NEW TROMA REVIEWS ! - Sports - http://maxpages.com/inyourhouse/NEW_TROMA

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"Baconhead" (1997, Ray Mahoney)
9 out of 10 stars
A sketch comedy film that can best be described as Upright Citizens Brigade meets Monty Python ! With a perfect mix of insanity and music (wonderful score by The Angry Hippos), "Baconhead" makes for a hilarious good time. Kid tested. Quinlan the Detailing tubbist approved. Showing this month at the Valley of the Chris' Cinema.

"The Battle Of Love's Return" (1971, Lloyd Kaufman)
7 out of 10 stars
A second full-length on-his-own directing attempt from the greatest director of all time Lloyd Kaufman. Personally, I thought it was alot better than what people say. Givin this bears no resemblence whatsoever to "Terror Firmer", "The Toxic Avenger", or even "Squeeze Play", I still enjoyed it. Made for only $8,000.00 , this is a good movie to watch for aspireing film-makers who have next-to-no budget and want to make a film. It also contains the very first Tromaville Cafe short AND Oliver Stone. Worth seeing for hardcore Kaufman fans.

"Best of Crapston Villas"(1995, Sarah Kennedy)
8 out of 10 stars
A brilliant satrical claymation feature length version of five episodes of the British animated smash: "Crapston Villas". In it you will find puppet sex, puppet drugs, and puppets behaving badly! Fans of "South Park" and "Beavis & Butthead" should check it out.

"Beware! Children At Play: Director's Cut"(1989, Mik Cribben)
7 out of 10 stars
WOW! What a difference a director's cut makes! For a plot synopsis, read the R-Rated review in the Troma section. Extra bloodshed and extra nippleage makes this extra campy! A Troma classic!

"Blades"(1988, Thomas R. Rondinella)
6 out of 10 stars
A killer lawnmower attacks a golf course. That's it. Some funny camp moments, mostly suckage. Worth all $3.00 I bought it for.

"The Capture of Bigfoot" (1979, Bill Rebane)
4 out of 10 stars
I would personally like to apoligize for being one of the many who voted for this piece of crap to be re-released at Troma's re-release poll. Even though this film has some camp value, it mostly SUCKS ! Fearless hunters track down bigfoot and bigfoot JR.. The only thing this film is good for is as a way to make "Curse of the Cannibal Confederates" seem like "Citizen Kane".

"Centerfold Girls"(1973, John Peyser)
7 out of 10 stars
A killer stalks girls who pose in adult magizines. Film goes WAY off track sometimes, but is still decent.

"Chillers" (1987, Daniel Boyd)
7 out of 10 stars
5 stranded people at a bus station exchange stories about nightmares they had the previous night while awaiting a bus. Suprisingly well acted, but the laughably bad dialogue sound awkward coming from such good expression. It runs about a reel too long, but has good camp value and a few actual frights.

"Christmas Evil"(1973, Lewis Jackson)
9 out of 10 stars
VERY well done psychological horror film about a man obsessed with Christmas. Not a slasher film, as the cover suggests, but more so a dark-comedy. Starring Brandon Maggart, father of Fiona Apple. DVD features great interviews conducted by Chad "Unspeakable" Ferrin.

"Dog Years"(1997, Robert Loomis)
9 out of 10 stars
An action packed tale of a boy, his dog, and a whole lot of guns ! Really is different from any other film out there ! In an occurance of police brutality and mistake identity, a punk rock slacker gets his dog stolen and he tries to get it back. An edge of your seat laugh riot ! A must for Tarentino-style movie fans !

"Digital Prophet"(1996, Chris Romero)
8 out of 10 stars
Jeffrey Combs (The Frighteners, Re-Animator) stars in this film about a cult comic book writer, and the internet fans who take his work to seriously! Beautifully shot and worth seeing.

"Escape From Hell"(1979, Ed G. Muller)
-1 out of 10 stars
THE SINGLE WORST FILM IN TROMA HISTORY! A bunch of women in prison escape after being raped. As wonderful as that synopsis sounds, the film SUCKS! AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS! ANYONE WHO LIKES THIS FILM SHOULD BE TORTURED! ARRRGH! WORSE THAN "SIZZLE BEACH"! Dubbed. Poorly.

"The Fanatic"(1981, David Winters)
8 out of 10 stars
Vinny (JOE SPINELL Rocky, The Godfather, Willie Lustig's MANIAC) is a cab driver who has dreams of being a Hollywood director. He follows his favorite actress Jenna Bates to the Cannes film festival, and bodies are stacked all the way to the silver screen ! Although this DVD has less extras than any Troma DVD I have seen yet, it's still a darn good movie ! Look for Robin Leach in the front row during the press conference.

"FIST OF FEAR, TOUCH OF DEATH"(1980,Matthew Mallinson)
9 out of 10 stars
Combining elements of Blaxploytation, Kung Fu Flicks, Kickboxing, and Sci Fi, this documentary on the life, and death, of Bruce Lee is NOT TO BE MISSED! Rarly drags, predominatly a high speed adventure! Plus, I got it for 3 bucks during the Tromabortion sale! Ranks very High-Ya!

"Foreplay"(197?, John G. Avildsen)
9 out of 10 stars
A pretty good skit-comedy film which is hosted by Professor Irwin Correy (Stuck On You) and features one short film by John G. Avildsen. In the first short, a man is held captive by his sex doll. In the second, I can't remember. Sorry. In the third, the prez and his wife have to have sex on TV to save their kidnapped daughter. Order from Troma.com and get a free Troma VHS!

"Frostbiter"(1990, Tom Chaney)
8 out of 10 stars
A chilling testament to the deadly Native American folk-lore creature of the north. When a group of hunters desocrate the Wendigo's sacred sleeping place, they unleash the creature's wrath for some Evil Dead style fun ! Starring Ron Asheton of Iggy Pop fame. AKA: "Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo" and "Wendigo".

"The G.I. Executioner"(1984, Joel M. Reed)
7 out of 10 stars
A film VERY different from "Bloodsucking Freaks" from the same director.This action/romance/comedy about a soldier in Singapore may not be for everyone, but for true Reed fans like myself, it will please those willing to be pleased. Although we'll all miss the caged sexoids and sado-masochist midgits, it's a darn good movie.

"Ginger in the Morning"(1972, Gordon Wiles)
8 out of 10 stars
Sissy Spacek stars in one of the few watchable romantic-comedies ever! A man picks up an hitchhiker and madness ensues. Features Slim Pickens.

"The Groove Tube"(1973, Ken Shapiro)
8 out of 10 stars
Although over 25 years of televisions satires have dulled the edge of this razor of a film, it still has some great moments, such as Ken Shapiro running down the streets of New York, and Chevy Chase's "Four Leaf Clover." Troma acquired the rights from Hen's Tooth Video.

"HELLBLOCK 13"(1998, Paul Talbot)
7 out of 10 stars
Tedious and tiresome at times, this films has some of Tromaville's greatest actors. A prison guard (Gunnar Hassen, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE) talks to a notorious inmate (Debbie Rochon, TERROR FIRMER, TROMEO & JULIET, SANTA CLAWS) before she is sent to the electric chair. She tells him three boring tales that include zombie children, redneck abuse, and a biker chick (J.J. North, PSYCHO SISTERS, ATTACK OF THE 60 Ft. CENTERFOLD). Although Rochon and Hassen give great performances, the film is bland in the story areas. However, it has excellent special effects and a wonderful score featuring Bahaus's "Bela Lugosi's Dead".

"The Imitators"(1999,Richie Winearls)
7 out of 10 stars
A 50th Street films release about a group of thives who try to rob banks like their heroes, but fail miserably. Mildly tragic-comedic and a little slow.

"I Was A Teenage TV Terrorist"(1987(?), Stanford Singer)
4 out of 10 stars
I REALLY tried to like this film. I REALLY REALLY did, but it's just too poorly executed for even camp! Paul is a boy who (along with his girlfriend Donna) is sent to live with his Dad who owns a local cable station where he puts up with a crappy apartment, a crappy boss, and crappy actors which makes this a crappy movie. The laughs are few and far between, with only about 6 minutes of actual TV Terrorism. Produced by Lloyd's sister Susan Kaufman, but since a Kaufman didn't direct it, it's missing the sexy gory satire touch. Avoid !

"Legend of the Chupacabra" (1997, Joe Castro)
8 out of 10 stars
Pretty much where "Blair Witch" creators stole their idea from, this is a mockumentary about film students who try to hunt down the Spanish mythical beast: The Chupacabra (translated: "Goat Sucker"). Very well done.

"The Love Thrill Murders"(1970, Bob Roberts)
8 out of 10 stars
Better than what I expected, this film has a slow start, but 15 minutes into it you'll be drawn to the screen ! Troy Donehue stars as a Charles Manson-type cult leader who has a strict group of followers who do his bidding. Enjoyable on many levels and has some great directing. Look for Lloyd as Squeegie, one of Moon's mindless slaves. Worth seeing.

"Lust For Freedom"(1987, Eric Louzil)
8 out of 10 stars
Great fun from the director of the Nuke 'Em sequels! When a female cop tries to find purpose in her life in a small southern town, she is framed and locked-up in a jail cell full of sex and violence which leaves her with a strong LUST FOR FREEDOM! Honestly, the film is great camp with numerous flaws that make it HILARIOUS! Main theme performed by Grim Reaper.

"New Gladiators"(1983, Lucio Fulci)
8 out of 10 stars
Lucio Fulci, considered the father of Italin Horror, directs this film about a future where TV exectutives have people fight each other to the death in the Roman Colisseum for ratings. Excellent DVD commontary from Trent Hagga and the Fulci Beneviolence Society.

"Nightfall"(1998, ???)
7 out of 10 stars
A cop/vampire drama that features the star of "Dinosaur Valley Girls." Starts out exciting, but loses steam near the end and runs about a reel too long.

"Ocean Drive Weekend"(1986, Bryan Jones)
7 out of 10 stars
The Ocean-side b-side to "National Lampon's Animal House" involves many joyous beach seekers as they go through the trials and tribulations of Spring Break. Some slow parts are made up for by some of the most unforgetable scenes in Tromadom ! I'll never forget the line "cooked meat is for pussies" ! VERY hard to find, so if you see it for sale at a used video store, PICK IT UP ! If you don't like it, sell it on eBay (the other day I saw it go for about 20 bucks) ! Great beach soundtrack. Rated PG-13.

"Project: Kill!" (1970, William Girdler)
6 out of 10 stars
Serious film starring Lesile Nielson (Naked Gun) and Vic Diaz (Vampire Hookers) about a kung fu agent and his battles. Mostly boring, buy Nielson is a sensational serious actor.

"Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills"(1994, Philippe Mora)
7 out of 10 stars
Beverly D'Angelo stars in this films about a woman who gets turned into a pterodactyl after her husband steals an artifact from a native american reservation. If you liked the title, you'll like the movie. Also features Dame Edna, John Astin, Brion James, and more.

"Pyro"(1965, Julio Coll)
6 out of 10 stars
A thriller that is arguably the most influential film of all time has become dated and boring. Although the first 30 minutes are great, the rest of it drags on. It's influence can be seen everywhere from "Fatal Attraction", to Sam Raimi's "Darkman".

"Rockabliiy Vampire" (1997, Lee Bennett Sobel)
8 out of 10 stars
A woman who is obsessed with Elvis falls for an Elvis lookalike who is, infact, a vampire. Everything's fine until she finds out about the vampire's brother who is ALSO a vampire. This film, although it has a slow start, contains several entertaining charecters, most of which were in "Tromeo and Juliet." Worth seeing on DVD for the extras.

"Rockin' Road Trip" (1985, William Olsen)
8 out of 10 stars
Interesting film about a rock star, a slacker, a stalker, a blind guy, and a televangilist! Although it runs about a reel too long, it still proves entertaining at times with some pretty good music.The lead singer of the rock band Cherry Suicide is going south with her band, her sister, and a groupie to avoid her boyfriend. Rated PG-13. Although OOP, it's easy to find.

"Shark"(1969, Sam Fuller)
6 out of 10 stars
A dated underwater adventure based on the novel "His Bones Were Coral". Sam Fuller (The Big Red One) directed Burt Renyolds (Boogie Nights, Deliverance, Cop And-A-Half) in a story of love, greed, and fish. Since it was 1969 there were no computer-generated special effects and a stunt diver actully died during shooting. Even more terrifying is that Burt Renyolds didn't have a moustache. Part of Troma's "Before They We're Stars" series.

"Screamplay"(1984, Rufus Butler Seder)
8 out of 10 stars
Lloyd Kaufman called this a masterpiece. I don't know if it truly is, but it's a darn good film none the less! Basically, a screen writer is struggling to make it in Hollywood when everything he writes in his murder mystery actully happens ! A shocker ending makes this one to seen. Some slow parts. Black and White.

"Space Zombie Bingo"(1993,George F. Ormrod)
7 out of 10 stars
A goofy send-up of 1950's space mutant flicks. Afew catchy songs doesn't save the immense blandness of some scenes (although the lactating zombies and kitten in the microwave are a nice touch). If you are interested in seeing a baby being barbequed and intercourse with a lactating alien, you might like this.

"Star Worms II: Attack of The Pleasure Pods" (1987,Lin Sten)
7 out of 10 stars
Quite possibly the best low budget sci-fi film there is ! It involves slaves on a prison-planet trying to get free by selling purple flake . Great acting and special effects and some slow parts makes this a step away from normal Troma films, but a foot remains in the bizarre department !

"Sucker: The Vampire"(1997, Mike Hart)
8 out of 10 stars
Pretty average movie with some standout points. A vampire uses his popular rock band to luer girls into his lair. When one girl who attacks him accidently gives him AIDS, all hell breaks loose. There are alot of fairly interesting plot twists and inner stories that occur, but not interesting enough to make it a classic. I never want to hear "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" again. Extra star for great DVD Director's commentary!

"Sugar Cookies"(1971, Theodore Gershuny)
5 out of 10 stars
Good script, good acting, poorly executed directing. Basically, a girl gets revenge on a guy for killing her lesbian lover by manipulating another girl. Stars Mary Woronov (Rock and Roll High School) and Lynn Lowry (Battle of Love's Return, Cat People, Crazies). SUCKS!

"Teenage Catgirls In Heat"(1993, Scott Perry)
7 out of 10 stars
All the cats in Riverville are comitting suicide and turning into beautiful, sexy Catgirls! When one falls in love with a desperate young man, all Hell breaks loose ! Interesting fact: I picked this up at a Barnes & Noble !

"Unspeakable"(1999, Chad Ferrin)
9 out of 10 stars
Probably one of the greatest psychological horror films of all time, "Unspeakable" shocks, stalks, and rocks at every moment ! When a man is in a car wreck, leaving his wife blind,mute,deaf, and paralyzed as well as leaving his only daughter Heather dead, he's left only one alternative: WAR ON GOD ! A bit of a weak ending is the only thing seperating this movie from perfection, but Mr. Ferrin's directorial debut is not to be missed ! It t'was the first movie to world premier on the internet ! I've met Chad and he actully is a great guy. He's also not as weird as you'de think he would be after seeing the "Suck The Cross" scene which he directed.

"Video Vixens"(1975, Henri Pachard)
8 out of 10 stars
When a TV station's ratings are low, they air the first-ever stag film awards. So much gratuidous nudity, it's disturbing. Other than that, very funny. Pachard has made over 290 feature length films.

"Viewer Discretion Advised"(1991, Tommy Blaze)
7.5 out of 10 stars
A comedy in the spirit of "Kentucky Fried Movie" and "Amazon Women On The Moon" which details and satirizes American's obsession with the idiot box. Any movie with sado-masochist hillbillies and schizo's therapists is alright by me. Some forced jokes makes some parts a little slow, but overall it's worth seeing.

"When Nature Calls"(1983, Charles Kaufman)
8 out of 10 stars
Willie Mays. Fred Blassie. G. Gordon Liddy. Are you sure this is a Troma movie ? Masterful director Charles Kaufman (Mother's Day) directed this comedy about families in the wilderness and the crazyness that follows. What seperates this from a Disney movie ? Nudity, a bear that falls in love with a teenage girl, and two hot dogs having sex. Although not at the same groundbreaking level as "Mother's Day", "When Nature Calls" is one of the funniest movies in the Troma library. Contains three fake previews (the best of which I think is "Baby Bullets") and credit jokes. WARNING: Do not order from Suncoast, it took 2 1/2 monthes for it to reach me.

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