About Me - I swear I' m not crazy - Books - http://maxpages.com/hpspeculation/about

State: Montana, that's right I live in Montana! My job is taming wild elk. I grab them by the antlers and slam them against trees until the dirty things are knocked straight! Then I have tea parties with them and dress them in pretty outfits!
No honestly, I do, but I'll never find a wife because those dang Canadians keep on riding down on their buffolo and stealing our women! Yep, but on my off days I find time to update my site.

Favorite Movies: I love the Lord of the Rings, Edward Scissorhands, Signs, Spirited Away, have you seen Triplets of Belleville? (it's bizarre and I love it), the old Star Wars Trilogy (ahem!), GREMLINS!!!!!!! (no, the title doesn't have all those exclamation points), Princess Monoke, the first Matrix, Moulin Rouge, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Blue Collar Comedy Tour

Awful Movies: surprisingly, I don't like the first two Harry Potter movies (haven't seen the third), I loathe Kiki's Delivery Service, I dislike the new Star Wars (I don't exactly hate them yet, waiting for the third...), And (I don't why everyone likes this movie) Seabiscuit

Favorite Music: I'm obscessed over The Beatles' music (I love all of it, I can't say I can name a favorite, but a few I love are: lucy in the sky, sgt. pepper, help from my friends, yesterday, norwegian wood, eleanor rigby, lady madonna, walrus), I also love the Rolling Stones (I Can't Get No Satisfaction, but I also love the rest of it too), John Lennon solo (imagine, give peace a chance!!!!), Simon & Garfunkel, The Eagles, I"M NOT ASHAMED! Elton John (have you heard Tiny Dancer? great song)

Favorite T.V. shows: The Daily Show, The Simpsons, Fox News, Comedy Central Presents, Reno 911!, anything on VH1 (I love the 70s, 80s, 90s), History Channel International and Discovery Times, American Choppers

Woman: Have you seen the good looking British woman, Keira Knightley from Pirates of the Caribbean and Bend It Like Beckham? If you haven't, I suggest you do.

Who will be the next president Nick?:
I would prefer George Bush because I hate Kerry's ugly mug, but now that Edwards has joined, it kind of balances it.

Favorite Books: look at referance on the Table of Contents...

Favorite Radio Shows: Coast to Coast am, listen to it... seriously

Favorite Video Games:
I love Nintendo, and my favorites are any Zelda, Mario, or Mario Kart game. I also used to love Banjo Kazooie, until RARE ditched me!!!!! Anyways, my absolute favorite game of all time is SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE! I challenge anyone. Me and my next door neighbor, HAHA, we're undefeatable as a team! My favorite PC game is Sim City 3000. It is addictive as sin.

Broken Bones?:
Oooooooooh yes. Read this story I wrote about it:
Death by Baseball
"One day I was playing third base and this mutant kid came up to bat!!! He was absolutely disgusting to look at. His arms were prematurely hairy and he had just one eyebrow. One long eyebrow and it looked like you could have a better conversation with it than the kid. Who most assuredly would only make several grunting noises and an occasional "TWWWIRPINNG!"

Anyway, the fellow burped and got his bat ready for impact. His eyes were absolutely alive with anticipation. He burped again. Apparently his stomach was too. I got ready for the almost inevitable swing towards my direction. I was bracing for the worst but in my heart I was singing the deedly to Burger King. The pitcher threw the ball. The batter got ready!!!!!!!! His butt went up, his arms went down, and his greedy little nostrils flared with the joy of battle.

He hit the ball toward me. OH GAWD!!! My heart leaped. I was going to die at the tender age of 8!!! The baseball came in like a Yankee being chased by a bunch of hill-billies. Yep, it was that fast!!! I got my glove ready. It was all so fast!!!! And BAMMMMM!!!!!!!!! The stupid thing hit me in the face and I went down like The Hindenburg. I practically imploded on myself as I fell to the earth. I had no idea of the severity of the damage done to my face yet. But I couldn't breath, so you know, I guessed it was bad. I laid there a bit. Crap. This was crap... My eyes were closed. Did I want to see what happened to my face? Did Mozart want to hear his own music? You know what, I don't know.

I rose from the ground covered in dirt and dead grass probably. My hands drifted to my nose. Awwww, ground zero! I opened my eyes just to find my hands covered in CRIMSON DEATH!!!!!! I didn't scream. What was I supposed to do? I stood there and took in the field. It was a beautiful day, really. Perfect afternoon for a bird shoot and a BBQ. The field was dry. It hadn't rained recently.

Awwww... look at that man running to me like a dingo chasing down a wounded kangaroo. I bet he's trying to help me. Yep. I looked at myself. I was absolutely covered in blood: hat, shoes, shirt, and pants. Um, I wonder if they can get a refund on these clothes? And my nose seemed to have exploded because I couldn't breath through it worth snot. Red hot mucous dripped down my shirt. Is it supposed to be red? I bet that's what happens when your brain cells explode.

This story ends with me going to the hospital, discovering my nose is broken, returning to the surgery thingy a few months later, and getting my first cosmetic surgery. The End"

If You Had $20 and A Doll What Would You Do With It?:
I would slam the doll's head against a rock. Then I would stomp on it, tear its left arm off and use it to slap it. I would then currently cut it in half with scissors, throw its button eyes against the ceiling fan, flush its legs down the toilet, and feed its goldielock hair to my next door neighbor. I would donate the $20 to an orphanage.

List Your Goals For The Year 2004!:
My goals are to smell more roses, read more poetry, to notice more subtle things, to see in shades of gray, to eat healthier, to go outside more, to live happier, to dance more, to sing along, and to take over Canada without causing too many casualties.
(The last one is a joke)

How Do You Stop Fear?:
First I shoot it with a rifle. Then I shoot it a few more times to make sure it's really dead. And if I'm in a good mood I might use pepper spray.

You Have Been Given A Million Dollars. What Would You Do With It?:
First, I'd buy something to eat. Then, I don't know, maybe I'd buy Canada...

What Do You Like Doing In Your Free Time?:
Well picture this, it was a hot sweltering day in the dreary city of Omaha. I was at the sprawling Omaha Zoo, enjoying the vicious man-hating beasts of the petting farm area. The goats were quite energetic that day, so I sat down and enjoyed listening to their mystic cries fill the afternoon sun. I wanted to fulfill my dreams of petting one of their shimmering coats of perfectly laid hair, and feed their mouth full of teeth. So I jogged over to the food dispenser. It was a filthy, filthy machine that fed on my beautiful quarters and spat out its disgusting pellets. Dirty, dirty, dirty pellets with small oddly-colored flies all over them. I put them in my spotless hands and quivered with disgust. I then carried my pellets to a goat who, legend had it, had never been rode by any man. It was the queen of the goats, with utters of glorious proportions, and it wore its horns as if they were a crown. I laid my body next to it and sat up. Our eyes met; it was a beautiful moment. Then a mighty eruption of what would one day be put into song, happened. The goat spat all over my face. Cold saliva running down my nose, and I thought to myself, "What a perverse day." And from that day forward, I was known as the first victim of the live stalk revolution.

Favorite Web Pages:
These really have nothing to do with Harry potter but you should check them out:
The Drudge Report
Great place for up-to-date news. Site is Right-leaning. WARNING! Content could be unsuitable for tots.
Coast to Coast am
Site is dedicated to the radio program, Coast to Coast am, which is dedicated to everything weird.
johntitor.com
Site is very disturbing. May be unsuitable for tikes. Let me ask you something. Do you want to know the future?
Steve Quayle's World
Know, before you're no more.
georgebush.com
Dedicated to the reelection of George Bush.
johnkerry.com
Dedicated to the election of John Kerry as the next president of the gool ol' U.S. of A.
votenader.org
Dedicated to someone who ain't gonna' win.
Lissa Explains It All
Wanna learn HTML? Go here!
foxnew.com
Up-to-date news. Fair and balanced. kinda
moveon.org
get that loser out of the white house
GOP.com
keep that loser in the white house
Swift Boat Veterans For Truth homepage
Swift Boat Veterans will tear Kerry apart!
The Beatles Songs
Everything Beatles
Imagine
All about John Lennon.
AOL straw poll
take a poll for the next president
Boing Dragon's Counters
You know that little dragon that keeps track of how many people come to my site? Well, if you don't, he's sleeping at the bottum of this page. Anyways here's where I got him. (for free)

Quotes:
-"Give me the money."
-"I'll think I'll give you a treat: androids."
-"bye-bye little cow erg... pig"
-"There you are you sly devil."
-"I guess that means he has to use the bathroom."
-"You tooted!"
-"...nice tie, though..."
-"...and go back where you came from..."
-"De wall. De wall. De wall."
-"to the grocery store"
-"as long as I'm around, punks like you won't walk the streets"
-"I'll take ten."
-"Hey I'm naked! FREE!"
-"The buddies bet I could control the plane without touching the controls!"
-"let's skip past this rather embarassing moment"
-"Yes, what does Belly say?"
-"That means I'm your uncle."
-"We'll meet again, Dr. Ice Cream."
-"...bacon, bacon, everwhere..."
-"NO BUTTER ON YOUR TOAST!"
-"A giant cow is attacking the city!"
-"OWIE!!! I got a boo-boo!"
-"That's it cow!"
-"Pig-man! You must need laxative!"
-"I don't know, but I don't like it!"
-"I'm coming Cher!"
-"Another one turned into a hideous blob of goo."
-"'CAUSE YOU'RE THREATENING MY SANITY!!!"
-"Another innocent life lost."
-"The boogers are exploding around the city."
-"Nice try imposter!"
-"Jose! Come look! Hurry!"
-"Don't play games with me!"
-"Do the funk thing."
-"You just ruined my dummy!"
-"Hey! You're Swiss!"
-"...must of been one big constepated bird..."
-"Petey's Rat Milk"
-"Petey is NEATO!"
-"Petey, you rascal, you've put lucky rat poops in our cereal."
-"I love you Tim the Tire."
-"WHERE'S MY LUCKY POOPS!?"
-"It's a tough job but... I'm too lazy to find another one."
-"Hello? Police! This is an emergency! Can you pick up Chinese on your way here?"
-"Don't I? Mr. Brick..."
-"I need payment. Say I'm kinda' hungry, got a cat?"
-"Mmmm... goat sausages..."
-"What ever happened to my dream of being a horse tamer?"
-"Unbeknownst to anyone, Happy Star Man is a violent drunk."
-"NO NO NO! Take one of my CHILDREN!"
-"Hurry, before he awakes from his deadly slumber."
-"...and then it came to me: CHANNEL CHANGER!..."
-"What do you think of this loser, channel changer?"
-"don't move a muscle"
-"Uh-oh, Pikadorf is hobbervolving."
-"Where's my head?"
-"BAD TEDDY!"
-"Mom, why is that man by himself?"
-"NOT POP MUSIC!!!"
-"You could say we were friends now and you know what friends do: TEA PARTY!!! More tea, sir?"
-"On reflection, I think I'm a wanted man."
-"I was scared of teletubbies even before I knew they were blood-thirsty monsters."
-"WILL YOU STOP SMILING?!!!"
-"Ah-no mom, look! It's so hideous it must be a demon!"
-"You put a dent in my elephant, WENCH!"
-"...but your arms still have to go..."
-"Do not worry Mr. Overreact, it is only swamp gas."
-"I knew I shouldn't have aten that jello last summer."
-"Save yourself, noble donut."
-"OUT OF MY WAY, CIVILIAN!"
-"Don't worry, overweight sidekicks are rather easy to find these days."
-"DON'T MAKE ME SPANK YOU, YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!
-"MY CANDY!"
-"Uh, Je t'aime"
-"French women are really weird. You try to have a conversation about the agony of pain, and they bring you bread."
-"Thankfully I have my escape wombat."
-"LUCY'S IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS!"
-"Awwww, how cute, Billy ran into another pedestrian."
-"I think that little green man I ate last week may be spawning in my stomach."
-"Devil Bunny thinks Canada is America' biggest national park."
-"...life has given him lemons but me made thick ugly yellow bile..."
-"Look at him, he's a weapon of mass destruction waiting to happen."
-"Future home of Signs Mart."
-"Sir, there is a large piece of snot dripping down from my nose."
-"Sir, your brutally unkept peach fuzz looks hunkalicious."
-"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Babe-alicious!!!"

Favorite Lyrics:?:
Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

-John Lennon

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ChickenWrath35@aol.com

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Page Updated Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:01am EST