Stored Comments 2 - RPG comments from Mid July to Mid August...I can't stand to toss them out... - Books

Lee Jordan: (emerging out of the corner) Crabbe, Goyle, you creeps, stop bullying Fred! Of course he's not hiding any illegal dragons, that would be just absurd. And Fred has 100 times more brains than you, he would never do anything that stupid. So lay off!

Proffessor Lupin: Aha. So there you are. Always seems to be this little group, doesn't it? Well, Fred have you got a dragon in school?

Fred: Abso-jolly-lutely not, Professor!

Ginny: (runs in) Where's Ron and Hermione? Something terrible! Oh dear! (looks around desperately and runs down the hall) Help! Help!

Ron: You did WHA-(Fred quietly steps on Ron's foot) Okay, okay, ouch, I'm not going to say anything... (rubs foot as Fred moves away) What's the matter, Ginny?

Fred: Good man, Ron... Calm down Ginny, it can't possibly be as bad as it seems. Breathe, in and out, that's it, Gin.

Madame Pomphrey: Will you keep it down out here?! I have patients trying to sleep! What is the matter with you, Ginny?

Ginny: (whispers to Ron) Get Hermione. I need to talk to you guys NOW! It has to do with Harry...

Crabbe: Hey Lee! We might have been a little slow at getting that mean remark, but that no way says we're stupid! Even if we don't do that well in school, it doesn't mean we're...boo, hooooo (starts to cry)! I can't take it any more! Leave me alone! I'm really a nice guy.... you know: warm and fuzzy. Draco has turned me into a monster! I love you man! (hugs Lee Jordan and Fred Wesley, getting tear marks all over their shirts).

Goyle: You traitor! I can't believe this! Draco is gonna be sooooo mad
when he finds out about this! (Storms out of the room).

Fred: There, there, Crabbe. (commenting off to the side where Crabbe can't hear) You know how many nick names this crying thing opens?! Cry-baby Crabbe, Big Blatt Blubbering Ball...Endless possibilities.

Lee Jordan: Crabbe, get off me!

Proffessor Lupin: As I was saying, Fred, since you don't have a dragon in school, I strongly advise Crabbe and Goyle to stop provoking you. Doesn't anybody have any lessons here?

Harry: (walks in) Hey, guys what's up? Uh, Ginny are you okay over there? Ron, have you been neglecting your little sister again? (sarcasim rises in his voice)

Ron: NO, I dunno what's up with her. Maybe there was something in her pumpkin juice. Anyway, we'll see what it's about - (yelling) OY! HERMIONE! GET OVER HERE! (normal voice) Okay, Ginny, what's the matter?

Ginny: (Whispers to Ron) He was telling that Ravenclaw girl how much he likes her...... what do I do? (teardrop)

Fred: (pretends to stroke his imaginary beard) He...Ginny, you use pronouns too often...There are many living males on this planet, and we don't know who "he" is...Percy, perchance...Or maybe Harry...Who are you talking about?

Goyle: Oh, and by the way Ginny, we all know you like Harry, but he doesn't like you!He likes someone else! So why don't you go cry somemore!

Draco: Crabbe! Goyle! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! I...Crabbe! What on earth are you doing?

Goyle: Malfoy.... guess what? We have a little traitor on our hands!! Yeah!! Cry baby Crabbe over there has just admitted to everyone that he is a little weakling that hates you! What should we do with him? Maybe we should stuff him in a box and send him to Tokyo!
Okay wait, that made no sense...

Crabbe: No Malfoy! Don't do anything to me! Stop the hate! Your a good guy deep down inside, just let it out....

Goyle: I can't believe this! Malfoy, let's get out of here!

Draco: Crabbe! Get your act together if you ever want to be seen with me again! I won't stand for this...this...sentimental nonsense! You should be ashamed of yourself! Acting like we're...nice, or something! (turns to Goyle) I'm disgraced! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear...

Goyle: C'mon Malfoy! Move your bootie!

Filch: (catching Malfoy by the shirt collar) Where do you think you're going, young man? Stop, Crabbe! I see you! Get back here! Goyle, I know you're there, too! Follow me, Proffessor Snape should be interested in this.

Ginny: (tuns to Fred) I'm talking about Harry... and there is no other boy who I like as much as him... (back to Ron) Help me Ron... you're his best friend. What do I do?

Crabbe: First of all Malfoy, I am a nice person deep down inside. Which is why I am turning over a new leaf! Tomorrow I will be an even better person, I will love myself, and heck-gosh-darnit, people will like me! Filch, don't take them away, they're really good fellas!

Goyle: Ok Filch! Draco and I were just socializing with our best friends! We are all best buds! I don't see why you should be taking us away! Crabbe over there was being disruptive!

Crabbe: No! They are lying! I am very kind! Very well behaved! I would never do anything like that!

Bloody Baron: What is going on here?

Fred: What do you mean, what's going on here?! Cry Baby Crabbe is having an emotional breakdown! What I wouldn't do for a camera at this moment! It's times like these where you realise how great life really is! Crabbe is being nice! HAHAhahahahahaha!

Ron: (replying to Ginny, blushing furiously): He's as much my friend as anyone else's, Gin. And I dont' really know about...you know...love stuff like this. (Blushes even
more. Clears throat) Why don't you go ask Hermione, she's a girl and everything...she'll tell you...

Nick: Will anyone explain why, when I went to visit Moaning Myrtle, the bathroom was like an inferno?It's not natural!(glances at Fred and George)

Fred: I think Myrtle just got a little excited when we told her how we made toilets explode in our first year. Myrtle was probably over excited. A little water from the sink ought to cool things down...(smiles innocently)

Nick: Ever so sorry, but Peeves beat you to it....Filch nearly exploded, if he wasn't a Squib he'd of....oops...forget I said that.

Harry: (blushing furiously over Goyles comment about Ginny liking him says) Ginny you're great, really, I mean, you're like the sister I never had... It would just feel wrong dating you, I mena, you're pretty and all, but ... Oh, jeez, Ginny maybe we could just you know spend the day at Hogsmeade, just the two of us sometime.

Fred: Oh that's just lovely, but COULD YOU PLEASE DISCUSS THE LOVEY CRAP IN PRIVATE! For Goodness sake, let the rest of us keep down our lunch. (grimaces)

Bloody Baron: (yelling)PEEVES! GET DOWN HERE AND TORTURE THESE SENTIMENTAL IDIOTS!

Flitwick: (runs up) Have any of you students seen Professor Dumbledore? I really need to speak to him and dear me, I can't find him anywhere...

Goyle: (Whispers secretly to Malfoy) Why would anybody want to see that Mudblood lover Dumblebee? HE HE HE!!!

Ron: (replying to Fred, sniggering uncontrolably) Er, okay, I'm all for Ginny and Harry to continue their little talk somewhere else, but, Harry...are you...do you LIKE Ginny? (sniggers explode into howls of laughter) Just tell me...I won't tell anyone...

Ginny: (repling to Harry)Oh...of course I'd like to spend a day in Hogsmeade with you! (smiles sweetly) ... and I understand what you mean about dating me and all...yeah right...

Moaning Myrtle: (floats in the rooom looking grim) Hullo, everyone. (sadly) Has anyone, er, seen Harry around? He hasn't visted me yet! Oh I miss him so much! I think he's avoiding me...(starts wailing).

Fred: So Myrtle...hows life in the toilet? And to you, sister dear, TAKE THIS LITTLE LOVE CHAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Moaning Myrtle: Oh life in the toilets is just horrible! I always get so lonely (sniff)
Sometimes I wish I could just kill myself...but...oh yeah. I'm already dead. (wails even louder than before)

Ginny: Sticks her tounge out at Fred and turns to Harry) Have you heard some of that muggle music? I really like Eminem... but mom doesn't think it's appropriate. (Rolls her eyes.)

Goyle: (In a very loud voice) Ginny and Harry sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marraige, then comes Ginny with a baby carraige! Hey Potter, you think your baby will have an ugly scar on his head too? HE,HE,HE!

Crabbe: Stop! Stop the insults! I refuse to listen to such insaneness!

Bloody Baron: PEEVES! DID YOU HEAR ME?!

Nearly Headless Nick: If Peeves is coming, I'm going. Oh by the way, Fred, (whispers) You owe me for covering up about the dragon...(leaves)

Fred: (quietly in Pig Latin so that no one but the Nick can hear or respond) Ixnay on the Agondray...

McGonagall: (rushes in embarrased): It´s awful hearing you talking about these stupid things all the time! You´d better go and study. Hermione! At least you!

Lockhart: (who followed her): Oh, my dear Professor Minervy, love isn´t stupid at all! (has a very strange expression on his face)

McGonagall (completely shocked): Gilderoy! Are you completely crazy? (Gilderoy runs out of the room.)Well, please return to your work. (leaves)

Quirrel:(walks in) What is going on in here? What is all this racket about?

Goyle: I can answer that question! Crabbe is having an identitiy crisis,and I am getting pleasure by making fun of Potter! Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Crabbe: Yes, you did say that outloud! And now, you're in for it! Take this filth away!

Goyle: Crabbe, shut up!

Flitwick: My dear Preofessor Quirrel, have you seen Professor Dumbledore? I really need to speak with him.

Hagrid: Mr. Filch!!!(Runs in with a struggling cat in his arms) Mr. Filch, take this confounded cat! She was prancin' around in me garden, squashin' all me plants!! An' you should thank me fer gettin' her away from Fang before he attacked!(puts Mrs. Norris on ground as she meows loundly) Now I've got to go prepare me next class. Stay away you cat!(leaves)

Fred: Ooooh, look at Filch...He's getting all red and angry...Looks rather like a bird eaten tomato, don't you think?

Bloody Baron: PEEVES COME DOWN HERE OR I WILL COME UP THERE AND TORTURE YOU!

Draco: Alright, Filch is distracted with the cat, this is my chance to escape! Goyle, are you coming? Let's don't let Crabbe see us, he'll turn us in. The traitor...

Bloody Baron: PEEVES COME DOWN HERE BEFORE I COUNT TO 5. 1...

Goyle: Yeah, coming...(pauses and turns to Baron)Oh, would you shut up about Peeves? Your never gonna get him! Just leave him alone, and maybe he'll do the same for us!

Crabbe: Yeah, really! Shut up Bloody Baron!

Goyle: You're back! Your old mean self!

Crabbe: Yeah, when did I ever leave? Oh, wait! Are you talking about my identity crisis? Yeah, that's over! I am back to my mean self! Let's go find someone to pick on!

Ginny: (starts whispering the lyrics to "The Real Slim Shady" and looks innocently
around at the teachers) I hate you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you...

Moaning Myrtle: (stops sobbingfor once) Hey Ginny...can I talk to you for a second? (pulls her over into a corner and wispers) Er..what is Harry like outside of the toilets? I mean I only ever see him when he's in the girls' toilets...or taking a bath...(giggles)

Ginny: (raises her eyebrows at myrtle) Excuse me? Are you some sort of sicko? I don't wish to answer those questions. (leaves and goes back to singing eminem)

Hagrid: I fergot me glove...hey Myrtle, don' yeh think that's a little inapropriate?(rounds the corner and sees Mrs. Norris shreding his glove) ME GLOVE!!!!YOU STUPID CAT!!! THOSE WERE EXPENSIVE!!!!!! Mr. Filch, you'd better learn to control your cat better!(grabs his shredded glove and storms out)

Bloody Baron: 2...3...4 PEEVES THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE...

Fred: (in a fake surprised sounding tone) We bless my sainted grandmother's teeth! Is that Peeves I spy? Oh, and will you look at that, he is going away from here as fast as he can. Gee, someone should catch him. (drops tone and mumbles to himself) Maybe the Baron will stop with the yelling...

Crabbe: Oh, Fred, shut up!

Goyle: Really, your lame attempt to get Bloody Baron to leave is pathetic! (Crabbe sniggers behind).

Bloody Baron: I WILL NOT STOP WITH THE YELLING FRED AND AS FOR YOU, PEEVES, I WILL START ALL OVER FOR JUST THE PLEASURE OF IT... 1 2 3 4...

Peeves: Ok, ok, I'm here. I would have been here sooner but I had to leave a surprise for Filch in his office. Hahahaha...

Proffessor Lupin: As I was saying, Fred, since you don't have a dragon in school, I strongly advise Crabbe and Goyle to stop provoking you. Doesn't anybody have any lessons here?

Moaning Myrtle: Hey hey hey! don't get mad! I was only joking! Don't..make...me....cry!!(wails again)

Harry: (pulls Ron aside and whispers in his ear so that no one else can hear) I'm just taking Ginny to Hogsmeade to be polite and nice. I didn't want hurt her feelings but you know how I feel about Cho and Myrtle is really starting to scare me.

Oliver Wood: (Suddenly marches in, holding his broomstick like a bazooka and eyeballing Fred and Harry) Aha! So THERE you are! What d'you think yer playing at, pratting about in here and missing valuable Quidditch practice, EH?? And where's that other red-head?? It's us versus the scum of the earth tomorrow! And I hope you heard that, you slimey
Slytherins, you... (pokes Goyle in the backside with his broom, making Goyle leap into the air)

Madame Pomphry:(storming angrily down the hall) I've told you once already to keep quiet, and if I have to tell you again, I'll give you all reasons to be in my room. (ACHOO!) FILCH! (ACHOO!) GET YOUR (ACHOO!) FILTHY (ACHOO!) CAT (ACHOO ACHOO!) OUT (ACHOO!) OF HERE (ACHOO!) YOU SQUIB! (ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO!) (Glares at Mrs. Norris like it's some demon.)

Fat Friar: Mr. Filch, I saw your cat in Hagrid's garden. Hagrid will be mad, he does not like that cat. I think she likes him but he does not like her.

Goyle: Don't you poke me with a stick, Wood! You call that overgrown weed a broomstick! At least I am not mad at someone 24 hours a day!

Crabbe: Yeah you tell em' Goyle! And by the way, Oliver, we are not the real slime.

George: (comes flying around the corner on his broom and knocks Crabbe over) Oi! Wood! I'm here. I had some business to deal with. Oooh, lookie. Ickle Crabbe fainted...not very strong, that one...

Fred: Spectacular entrance, George. Pure magic, I'd say! (They try to high five, but Goyle's head is in the way and he gets hit) Oooopies. Two down. I think this is an ideal time to be leaving...

Snape: Hey, what are you kids doing in this cooridor? You know it is out of bounds. If i catch you here again, 80 points come off your house. Weasley, about this dragon, you really can't afford to break any more rules can you?

George: They found out! You dolt! (Hits Fred on the head with his broomstick)

Fred: (glares at George, and turns to Snape, holding his head) As I told all of you many, many times I did not and do not have a dragon in my possesion. I may be a bit of a joker, but Fredrick Weasley is a man of his word. As for you, my dear brother... (trys to hit George in the gut but gets Wood in the groin) Sorry there Oliver. (punches George who staggers back and falls onto a recovering Goyle)

Bloody Baron: PEEVES! NOW TORTURE THESES SENTIMENTAL IDIOTS STARTING WITH FRED BECAUSE HE ANNOYS ME AND CRABBE BECAUSE HE HAP A STUPID "IDENTITY CRISIS".

Peeves:Yes, sir. Let me just get some stuff.

Baron: I have to go now...

Ginny: (blinks and looks around) Ok...if nothing happens here soon I'm leaving. (smiles sweetly at Harry)!

Ron: (to Harry)Can't say I blame you about Myrtle, Harry. She is a a bit...odd. But be nice to Ginny, okay? She IS my little sister...I look out for her, you know...(mocks leer) This Eminem thing is really freaking the rest of the family out, though. Well, except Bill...he's totally okay with it. Actually they swap muggle RDs or whatever they're called by owl. Gin really caught on to the muggle stuff. Mum's going nutters - all this rubbish about her little girl going bad, and other annoying jabber like that.

Ginny: (hears Ron) What is wrong with Eminem?! Next thing I know you'll be saying
Dr. Dre is an idiot! Oi...Harry, don't listen to him. It's good music, really. At least Bill agrees with me...

Snape: Miss Weasley, what is all this about Muggle music, Cd's is it? Anyway, you know that Muggle things aren't allowed at Hogwarts. And this music has a very large number of words that are forbidden in Hogwarts. Potter, Weasley, you knew about this? Then you three follow me to my office.

Fleur: (rushes in, panting from a run down the corridor) Has anyone seen Ginny? I need to speak with her, it is very important!

Goyle: You shut your cake-hole Weasley. Your dad's a muggle lover and you're poor! I know I am much stronger than you! So shove it!

Crabbe, yeah! And no one pushes us down! And shut up Bloody Baron, shut up about my identity crises! It's, well, a VERY TOUCHY SUBJECT! So, shut up, okay.

Fred: (whispers to George while searching through his pockets)Goyle, if you want us to shove it, we will. Go! (Both Fred and George take the socks that were in Fred pockets and stuff them into Crabbe and Goyle's mouthes. They walk calmly back to Wood.)I am so sorry for hitting you, Wood. I was aiming for George. Oliver, George, I would be honored if your would accept my appologies.

Oliver Wood: (wincing slightly after doubling over with pain at Fred's mis-hit) That's... quite all right... Fred... You ARE a beater, after all... (suddenly snaps back into action on realising what Goyle's said about his beloved broom) Over-grown w... ? OVER-GROWN WEED? WHY YOU LITTLE CRO-MAGNON. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT TULULA. I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT, YOU SLIMEY SLYTHERIN, YOU! (swings Tulula the broom like a cricket bat and hits Goyle for a six right through one of the windows) Blimey, I've never been much for Muggle sport, but there you go.

George: Good shot Oliver! Of course I forgive you, my loveable brother. To the Quidditch Pitch!

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