Wacky Products - http://maxpages.com/ism/yo_momma_jokes

© Copyright 1999

Yo’mamma armpits so hairy looks like she got Buckweat in a headlock.
Yo’mamma house so small her washclock makes wall-to-wall carpeting.
Yo’mamma like Betty Crocker icing: Always ready to spread.
Yo’mamma like Chinese food: Sweet sour and cheap.
Yo’mamma like Crazy Eddie: She’s practically giving it all away.
Yo’mamma like a 7-11. On every corner and always open.
Yo’mamma like a 7-UP. Never had it never will.
Yo’mamma like a Christmas tree: Everybody hangs balls on her.
Yo’mamma like a Denny’s: Open 24 Hours.
Yo’mamma like a Toyota: “Oh what a feelin’!”
Yo’mamma like a birthday cake: Everybody gets a piece.
Yo’mamma like a bowling ball: YOu can fit three giners in.
Yo’mamma like a bubble gum machine: 25 cents a blow.
Yo’mamma like a bus: Fifty cents and she’s ready to ride.
Yo’mamma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo’mamma like a catsup bottle: Everyone gets a squeeze out of her.
Yo’mamma like a door knob: Everybodyu gets a turn.
Yo’mamma like a goalie: Changes pads after three periods.
Yo’mamma like a golf course: Everyone gets a hole in one.
Yo’mamma like a race car: She’s always burning rubber.
Yo’mamma like a railroad track: Gets laid all over the country.
Yo’mamma like a refrigerator: Everyone puts their meat in.
Yo’mamma like a revolving door: Everyone gets a turn.
Yo’mamma like a screen door: After a couple of bangs she loosens up.
Yo’mamma like a shotgun: Giver her a cock and she blows.
Yo’mamma like a smokehouse: Always full of meat.
Yo’mamma like a stamp: Lick her and stick her and send her away.
Yo’mamma like a stop sign: She’s on every corner.
Yo’mamma like a vacuum cleaner: A real good suck.
Yo’mamma like a video game: Four men for a dollar.
Yo’mamma like an Orange Crush: “Good Vibrations.”
Yo’mamma like an ice cream cone: Everyone gets a lick.
Yo’mamma like mustard: She spreads easy.
Yo’mamma like potato chips: Fri-to-Lay.
Yo’mamma like the Pillsubry doughboy: Everyone gets a poke.
Yo’mamma like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man: Everybody gets a piece.
Yo’mamma like pubic hair is so nappy the crabs ride dune buggies.
Yo’mamma like pussy so dry the craps carry canteens.
Yo’mamma is so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Yo’mamma is so fat I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in!
Yo’mamma is so fat I had to walk around her and got lost.
Yo’mamma is so fat I took her to a dance and the band skipped.
Yo’mamma is so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo’mamma is so fat McDonalds has to change their sign every time she
eats.
Yo’mamma is so fat NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
Yo’mamma is so fat after sex she smokes a turkey.
Yo’mamma is so fat at the zoo the elephants started throwing h er
peanuts.
Yo’mamma is so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction.
Yo’mamma is so fat even her clothes have stretch marks.
Yo’mamma is so fat everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil.
Yo’mamma is so fat her big toe got stuck in the catflap.
Yo’mamma is so fat her blood type is Ragu.
Yo’mamma is so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.
Yo’mamma is so fat her butt looks like two pigs fighting over Milkduds.
Yo’mamma is so fat her doctor’s a grounds keeper.
Yo’mamma is so fat her high school picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo’mamma is so fat her legs are like spoiled mile - White and Chunky.
Yo’mamma is so fat her nickname is “DAMN!”
Yo’mamma is so fat her picture fell off the wall.
Yo’mamma is so fat her tits are in two different tiem zones.
Yo’mamma is so fat her toes bleed when she walks.
Yo’mamma is so fat if she weighed five more pounds she’d get group
insurance.
Yo’mamma is so fat if she’d died you’d have to take her out in two
trips.
Yo’mamma is so fat it say on her driver’s license Picture continued on
back.
Yo’mamma is so fat it takes a forklift to help her stand up.
Yo’mamma is so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
Yo’mamma is so fat light gets stuck near her.
Yo’mamma is so fat mosquitoes see her and scream buffet.
Yo’mamma is so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo’mamma is so fat people use her dandruff as quilts.
Yo’mamma is so fat sets off car alarms when she rus.
Yo’mamma is so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out.
Yo’mamma is so fat can smell bacon frying in Canada!
Yo’mamma is so fat she can use Mt. Everest for a dildo.
Yo’mamma is so fat she can’t reach her back pocket.
Yo’mamma is so fat she don’t have cellulite she’s got cellu-heavy.
Yo’mamma is so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo’mamma is so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon.
Yo’mamma is so fat she fell in love and brok it.
Yo’mamma is so fat she gets stuck in her dreams.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got a run in her blue jeans.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got her baby pictures taken by satellite.
Yo’mamma is so fat she hit by a parked car.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got hit by a truck and asked Who threw that rock?
Yo’mamma is so fat she to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo’mamma is so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
Yo’mamma is so fat she had stech marks when she was a virgin.
Yo’mamma is so fat she had to get out of bed to roll over.
Yo’mamma is so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has a part-time job as a trampoline.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for condors.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has her own area code.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has her own gravity.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has more rolls than a Mary Jane Truck.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has shocks on her toilet seat.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has to go outsie to put on deodorant.
Yo’mamma is so fat she to go outside to sit around the house.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has to lay down to tie her shoe.
Yo’mamma is so fat she has to use hool-hoops to hold her socks up.
Yo’mamma is so fat she hides her goiter with her chin.
Yo’mamma is so fat she influences the tides.
Yo’mamma is so fat she irons her clothes in the driveway.
Yo’mamma is so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo’mamma is so fat she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
Yo’mamma is so fat she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagen.
Yo’mamma is so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo’mamma is so fat she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.
Yo’mamma is so fat she roller over 4 quarter and made it a dollar.
Yo’mamma is so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo’mamma is so fat she she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.
Yo’mamma is so fat she shows up on radars.
Yo’mamma is so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo’mamma is so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made skidmarks.
Yo’mamma is so fat she steps on a scale and it says one at a time
please.
Yo’mamma is so fat she takes baths in swimming pools.
Yo’mamma is so fat she thinks Church’s Chicken’s a holy place.
Yo’mamma is so fat she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand.
Yo’mamma is so fat she thought gravy was a beverage.
Yo’mamma is so fat she uses a VCR as a beeper.
Yo’mamma is so fat she uses a mattress as a maxi-pad.
Yo’mamma is so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo’mamma is so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.
Yo’mamma is so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
Yo’mamma is so fat she uses the freeway as a slim n’ slide.
Yo’mamma is so fat she wakes up in sections.
Yo’mamma is so fat she was Miss Arizona -- Class Battleship.
Yo’mamma is so fat she was zoned for commercial development.
Yo’mamma is so fat she wears a microwave for a beeper.
Yo’mamma is so fat she wears two watches because she’s in two tiem
zones.
Yo’mamma is so fat she went to teh beach and sold shade.
Yo’mamma is so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo’mamma is so fat she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
Yo’mamma is so fat she won Miss Bessie the Cow of the year.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got Amtrak written on your leg.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got her own post code.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got her own zip code.
Yo’mamma is so fat she got more chins that a Hong Kong phone book.
Yo’mamma is so fat she is on both sides of the family.
Yo’mamma is so fat she sits on coal and farts out a diamond.
Yo’mamma is so fat she works in the movies -- As the screen.
Yo’mamma is so fat the AIDs quilt wouldn’t cover her.
Yo’mamma is so fat the airline charges her round trip for each flight.
Yo’mamma is so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo’mamma is so fat the highway partol made her war Caution, Wide Turn.
Yo’mamma is so fat they have to grease the bath tup to get her out.
Yo’mamma is so fat they invented super extra strenth ulra SlimFast.
Yo’mamma is so fat they mistake her for a country.
Yo’mamma is so fat to her light food means under four tons.
Yo’mamma is so fat to lose a few pounds she takes off her girdle.
Yo’mamma is so fat when I got on top of her my ears popped.
Yo’mamma is so fat when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it
up.
Yo’mamma is so fat when her beeper goes off people think she is backing
up.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight down to hell.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she falls it measures on the Richter scale.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she fell in love she broke it.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she goes to parties people scream Kool-aid!
Yo’mamma is so fat when she has sex she has to give directions.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she has to haul ass it takes two trips.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she moons people they turn into Werewolves.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she puts her foot down she clears rain forests.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she sings, it’s over.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she sweats everyone around her wears raincoats.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave. and landed on 12th.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she turns around it’s her birthday.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she turns arojnd they throw her a welcome-back
party
. Yo’mamma is so fat when she walks in high heels she strikes oil.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she walks she leaves snail tracks.
Yo’mamma is so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say “Taxi!”
Yo’mamma is so fat when she wears her X Jacket helicopers try to land on
her
. Yo’mamma is so fat when she wears red all the kids scream Koolaid.
Yo’mamma is so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop.
Yo’mamma is so fat when you put her in a Jacuzzi she makes her own
gravy.
Yo’mamma is so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
Yo’mamma is so fat you cant slap her thighs and ride the waves in.
Yo’mamma is so fat you can’t tell if she is coming or going.
Yo’mamma is so fat you couldn’t tell where her boobs end and her arms
begin.
Yo’mamma is so fat you gotta slam her thigh and ride the wave on in.
Yo’mamma is so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.
Yo’mamma is so fat your family portrait has stretch marks.
Yo’mamma is so nasty when your addy ate her pussy he got food poisoning.
Yo’mamma is so poor she was kickin a can, and said she was ‘movin’.
Yo’mamma is so old she owes Jesus a quarter.
Yo’mamma is so short she trips on spit.
Yo’mamma is so small she gotta hang glide on a Dorito.
Yo’mamma is so stinky she can knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.
Yo’mamma is so stinky she make Right Guard turn left.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she got in the bathtub and looked for the steering
wheel
Yo’mamma is so stupid I saw her standing on an empty bus.
Yo’mamma is so stupid her brain cells are on the endangered species
list.
Yo’mamma is so stupid her brain cells die alone.
Yo’mamma is so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo’mamma is so stupid it takes her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.
Yo’mamma is so stupid it takes her a half hour to cook minute rice.
Yo’mamma is so stupid it takes her a month to get rid of the 7 day itct.
Yo’mamma is so stupid it takes her a week to get rid of a 24 hour virus.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she asked for a price check at the $1.00 store.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she asked for help to use hamburger helper.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she asked you what is the number for 911.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she called a 7-11 to ask when they closed.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she called the cocaine hotline to order some.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she couldn’t read an audio book.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she gets lost in thought.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she got hit by a cup and told cops she got mugged.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she got locked in Food Mart and half starved.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she got stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside sho she gets a bowl.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she returned a puzzle complaining it was broken.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she sat on a windown ledge thinking she’d get
framed.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she saw a sign that said Wet Floor so she did.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought Fleetwood Mac was a ne whamburger at
McDon.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought Johnny cash was a pay toilet.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought Lionel Riche was a kid with trains.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought O.J. Simpson was some kind of fruit
juice.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought Taco Bell was where to pay a phone
bill.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought a hot meal is stolen food.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought a quarterback was change.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought gangrene was another gold course.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought innuedo was an Italian suppository.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought manual labor was a Mexican.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the stereo.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on sould
Train.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought socialism means partying.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she thought softball was a venereal disease.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she took a job cutting grass offshore.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she took a shower and got brain-washed.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide and jumped off the
curb.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she tried to hang herself with a cordless phone.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in Alphabetical order.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she watches the Three Stooges and takes notes.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she went swimming to a car pool.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she went to Dodger stadium and drowned in the
Waves.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo’mamma is so stupid she wrote M,F Sometimes Wed, under ‘sex?’
Yo’mamma is so stupid she saw a sign that said Wet Floor so she did.
Yo’mamma is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo’mamma is so ugly I wouldn’t fuck her with a stolen dick.
Yo’mamma is so ugly I’ve seen cow pies I’d rather do it with.
Yo’mamma is so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her.
Yo’mamma is so ugly a fly wouldn’t sit on her.
Yo’mamma is so ugly even rice krispies won’t talk to her!
Yo’mamma is so ugly her dentist teats her by mail.
Yo’mamma is so ugly her doctor is a veterinarian.
Yo’mamma is so ugly her face is closed on weekends.
Yo’mamma is so ugly her face is like a melted willy.
Yo’mamma is so ugly her momma had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo’mamma is so ugly her nickname is Damn!
Yo’mamma is so ugly her vibrator turned limp.
Yo’mamma is so ugly if she joined an ugly contest they’d say sorry no.
Yo’mamma is so ugly if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects.
Yo’mamma is so ugly it looks like she sleeps on a bed of nails face
down.
Yo’mamma is so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she can turn Madusa to stone.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could curdle urine.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could gag a maggot on a gutwagon.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could make a freight tain take a gravel road.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could scare a dog off a meat truck.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could scare a hungry wold off a meat truck.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she had a face that would sink a thousands ships.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breast feed it.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she has to sneak up on a cup of water.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she has to sneak up on a hurricane to catch a
breeze.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she has to sneak up on her mirror.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a
scarecrow.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she just got a job at the airport sniffing for
drugs.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she looks like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she looks like she’s been bobbing for French Fries.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she looks like the elephant man chewing on a wasp.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for
mooning.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she makes my ass pucker.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she makes onions cry.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she practices birth control by leaving the lights
on.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she puts on ehr makeup in the dark.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she walked past a mirror and it exploded.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she won’t even play with herself.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she wore a pork chop to get the dog to play with
her.
Yo’mamma is so ugly she is the cover girl for iodine.
Yo’mamma is so ugly that when she looks at a glass of milt it turns to
cheese.
Yo’mamma is so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
Yo’mamma is so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo’mamma is so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
Yo’mamma is so ugly the tide won’t even take her out.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they only allowed her feet in the freak show.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in stip joints.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla
cookies.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they put her in dough and make monster cookies.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they three her away and kept the afterbirth.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they turn off the cameras when she walks into a
bank.
Yo’mamma is so ugly they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

~mailto:psyco8899@aol.com,avalanchaa@aol.com

Visitors: 01626

Page Updated Tue Nov 23, 1999 6:51pm EST