BSB in "Anaconda 2: It Wasn't Really Dead" - By: *not me (edited) - Music

*I just found out some copied this story, c'mon people. Don't we have enough courtesy not to copy things that don't belong to you!! Oh well, I thought I could trust you guys, but I guess I can't.

This is not meant to offend any group in particular. If you can't handle good and funny comedy or you are a teeny bopper and can't take a joke, please proceed to another page, site, or take any action to avoid this page or other page(s) in the future. Thank you.

Not written by me~doesn't mean you should take it.

*The BSB are in a boat*

AJ: Can it get any hotter? Whose stupid idea was this?
Howie: Don't look at me, I can never do anything wrong, cos I'm a
Catholic
and I got my business degree last year...
Brian: Like that's gonna help us now. I think I will go for a swim
Kevin: *Scowls* don't do that, there might be piranas in there..
Brian: Oh. Right.
*Nick comes up from the cabin, and Brian turns to him*
Brian: Yo, Nick..wanna go for a swim?
Nick: Oh sure, anything to show off my beautiful chest! *Jumps in the
water*
AJ: Dude, that was cruel
Brian: Shut the beep up you tattooed freakazoid
AJ: Like you can talk- you got one too!
*Nick surfaces. From behind him a large scaly green head surfaces too*
Kevin: DUDE! Look at the size of dat snake!!!
AJ: *Smirks* dat's wot yo' mama said when I ****ed her
Kevin:.......
Nick: What's the matter guys?
*Howie faints with a girlie scream*
Brian: Whatever you do, man- don't turn around, 'kay????
Kevin: Get onto the boat get onto the boat NOW!
Nick: Hey, since when did you become the boss of me? Just cos I'm the
cutest! And anyways, I'm eighteen- I can have sex now.
AJ: Duh, you dipshit, the legal age for sex is 16
Brian: *smirks* Or if you're AJ it was 13
AJ: You wanna be starting somethin'?
Nick: Uh, guys...
Kevin: Oh yeah. Whatever you do, man- don't turn around, 'kay????
Nick: You already said that.
*The snake hisses impatiently*
Brian: Grab my hand!
*Nick reaches out and manages to scramble onto the boat, but the snake
bites
him in the bum*
Nick: AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH! Guys, it bit me!!!
AJ: I ain't sucking the poison!
*Howie wakes up with a start* Did somebody say 'suck'?
Kevin: Shut up, homo
Howie: Hey, I don't care who you are, where you're from, who you did...
AJ: It's 'what you did', ****wit.
Howie: It is????????? Why didn't you guys tell me???
Brian: cos we don't like you.
Howie: B-b-but that's not what you said last night, Brian....
Brian: Well, I told Nick that too, I just have a habit of lying to get
what
I want.
AJ: **** this, I'm gonna go and watch European porno vids.
*Leaves*
Nick: *holding his butt* AAARRGGGHHHH, my butt...it hurts, it hurts...
Kevin: So what do we do now?
Brian: More importantly..where did the snake go?
*Just then they hear AJ's loud screams from the cabin*
Howie: Omigod, the snake's got AJ!!!
AJ: *Pops his head up from the cabin door* Uh...no. Don't ask. No
snake...as
such....
*The snake's head pops up from the side of the boat. Howie runs screaming
and hides behind Kevin, singing the Teletubbies theme song repeatedly*
Brian: We gotta stop this once and for all...
Nick: If we don't there won't be a sequel and we won't be in it....I
think
we should just let it eat one of us and then it won't be hungry.
*Kevin pushes Howie towards it and the snake devours him with complete
satisfaction*
Howie:
Aaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhh.........nooooooooo............oh...........GOD!!!!
Kevin: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAFTA TELL YOU NOT TO TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN
VAIN????????????????
Brian: Deal, man, he's allowed to- he's being eaten alive.
Howie: *From within the snakes stomach* Don't remind me.
Brian: Sorry...
Howie: Brian...do me one last favour before I die...please my darling...
Brian: Uh...anything...
Howie: Please...tell....tell Nsync that I love them!!!!!
Kevin: *hides a look of amusement*
Brian: Yo Kev, you can do wotcha like now that he can't see you.
*Kevin moons the snake, so the snake eats Kevin*
AJ: At last, our fifth wheel is gone!
Nick: Heyyy...is'nt anyone gonna mention how cute I am in this scene?
Brian: OK, you're lookin' very cute in this scene, Nick
Nick: I know.
*The snake lets out a huge burp, regurgitating Kevin, who is slimy but
still
alive*
AJ: beep!!!! Somebody ****in' shoot him! Quick!!!
Nick: The snake?
AJ: No- Kevin- we wanna be a threesome now!
Howie: *still alive inside the snake* Did somebody say 'threesome'?
All: Shut UP!!!
Kevin: Ugh.
Nick: *brandishing a shotgun* I'm sorry, Kevin- you're just getting too
old...you need to be replaced.
Kevin: *Staring down the barrel* Nick...there's something I hafta tell
you..don't listen to them, it wasn't me that they wanted to replace...it
was...you.
Nick: LIAR!!!
Kevin: It's the truth. They wanted to replace you with Justin from Nsync
cos
he was way cuter.
Howie: *Still inside the snake* Did you say 'Nsync'?
All: SHUT UP!!!
*Nick drops the gun*
Kevin: Thank you.
*Just then the snake throws Howie up. He gasps for breath and runs to
Brian*
Howie: Oh my love, re-united at last!!!
AJ: Oh brother.
Brian: Get up! Howie you're all slimy.
Kevin: *grabs the gun and fires at the snake who gratefully dies after
all
the rich food he had been eating all afternoon*
AJ: ****, my plans to go solo and ditch you homos has backfired!
Howie: *gropes Brian* let's face it, we all belong together *winks*
forever
*gropes Brian again*
AJ: But what am I gonna tell...wot's her name again????
Kevin: Kara? Tara?
Brian: Angie?
Howie: Sarah??
Nick: Howie?
Howie: *scowls* veery funny.
Nick: hey, I'm cute, I can do that and get away with it.
Kevin: OK, so what now???
*Celine Dion pops up from the water and starts singing that horrible song
from that horrible movie which made a horrible amount of money as the
boat
slowly descends to the bottom of the river*
Howie: Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian: I'll never let go Howie...I'll never let go!!!

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

Visitors: 03175

Page Updated Sat Jul 20, 2002 4:00pm EDT