his spatula) Lance: Yes! Please don't beat me JC. Satisfied JC leaves Lance crying on the floor in the bathroom. Justin: Yo, JC dawg, he done it again. JC: Who did what? Stop talking like that. Justin: Dis is how we be talkin in da hood. JC: You're not from "da hood" you grew up in a tralior park in Tennessee. Justin: Yo, dawg, whatever. Joey ate all the fries again. JC leaves to find Joey. He finds no fries and Joey stuffing his face with burgers. JC: Joey! Joey: I didn't do it! JC: Where are all the fries? Joey: We sold them JC: I don't think your stomach could afford all those fries. What did I tell you about eating on the job? Joey: I didn't know you meant food I thought you meant pus- JC: Shut-up Joey. Joey: please don't beat me with the spatula. JC: (thinks about it) It wouldn't hurt you anyway because you're so fat, so I won't. Joey: Thank you JC. (Gives him a big hug) JC: But you have to go sweep up outside. Joey: No, not that. Everytime I do that people make fun of me. This little boy asked me if I rode the little bus to school. JC: You did ride the little bus. Now Go! Joey leaves sadly and JC starts to look for his spatula, which he can't find. As he's looking he feels a smack on his ass. Chris: Bastard, now you know how it feels. JC: Dammit Chris, give me my spatula. Justin: Yo dawg, we ain't givin' you yo spatula cuz we don't wanna be beat no more. JC: That's it! Your all fired! Chris: I'm free. Look out Ethel here I come! Chris, Justin and Lance run to their freedom, collecting Joey on their way out. JC is left to do all the work on his own. |
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