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| Stunning examples of human intelligence |  |
| Isn't it amazing how people think? |
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| A stunning example of why America will lose the next war: | One of the smartest guys alive today.... |
| Military Intelligence An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the no haggle attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "Maybe I’ll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!" The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll run into those two Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing.” So the Ranger headed into the bayou and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, “Those must be the Marines the guy in town was talking about.” Just then, the Ranger saw tremendously long gator swimming rapidly towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Lying nearby were several more of the creatures. One of the Marines then exclaimed, “Damn, this one’s barefooted too!” |
Overheard Between the Unabomber and the Court Psychiatrist -“No, you may not borrow my underwear, Mr. Kaczynski.” -“Man, that O.J. is a nut, isn’t he?” -That ink blot looks like the oppressive technocratic regime attempting to enslave our free minds….or maybe a bunny rabbit.” -“Would you PLEASE stop making that ticking noise?!” -“If I were a 50-year-old virgin, I’d go nuts, too!” -“Okay, Marvin Gardens with three houses, that’s $875…” -“Tell me again, Ted, which one is itchy?” -“Boy?” “BOMB!” “Girl?” “BOMB!” “Airport?” “BOMB!” “Okay, that’s enough word association.” |
| American Intelligence | Chicken Gun! |
| During the heat of the space race in the 1960’s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem of writing in zero gravity, used a pencil. |
Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity - 600 mph+. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed train. Arrangements were made. But when the Brits fired the gun, their engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. The horrified engineers sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions. NASA's response was just one sentence: "Thaw the chicken". |
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