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| Anything on this page is from the Big Brass, the person who claims to be the IB Antichrist. Please don't hold me responsible for anything she sends! |
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| Quotes about Religion | Top Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better than Jesus |
| "A man without a god is like a fish without a bicycle." Adapted from a quotation of feminist Gloria Steinem "Killing for peace is like fucking for chastity" Author Unknown "God said "let there be light" and they watered down the beer. Author Unknown "Democracy is the belief that twenty thousand lemmings can't all be wrong." Author Unknown "I'm an atheist. Swear to god." Author Unknown "Organized religion is like organized crime; it preys on peoples' weaknesses, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate." Author Unknown "I am treated as evil by those who feel persecuted because they are not allowed to force me to believe as they do." author unknown "A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a .45." Author Unknown "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned." Author Unknown "Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life." Author Unknown "'God is as real as I am', the old man said. I was relieved since I knew Santa wouldn't lie to me..." Author Unknown "Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish." Author Unknown "The world holds two classes of men: intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri "Not only is there no god, but try getting a plumber on weekends." Woody Allen "If you love God, burn a church" Jello Biafra (ex-Dead Kennedys singer) "Faith; noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." Ambrose Bierce "Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy." Ambrose Bierce "Mythology: The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later. Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" "Scriptures; noun. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based." Ambrose Bierce "When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite." William Blake "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance." Derek Bok - Harvard President "Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion." Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. Imagine the ego of the human race, to consider themselves so grand, as to warrant a creator worthy of praise. Robert Brunswick Jr. "For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." Charles Bukowski "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." Arthur C. Clarke "Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense." Chapman Cohen "I do not believe in god because I do not believe in Mother Goose." Clarence Darrow "I think; therefore I am." Rene Descartes "Men have never fully used [their] powers to advance the good in life, because they have waited upon some power external to themselves and to nature to do the work they are responsible for doing." John Dewey "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." Philip K. Dick "I believe the spreading of Catholicism to be the most horrible means of political and social degradation left in the world." Charles Dickens Asked soon after Carl's death: "Didn't [Sagan] want to believe?" She responded, "He didn't want to believe. He wanted to know." Ann Druyan (Carl Sagan's wife) "I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God." Thomas Edison "A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death." Albert Einstein "The gods can either take away evil from the world and will not, or, being willing to do so, cannot; or they neither can nor will, or lastly, they are both able and willing. If they have the will to remove evil and cannot, then they are not omnipotent. If they can, but will not, than they are not benevolent. If they are neither able nor willing, then they are neither omnipotent nor benevolent. Lastly, if they are both able and willing to annihilate evil, how does it exist?" Epicures, 300 B.C. "We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake." Catherine Fahringer "If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing" Anatole France "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?" Jules Feiffer "Not only is there nothing to be gained by believing an untruth, but there is everything to lose when we sacrifice the indispensable tool of reason on the altar of superstition." Freedom From Religion Foundation "In the long run nothing can withstand reason and experience, and the contradiction religion offers to both is only too palpable." Sigmund Freud "We dance around in a ring and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost "Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things. One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the earth and you should save it for someone you love." Butch Hancock "The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by H. Sapiens is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and becomes petulant if he does not receive this flattery. Yet this ridiculous notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history." Robert A. Heinlein "Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe." Thomas Henry Huxley "Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith." Robert G. Ingersoll's "The Gods," 1872 "Organized religion: The world's largest pyramid scheme." Bernard Katz "I believe in an America where religious intolerance will someday end... where every man has the same right to attend or not attend the church of his choice." Pres. John F. Kennedy "Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking." John Maynard Keynes "The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window." Stephen King "Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate." F.M. Knowles "Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness." Fran Lebowitz "The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church." Ferdinand Magellan "I count religion but a childish toy, And hold there is no sin but ignorance." Christopher Marlowe "It requires only two things to win credit for a miracle: a mountebank and a number of silly women." Marquis de Sade "Religion is the opiate of the masses." Karl Marx "The trouble with communism is the communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is Christians." H.L. Mencken "Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass; he is actually ill." H.L. Mencken "A'nahl Nathrak, Uthphas Biethud, Dolkiel Deinvey" Merlin "I should like to see, and this will be the last and most ardent of my desires, I should like to see the last king strangled with the guts of the last priest." J. Messelier of Paris, dated 1733: "I have my own God, and I think my God finds me incredibly fucking funny. That's why I chose him as my God ... " Dennis Miller "I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education." Wilson Mizner "One would like to believe that people who think of themselves as devout Christians would also behave in a manner that is in according with Christian ethics. But pastorally and existentially, I know that this is not the case, and never has been." John Neuhaus, in San Jose Mercury News "Faith: not wanting to know what is true." Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche "I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time." Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche "In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point." Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche "The man of the future who will redeem us not only from the hitherto reigning ideal but also from that which was bound to grow out of it, the great nausea, the will to nothingness, nihilism; this bell stroke of noon and of the great decision that liberates the will again and restores its goal to the earth and his hope to man; this Antichrist and anti-nihilist; this victor over God and nothingness - he must come one day." Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche "Religion has caused more misery to all men in every state of human history than any other single idea." Madelyn Murray O'Hair "No God ever gave any man anything, nor ever answered any prayer at any time -- nor ever will." Madelyn Murray O'Hair "The only force more devastating than a nuclear holocaust is a group of Christians fresh out of church." Matt Polek "Better to be unborn than untaught, for ignorance is the root of all misfortune." Plato "Thanks for the job, Mickey." Pluto "I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other gods you will understand why I dismiss yours." Stephen F. Roberts "We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing, all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes." Gene Roddenberry "Indifference to religion, due to thought, strengthens character," W.T. Root, Prof. of Psychology at Univ. of Pittsburgh, after examining 1,916 prisoners. "It is an interesting and demonstrable fact, that all children are atheists and were religion not inculcated into their minds, they would remain so." Ernestine Rose "You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill. I will choose a path that's clear. I will choose free will." Rush ( Free Will ) "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." Bertrand Russell "Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death...Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man." Bertrand Russell "It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." Carl Sagan "I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But as much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking." Carl Sagan --The Demon-Haunted World "The world is so exquisite, with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better, it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look Death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides." Carl Sagan --Billions and Billions "This above all: to thine own self be true." William Shakespeare (Polonius) "The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose." William Shakespeare "No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means." George Bernard Shaw "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality." George Bernard Shaw "All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few." Stendhal "I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock." Howard Stern "I was getting tired about what the preacher called Christian. Anything he did was Christian, and the people in the church believed it, too. If he stole some book he didn't like from the library, or made the radio station play only part of the day on Sunday, or took somebody off to the state poor home, he called it Christian. I never had much religious training, and I never went to Sunday school because we didn't belong to the church when I was old enough to go, but I thought I knew what believing in Christ meant, and it wasn't half the things the preacher did." John Kennedy Toole -- The Neon Bible "[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies." Mark Twain "For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit." Mark Twain "The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them." Mark Twain "We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things and yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy for us." ..........Mark Twain "Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul." Mark Twain "We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things and yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy for us." Mark Twain "A man is accepted into church for what he believes--and turned out for what he knows." Mark Twain "Man is a Religious Animal. Man is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion -- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.... The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste." Mark Twain "The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive...but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetic in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. And every step in astronomy and geology ever taken has been opposed by bigotry and superstition. The Greeks surpassed us in artistic culture and in architecture five hundred years before Christian religion was born." Mark Twain, a Biography "Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider the capacity for it terrifying." Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. "Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel." Horace Walpole "When it comes to a choice between two evils, I always choose the one I haven't tried before." Mae West "Truth in matters of religion is simply the opinion that has survived." Oscar Wilde "The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame." Oscar Wilde "Fundamentalists are like the fir trees in German forests: they cannot stand alone, and are only stable when crowded together, branches locked with those of their brothers. That is why we must always fear them, because they will always hate us for our individualism." Brent Yaciw "What was it that Adam ate that he wasn't supposed to eat? It wasn't just an apple. It was the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The subtle message? 'Get smart and I'll fuck you over' sayeth the Lord. God is the smartest, and he doesn't want any Competition. Is this not an absolutely anti-intellectual religion?" Frank Zappa "If the lord had meant us to have faith, he'd have given us lobotomies." Zlatko "Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything." Robert A. Heinlein "A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain—then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?" Robert A. Heinlein "He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." Douglas Adams "I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence." Doug McLeod |
10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer. 9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex. 8. Beer has never caused a major war. 7. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves. 6. When you have a beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away. 5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured for his brand of beer. 4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second beer. 3. There are laws saying beer labels can't lie. 2. You can prove you have a beer. 1. If you've devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop. |
| Heavenly... | |
| A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, "Hello, and welcome." She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands." He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please." Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected. While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously. The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people?" St. Peter replied, "Them? They're fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day." "Why? Don't they have better things to do?" Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks." |
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