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| More tests. More stupid tests! |  |
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| Cow Test! | Does Fuzzy Logic Hurt? |
| 1. Say COW before each word: - Cows - About - Talking - Idiot - Stupid - This - Got - I - Long - How - Look 2. Say COW after each word: Cows - About - Talking - Idiot - Stupid - This - Got - I - Long - How - Look - 3. Say COW before and after each word: - Cows - - About - - Talking - - Idiot - - Stupid - - This - - Got - - I - - Long - - How - - Look - 4. Start at the bottom and read the words upwards: Cows About Talking Idiot Stupid This Got I Long How Look |
1. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? 2. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? 3. If there is no God, who pops up the next kleenex in the box? 4. When a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose? 5. Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through teller machines? 6. How did a fool and his money get together? 7. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan? 8.How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? 9. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? 10. What's another word for thesaurus? 11. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? 12. What do they use to ship Styrofoam? 13. Why is abbreviation such a long word? 14. Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? 15. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 16. How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes? 17. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 18. When you choke a smurf, what color do they turn? 19. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 20. Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs? 21. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the special olympics? 22. Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? 23. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? 24. If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer? 25. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 26. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 27. Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 28. Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 29. Is it possible to be totally partial? 30. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 31. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? 32. If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, does it make a sound? 33. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 34. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 35. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? 36. Should vegitarians eat animal crackers? 37. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? 38. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? 39. Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? 40. Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there? 41. Why do people say "tuna fish?" They don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird!" A few statements to ponder...George Carlin Quotes 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? 8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong? 10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 11. Is there another word for synonym? 12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" 13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" 14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? 15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? |
| How many of these have read, oh great IB students? | |
| Not Recommended Books for Children 26. Bob the Germ's Wonderous Journey Into and Back Out of Your Digestive System. 25. The Little Engine that Could Becomes intoxicated and Kills Civillians. 24. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge.. 23. Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures. 22. Dick, Jane, and Spot Wander into The 'Hood'. 21. Clifford the Big Red Dog Accidently Eats his Masters and is Put to Sleep. 20. Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from your Nose. 19. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad. 18. The Tickling Babysitter 17. A Pictoral History of Circus Geek Suicides. 16. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories. 15. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle. 14. Babar Meets the Taxedermist and Becomes a Piano. 13. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear. 12. David Duke's World of Imagination. 11. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence. 10. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables. 9. Legends of Scab Football. 8. Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina. 7. Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer. 6. Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales But Can't Remember the Endings to All of them. 5. Ed Beckley's Start a Real-Estate Empire with the change from your Mom's Purse. 4. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy. 3. Things Rich Kids Have, but you never will. 2. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica without their clothes on. 1. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead. |
Below is a comparison of the GK tests our parents faced in our school days and the one we might have to face. THEN 1. Who wrote the book 'Discovery of India' ? (a) Jawaharlal Nehru (b) M K Gandhi (c) Indira Gandhi (d) Mother Teresa NOW 1. Where would you find the author of the book 'Discovery of India? (a) www.india.co.in |
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