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| TAMI'S PAGE 2 |
| ALL MEANT IN GOOD SPIRIT FOR MY SPECIAL FRIEND |
| All of the jokes seen here came from our 2 mailing lists. Click here to subscribe The blonde's boss asked her to report on her department's progress in dealing with the Y2K problem. "I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions," her memo read, "because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem makes any sense to me. At any rate, I have finished converting all the months on all my calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following new months: Januark, Februark, Mak and Julk-- and the following new daks: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak."  A blond woman finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. She again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order. Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and she is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "At least meet me halfway on this -- buy a ticket." Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Jody plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail. The robbery begins. Jody drives up to the front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffie, "Are you absolutely sure you understand the plan? You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Understand?" "Perfectly," said Buffie. Buffie goes into the bank while Jody waits in the getaway car. One minute passes . . Two minutes pass . . . Seven minutes pass and Jody is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffie. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe into the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away. Jody says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" Buffie said, "I did...I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," said Jody. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!" A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, "Ehhhh .. 22!" The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?" The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top Of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!" This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Mandy!" The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "Just Out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to Work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but What were you doing when we asked you your name?" "Ohh that!", replies the blonde, "That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....'" |
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