Troma Films - A - O - Sports - http://maxpages.com/inyourhouse/TROMA

Here is a soon-to-be complete list of Troma Movies A-O and a review personally done by me !

"Beware: Children At Play" (1995, Mick Cribben)
2 out of 10 stars
Ask any Troma fan what the most messed up film in the Troma library is and you will hear one of three answers. You'll either hear "Bloodsucking Freaks", "Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy", or this steaming piece of crap. Not really scary, but more-so disturbing. The only moment in this film that doesn't suck is the last 10 minutes because the kids are such bad actors that the parents-killing-their-evil-children scene is so crappy , its hilarious ! But, never-the-less, skip this.

"Blondes Have More Guns" (1995, George Merriweather)
8 out of 10 stars
One of the most underrated films in the Troma library! Imagine "the Naked Gun", "UHF", and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit video mixed ! I loved this film and I own it ! The only downside is that you need to watch this film really really carefully to catch all of the jokes (like a woman with an identical twin step-sister). I'm not going to talk too much about the film because I don't want to spoil it. So what? She loves you, yea yea yea.

"Blood Hook" (1986, James Mallon)
7 out of 10 stars
Yes, the director of Mystery Science Theator 3000 did this film. A pretty good (and inteligent) horror-comedy with a lame ending. Its still worth checking out though. Some of the best acting in all of Troma's films ! Anyway , its about this guy who goes crazy whenever he hears (are you ready for this) NEW WAVE MUSIC ! Anyway , so he casts his line and reels in whoever he catches on his poll.

"Bloodsucking Freaks" (1975, Joel M. Reed)
8 out of 10 stars
At first viewing, this film is really really disturbing. How disturbing you say? How about midgit-getting-oral-from-a-decapitated-head disturbing. But the second time you see it, you realize that its a comedy ! I reccomend this film to Troma fans with a strong stomach. Watch it twice and only settle for the director's cut.

"Bugged" (1996, Ronald K. Armstrong)
6 out of 10 plastic stars
Some dumb exterminators mix up their exterminating chemicals and spray an odd chemical that turn these big disgusting bugs into REALLY big disgusting bugs. Its one of those its-so-bad-its-good movies with some great one-liners as well as a great cast! I think Lloyd Kaufman put it best when he said "Priscilla Basque is a fine foxy mama!". Also, sometimes the its-so-bad-its-good tag goes too far when the bugs start looking like action figures.
Worth seeing if everything else is checked out.

"Buttcrack" (1998, Jim Larson)
10 out of 10 stars !
Portly Wade Jenkins has a problem. His problem is bothering his room-mate,his friends, and his neighbors. His problem is his ENORMUS BUTTCRACK ! When his room-mate accidently kills him, his gothic sister thinks it wasn't an accident. So when she brings Wade back to get his revenge, he has to keep dieing, and dieing, and dieing. Its up to Mojo Nixon as Preacher Man Bob to set things right. A must see for every Troma fan ! If you're looking for a great time, say YES to crack !

"The Canadian Ballet"(1998, Paul Borguse)
4 out of 10 stars
You know, its almost funny, how could a documentary on strippers be so dull and boring ?

"Cannibal: The Musical" (1996, Trey Parker)
10 out of 10 stars !
I don't even want to tell you the plot in fear it will give away the movie. You absoulutly have to see it !

"Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town" (1989, Dan Hoskins)
7 out of 10 stars
A female motorcycle gang called the Cycle Sluts cruise a desert town looking for afew good men, and find a town full of flesh eating zombies! Stared Martha Quinn, Don Calfa, and Billy Bob Thornton. One of Troma's more mainstream films, worth seeing if nothing else is at the video store.

"The Chosen One: Legend Of The Raven" (1996, Lawrence Lanoff)
6 out of 10 stars
Some slow parts, alot of hot chicks, alot of action, and CARMEN ELECTRA ! The preview is on most recent Troma films and if you enjoyed the preview, see the movie. If you want to see hot chicks, see the movie. But if you want a more Toxic Avenger-like movie, see Decampitated.

"Class Of Nuke 'Em High" (1986, Richard W. Haines, Lloyd Kaufman)
8 out of 10 stars
A classic Troma film about the three R's. Readin', Writin', and Radiation ! When a nearby powerplant toxifies a high school strange things happen. The honors society turn into weed-selling punks, the water supply goes sour, and the slimy monster stalking the halls ISN'T the principal! You CAN'T call yourself a true Troma fan until you see this movie !

"Class Of Nuke 'Em High Part 2" (1991, Eric Louzil)
9 out of 10 radioactive stars
The sequel with no equal (espically on radiation levels) ! Big hair, hot girls with lips on their bellys, awesome music, and a 50 ft. squrril ! Need I say more ? SEE IT NOW !

"Class Of Nuke 'Em High Part 3" (1994, Eric Louzil)
8 out of 10 radioactive stars
Pretty good follow up based on "A Comedy Of Errors". Good subhumanoids vs. bad subhumanoids. Dissappointing ending, but a great film none the less. Part two was a little better though just because the ending of Part 3 is really lame. Although Part 3 is funnier. Best to see the trilogy in order.

"Combat Shock" (1986, Buddy Giovinazzo)
8 out of 10 stars
I bet you thought killing, agent orange, and torture chambers were the hard parts in life. "Full Metal Jacket" meets "Eraserhead" is this series drama about life after the Vietnam war. NOT for the squemish. Only war film shot entirly on Staten Island, New York.

"Cry Uncle!" (1970, John G. Avildsen)(Unrated Edition)
8 out of 10 stars
Hilarious story of murder, blackmail, and sex. Still staring is an all star cast including Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas, A Touch Of Class) and Allen Garfield (The Cotton Club, Nashville). Also note the great acting of Lloyd Kaufman as a stoned out hippie. Originally had a XXX rating ,but still got good reviews in the New York Times.

"Curse Of The Cannibal Confederates"(1982, Tony Malanowski)
6 out of 10 stars
When a journel of a confederate soldier is stolen by a nosey camper, cannibal confederates zombies attack a bunch of stupid campers. This film proves the south shall rise again.....and again.....and again. I'll be completely honest, I enjoyed this film basically because its so bad , its good ! You will laugh at all the terrible, terrible acting. A must see for fans of its-so-bad-its-good movies ! NOTE: There is not a single actual confederate uniform in the movie.

"Decampitated" (1998, Mike Hart)
10 out of 10 stars
Troma doesn't care what you did last summer. This year take a trip to Decamp acres. 7 campers are terrorized by a mystery killer. Everyone has to see this film. A horror-comedy just as awesome as The Toxic Avenger. Pretty cool soundtrack too featuring Sheer Terror, Flak, H20, and Hatebreed.

"Def By Temptation" (1990, James Bond III)
8 out of 10 stars
A studio quality film featuring an all star cast and a wonderful soundtrack.A succubus (Melba Moore) with a trail of dead men behind her goes one on two with a young divinity student questioning his faith and a street smart (almost)scientist like charector(Bill Nunn). The divinity student has two great actors in his blood. A preacher father (Samuel L. Jackson) and a B-movie star brother(ironically portrayed by Kadeem Hardison). This is a Troma movie for Troma fans, and non-Tromites alike ! Pretty cool Hip Hop soundtrack (which I own) is a collector's item.

"Drawing Blood"(1999, Sergio Lapel)
9 out of 10 stars
The best Troma pick-up released this year. A unique take on vampires,art,and immortality. Instead of the typical take on vampires, Diane, a female, is a painter who paints the pictures with the blood of the homeless corpes/models. Her assistant is forced to be her slave because Diane is in love with him and threatins to turn him into a vampire. This is an intelligent horror-comedy. There is some nudity, but unlike most Troma films, it is done tastefully. Definally a must see.

"Ellie" (1984, Peter Wittman)
7 out of 10 stars
Pretty good dark comedy that includes Shelly Winters and Shelia Kennedy ! Some parts are a little slow, but worth seeing if you can find it. When Ellie's Dad is killed by her step mom, she want revenge. Down South Slaughter with Charm !

"Eve's Beach Fantasy" (1997, unlisted)
7 out of 10 stars
The preview makes it look like a porno, the music makes it sound like a porno, the star actress is hot enough to be in a porno, but.....IT'S NOT A PORNO ! Instead, it's a sexy comedy which was drastically miscategorized as a drama. It's an alleged true story of a beautiful 18 year old who's yearning for a film career and/or a job sends her from innocence to decadence. For some strange reason, the director had his name taken from the film, but we at IN YOUR HOUSE will do our very best to uncover his name! Sorry, no gore and no where near as funny as Troma's other sexy comedies (Waitress!, Squeeze Play) but still worth a look.

"Evil Clutch" (1992, Andreas Marfori)
4 out of 10 stars
Don't see this movie. See the Troma Intelligence Test and get the questions wrong so you see the gore. The gore is the only redeeming factor about this movie. The acting SUCKS ! The story SUCKS ! Everything SUCKS except the gore. Basically, a couple go vacationing and the enter an eerie town where a temptress is killing men with her claw. Good Gore/Bad Movie. Skip this.

"Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid!!" (1986, John Golden)
7 out of 10 stars
Troma loves fat people. Troma loves politically incorrectness. Troma loves films about politically incorrect fat people. Even though the only copy I could see was the "Suitable for Televison Broadcast" version, I still enjoyed this film. From the opening Funeral scene (Where are his hands at?)to the hilarious ending. This film is a real winner. A few slow parts decline this film from a perfect 10, but maybe when I see the uncut version it will be a 10 ! Two brothers befriend a an obese, certifiably insane wild fat guy and accidently bring him to the big city ! Not one to watch with minorities though. Just kidding. NOTE: This is probably the only good review you'll read of this film. Everyone from teen-slasher fan websites to Leonard Maltin said this is the worst movie ever, but they don't understand. Besides, Leonard Maltin liked the film "Very Bad Things" which was too crappy for even my taste.

"Fatty Drives The Bus"(1999 Mick Napier)
9 out of 10 stars
Uh-oh ! Looks like action hero Jesus is in town. Does this mean Satan will cancel a fatal bus crash? Nah ! Instead, Satan comes to Earth as a Tour Guide to get all the passengers to sign over their souls so Satan isn't late for the monthly soul quota. The only problem is, these passengers are some of the sweatiest, most obnoxious passengers this side of Cheapass tours. Looks like its all up to action hero Jesus Christ to stop him ! This film will leave every man screaming "Look at me, I'm a fine looking braud!" and every mother screaming "Your existance is a daily reminder to how bleak my life is." ! One of the best Troma picks-up of this year. Also, Mick Napier is a world renown king of Improv comedy.

"Feelin Up" (1983, David Secter)
5 out of 10 stars
Comedy about swing teenagers looking to make a quick buck any way possible. It isn't really interesting until the half way point and the cop chase scene is hilarious ! One of Troma's best box arts. Some parts are dark comedy, other parts are slapstick so it caters to all comedic needs. However the first half is so bland you wont be able to stand it. The only bright spot in the first half are the Jewish middleaged parents who are hilarious. (Oy ! 4 years of college and he wants to be a janitor) ! Worth seeing if your VCR has a fast forward button.

"Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe For The C.I.A."(1993, Margot Hope)
6 out of 10 stars
The first Troma movie written, produced, AND directed by a female! Margot Hope (Virtuosity) stars with James Hong (Wayne's World II, Blade Runner) in a semi-comedic action film of skinheads, gangsters, sleazy movie producers, and lesbian femiNazis (who strangly look like Sinead O'Conner). Part of the Troma strong woman series. A few decent one liners and a painful-to-watch scene where Ms. Fontaine,well,lets just say that if she has a bathtub, barbed wire, and a bad attitude, you BETTER TALK ! Sometimes slow and boring, it has some bright moments. Often listed in video stores just as "Killer Babe For The C.I.A." Worth seeing.

"Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters"(1982,Jopi Burnama)(re-dubbed by Charles Kaufman)
8 out of 10 stars
If Woody Allen's "Whats Up Tiger Lily" made you laugh, this will make you change your pants! A movie that bombed 10 times over was boughten by Charles who redubbed it with new, humorous dialouge. Fart jokes, Elvis Impersonators, and unusual pick up lines (Hey baby, you have a face for trophy modeling) make this an instant classic.

"The First Turn On" (1983, Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman)
10 out of 10 stars
A wild romp through summer camp and sexy memories as a group of older campers and their counselor are trapped together in a cave with nothing but each other to pass the time. Probably the second funniest of the Troma sexy comedies (next to Stuck On You), this gem is worth buying. Madonna was turned down for a role which shows how intelligent the people at Troma are.Trust me, The First Turn On whoops the crap out of Evita ! This is definetly one to own. And, this I'm sure clenches the sell, it stars Penthouse Pet Of The Year Sheila Kennedy ! This is also writer of "Tromeo and Juliet" and lead singer of the band The Icons: James Gunn's favorite film !

"Girls School Screamers"(1984, John P. Finegan)
8 out of 10 stars
A group of sorority girls lead by a nun(whose less of a party animal)'s getaway in a remote, luxurious mansion turns into a hell weekend as the house unleashes horrors. Lloyd himself said that this film sucks, but I loved it. Never a dull moment with a plot that pulls you in and a suprise ending makes this a real enjoyable film. If you order from Troma.com, you may recieve this as a free gift.

"Hollywood Zap!"(1987, David Cohen)
7 out of 10 stars
Isn't it funny how Troma can gross you out one minute, then move you to tears the next ?
Basically, a southern boy looks for his father and finds interesting frineds along the way. Hard to find, but definetly worth seeing !

"Igor and the Lunatics"(1985, Billy Parolini)
5 out of 10 stars
A mentally challenged escaped person is running around and killing people. That is the plot over-and-over again. One of the few Troma films to have warning labels (like Beware:Children At Play, and Bloodsucking Freaks) this film is based soley on shock value. A few good one-liners (I'm gonna cut you up like a nice spring chicken!) but a lame ending makes this one to skip.

"Killer Babe For The C.I.A." see "Femme Fontaine"

"Killer Condom"(1997, Martin Walz)
9 out of 10 stars
A living, breatheing, and worst of all.....BITEING condom grasps the city in prophilactic perril. Its up to gay cop Luigi Makkroni and his drag queen sidekick Babett (or Bob, depending on what day you catch him/her) to stop these riotous raincoats. Killer Condom, the rubber that rubs you out ! NOTE: In German with English subtitles, but you get used to it.

"Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy" (1994,Harry M. Love)
3 out of 10 stars
This movie is too screwed up for even my standerds. Way too much incest and narrorating combined with lack of dialouge and plot makes this one to leave on the shelves. Not as much gore as the previews show and this movie is nowhere near as cool as Bloodsucking Freaks. Skip this or else. From the producer of the far superior Rabid Grannies.

"Monster In The Closet"(1986, Bob Dahlin)
8 out of 10 stars
A horror film for the whole family. Every child's worst nightmare (no, not a gym teacher) an Army Of Darkness-looking monster in a closet is harassing and terrorizing a city and its up to John Carradine (The Grapes Of Wrath) to stop him ! The last scene where the world destroys their closets is hilarious. Rated PG !

"Mother's Day"(1979, Charles Kaufman)
8 out of 10 stars
A dark comedy pioneering slasher film. A must see for anyone of the gore genre. Young girls on a camping trip fall victim to a meniacle, deranged old woman (in other words, a typical little old lady) and her evil children. A must see for Troma fans. Can be enjoyed as a slasher AND a dark comedy. Look for the death by Draino scene.

"A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell"(1991, Brett Piper)
3 out of 10 stars
The plot (or lack there of is this) every species wants to mate with the last women on earty. There is no sex and only a brief moment of nudity when you see Linda Corwin's nipples. I'm not a pervert, but you'de expect some sex from a film with the word "Nymphoid" in the title. The only reason this isn't a complete bomb is that the special effects are truly amazing. The same guy who was special effects in the Nuke Em High series wrote and directed this. The preview is the only good thing about this movie.

OK, i'll complete the list later. I've seen MANY more Troma films than this, but I feel too tired to write them now. DON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT FOR TRULY INDEPENDENT CINEMA !

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