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Yoshi Troubles
By Mario Fan

It was midnight, and a quiet blanket of warm, fuzzy stuff had descended upon the crazed town of Mushroom Kingdom. Minus a few Mushroom juice-ridden mushrooms, the town was relatively quiet. Then, it happened: the old Mushroom Express pulled into the town’s depot. “Tweet!” screamed the train’s whistle as it screeched to a halt. The doors opened…and out stepped a familiar figure. “Yoshi!”

Early the next morning, around 5 o’ clock, Bowser was doing his routine exercises, causing uphostery to rip itself from the walls. “You see, Kamek, exercising is the life for me…no longer will Peach disgust me. She’ll adore my, uh,” Bowser checked the back of the DVD’s container, “6-pack abs and rock-hard buns…sounds good, huh?”

Kamek tasted bile in his throat. “Uh, yeah, sure. Anyway, I was looking over the Mushroom Express passenger list and…”

“Hey! Don’t bore me with detailed facts. You know how I hate to be challenged mentally. Now, hold my legs; it’s sit-up time. Yeehaw!”

“I’m afraid not, Sire.”

Bowser stood up half-way before his eyes bulged and he screamed a hideous cry, “AHHHHH!!! A cramp…my back! Help me, Kamek…please!”

Kamek shook his head, completely forgetting about his previous business. “Tsk, tsk, Lord Bowser. It looks like Betty will have to take care of you.”

Bowser’s eyes bulged over again, this time blood vessels were clearly visible. “B…Betty? Oh my fungi! Please, don’t let me die…”

He was interrupeted when the castle shook heavily, the apparels in the room tumbling to the stone floor. Suddenly, an overwhelmingly obese mushroom female stomped into the room, at least 5 times Bowser’s size. “Well, looks like you be needing Betty’s help once again, eh, Bowse?”

“No! Please, don’t take me!” Bowser started to cry.

Kamek shook his head and looked up at Betty. “Take him away.”

“NOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

The castle was a mess, and Yoshi was the cause of that. The air was filled with one question: Is that tasty?

“No, Yoshi! Don’t eat my beautiful…No! My prized…Aggghhhh! That was my…NO!!!!” Peach turned to Mario. “This is all your fault, you fat, lazy plumber. Yoshi is a menace, and he eats everything!”

Mario caught Yoshi walking up to Toad with a doofish grin on his face. “Hello, my name is Toad. Welcome back, Sir Yoshi!”

Yoshi twisted his green head in a quizzical manner. “Toad, is that tasty?” Yoshi threw out his tongue and swallowed the surprised mushroom in one gulp.

“Uh, well, he’s only here for a week.”

“A WEEK! He’ll have the whole da…I mean…dang kingdom eaten. We’ll all be eaten! Are you crazy?”

“No, but I can dance…does that help?”

“NO!”

Yoshi walked over to Mario. “Hello, Mario…Mario…is that tasty?”

Peach screamed as the plumber was devoured.

Bowser sat in Kamek’s room in a state of shock. “I’m so sorry, Sire. I didn’t know she would pull your leg off like that…does the Scotch tape help?”

Bowser looked over at Kamek, his eye twitching. “Hehe…I like naners…they’re good to eat…wahahaha…apple sauce!”

Kamek whacked him with a mallet. “Ok, back to plan C.”

The troopas brought in Betty, getting ready for another treatment.

“Yum, citizens good for Yoshi to eat.”

“No, Yoshi, citizens not good to eat…neither is the castle…you’ve eaten everything except me!”

Yoshi turned around, his eyes rolling over white and then turning blood red. “Peach…is that tasty?”

Peach saw a trap door underneath his feet (how convenient), so she pulled it.

Bowser, who now was missing two legs, blood running profusely from both sockets, screamed as Betty neared. “Now, Bowse, yousa gonna’ have good time with ol’ Betty!”

Suddenly, Yoshi appeared through a trap door and ate Betty in one bite. “Yum…Peach tasty and plump…good for Yoshi to eat!”

Kamek stood up. “Yoshi!”

Bowser threw himself on the floor beside a surprised Kamek. “Thank-you Yoshi.”

As they both looked into his eyes, however, they saw they were devoid of anything except a powerful craving…for food. He slowly turned his head towards them and twisted it all the way around. “Kamek, Bowser…is that tasty?”

Fine

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Page Updated Sat Aug 16, 2003 4:56pm EDT