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| A few things that were inspirational to me that I feel a need to share. |  |
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| Stress Management | Procrastinator's Creed |
| Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called "The World". The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water. There now...feeling better? |
I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possiblity for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero. If at first I don't suceed, there is always next year. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind. I shall always begin, start, intiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can gorget about forever. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized. |
| I've learned... | Follow your dream... |
| I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof to destroy it. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have some assets. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. I've learned to say "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke in six languages. |
-Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill. -Take time to stop and smell the roses...and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee. -Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone! -When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. -It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. -Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffiene group, and the "whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group. -Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down. -This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land and get off my land. -Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't...you can't wait to throw up. -Some days it just ain't worth chewing through the leather straps in the morning... Thoughts about life 1. I started out with nothing...I still have most of it 2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran? 3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. 5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished. 9. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. 10. I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock. 11. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.. 12. It was all so different before everything changed. 13. If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt. 14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 15. Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident. 16. A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle. 17. I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few... 18. There are two kinds of pedestrians ... the quick and the dead. 19. It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. 20. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 21. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. 22. The world beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 23. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 24. Never knock on Death's door...ring the doorbell and run (he hates that). 25. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). 26. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? |
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