Harry Potter Jokes - Books - http://maxpages.com/hpspeculation/HP

You Know You're Obsessed When . . .
1. You think your destined to kill Voldemort because your born at the end of July - Matt
2. When you get ticketed for riding your broom to Colorado - Matt
3. When you get a broken nose when you run into a wall at a train station - Matt
4. When you see moss, your immediant thought is "TROLL BOGEY!!!" -Nick
5. Everytime you see a black lab you think you're going to die -Matt
6. When you brag about how your parents didn't get killed in a car accident -Nick
7. When you realize too late the frog your eating isn't chocolate -Nick
8. When you cut off your finger to get out of detention, believe me, it doesn't work -Nick
9. If you wonder why Hagrid didn't go into basketball as a career -Matt
10. When you watched the episode in Fantasia when Micky played with the broom and it changed your outlook on life - Nick
11. When you cuss at the French because they ain't nothing but a bunch of half-giant, half-veela, half-fool freaks - Nick
12. When you paint a fake scar on your forehead and so do your children - Nick
13. When you worry about Samantha's children on Bewitched being labeled half-bloods by the other children, children can be so cruel -Nick
14. When your favorite book is Harry Potter and your second is The Bible - Nick
15. When picking out a broom at a store causes a tad bit of thought on your part to which one makes you look the coolest while riding -Nick
16. When cutting a piece of paper, you 'accidentally' cut your forhead so a scar will appear - Nick
17. When you take your broom to an auto-repair shop to fix it up - Nick
18. When you warn your mom about the undeniable poison that has seeped into your family's supper after she used your cauldron to stir it in - Nick
19. When you beat up a short fat man because you think he's trying to read you an embarassing valentine out loud - Nick
20. When you cover your ears everytime you see a baby, to not risk the chance of a mandrake headache - Nick
21. When you check every sink for hidden dials that open secret passageways to man-eating snakes- Nick
22. When you watch the Wizard of Oz and label the Wicked Witch of the West an ameteur- Nick
23. When you throw away pictures because they ain't giving you the finger and then sticking out their chubby green tongue like it used to - Nick
24. When fast food is when you hit a unicorn at 65 miles an hour - Nick
25. When you pass a man with one eye bigger than the other, and you think to yourself, "Oh God! I knew I shouldn't have warn those God-awful socks today." - Nick
26. When you find yourself wondering how house-elves are supposed to get in those high door-knobbed port-a-potties at outdoor events. - Nick
27. When you try to confront a snake holding a muscular rooster as a weapon. - Nick
28. When weed-picking becomes a life-threatening experience because you never know when you might pull up a mandrake. - Nick
29. When you start calling mean teachers Snape or Mrs. Snape. If the shoe fits, they say. - Nick
30. You start calling your friends deatheaters because they wore all black one day. -Brittany from Indiana
31. You have Harry and the Potters downloaded onto your Ipod. - by Ashley from Texas
32. You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.
- by Tonks from San Sco
33. When your walking to town or going to school (in other words, going anywhere) you see people staring every where, and whispering to their friends. You act a little aware and think that they are staring at you. And then when your sure that every-one closet you is staring at you. You say.......'What you staring at? Go find your own dummy and stare at their scar!' you practically think they are staring at you looking at the scar you think you had. sppppoooooooookkkkkkky! - by Dans_gal :-)) from Hemstead Heath -London xxx

*note: 1.-29. were all originally submitted by me/Matt to Crazy4Potter

You Know You're Obsessed When . . .

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Ways To Get Detention From Snape
1. Chase after him with a machine gun. -Nick
2. Flick your booger at him and say off-handedly, "What a lovely day it is." -Nick
3. Walk up to him during class, kiss him on the lips and say, "Jesus loves you." -Nick
4. Say to him, "You remind of that guy who killed all those other guys in that movie." -Nick
5. Say out loud in class, "Have you ever had a strong urge to fart?" -Nick
6. Offer to massage his back for free! "but only on Thursdays you cheap piece of dog filth!" -Nick
7. Dye everything he owns pink. -Caitlin from Arizona
8. Walk up to him during Breakfast in the great hall when every-body is quiet. Act casual! walk down towards the staff table slowly. Act like a buisness bloke! Stop right in front of him, and say loudly so that every-one can actually hear you and say 'Professor Snape, sir! Ive just been looking at the newspaper. And apparently down Tescos their selling Shampoo and Conditioner for cheap prices. Buy 1 get 1 free as well. How good can you get. And there's an order form here. would you like it. you know, for the products, you might want to wash your hair one day. you never know!' -by Dans_gal from Hemstead Heath -London

*note: 1.-6. were all originally submitted by me/Matt to Crazy4Potter

Ways To Get Detention From Snape

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