 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Funny Things
SchoolMake People LaughJokes
Redneck JokesJo Mamma JokesThe Rules Of CombatPublic Bathroom JokesBlonde JokesMore Blonde JokesEven More Blonde JokesBumper Stickers50 Ways To Scare People50 Things To Do In An Elevator101 ThingsBlind Date JokesFunny PicturesChildrens Books You'll Never SeeBar JokesPolitical JokesAdult JokesGay JokesDear SantaGetto ChristmasGame Systems
MicrosoftX BoxMe Help You, You Help Me
I Will Carry Your BannerPicture Gallery
Britney SpearsChristina AguileraFunny AnimationsOther Sites
Free Email AddressAsinine Story LinesVGREALMSMusicTMOD Music|
|
| More Blonde Jokes |
| ||||||
| Even more blonde jokes:Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road? A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . . Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? A: Far-from-thinkin Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna. Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A: She slipped off and fell down the drain. Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the Blonde Joke List. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina? A1: The Blonde! A2: The other guys waiting their turn. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'? A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.' Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!" Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group? A: Air Supply. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ? A: A blond electrician Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A1: So brunettes can remember them. A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde ???? A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children! Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her? Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? A: The Air Pump! Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes? A: Peroxide. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg. A: Nothing - they've never met. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say "No". Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear? A: Data transfer. Q: Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Supermarket Trolley. A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers? A: They can't keep their calves together! Q: What was the blond psychic's greatest achievment? A: An IN-body experience! Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ? A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?" Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A: Cause she blows the horn!!!!! Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A: She kept having affairs with men! Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A: She picks up her purse and goes home. Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first? A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade 4. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod... Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together! Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?" Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman? A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? A: They both drip when they're fucked. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry! Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!" Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." Q: HOW DOES A BLONDE PREPARE FOR SAFE SEX? A: She puts on rubber based lipstick. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door. Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test? A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A blonde parade. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe. Q: THERE WAS A BLONDE AND A BRUNETTE WHO WERE ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. THEY BOTH JUMPED OFF A TALL BUILDING, AND A COUPLE OF SECONDS LATER, THE BRUNETTE HIT THE PAVEMENT, BUT NOT THE BLONDE. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? A: She got lost. Q: A GUY ASKED HIS BLONDE WIFE "HOW DID YOU GET THE CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM"? A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left." Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A BLONDE BELEIVED IN SMOKING. A: She said "Yes, I've seen it done." I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test." "Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy. "Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter. The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!" "That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying turf across the street. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the blonde who: had more on her body than on her mind? was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean? took an hour to cook Minute Rice? got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up? was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient? had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs? thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates? was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat? after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls? went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker? brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender: Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!" There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?" "He was on top ", she replied. "You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed. The second woman was asked the same question. "I was on top ", was the reply. "you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor. With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears. "Whats the matter ?" asked the doc. "Am I going to have puppies ?"..... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blondes... They take a lickin', and keep on... Lickin! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Over the weekend I(can't remember name - on newsgrazer) heard a blonde telling this joke: * *Blonde Asks: What do you call a blonde in between two brunettes? *Blonde Answers: An interprolater! * *We were laughing so hard we thought we were going to die. The funny *part was that she thought we were laughing at her joke. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home. On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?..." "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh, duh! Here it is..." "May I have your car insurance?" "What's that?..." "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..." The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims:"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well, if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.? Blonde: I don't know. Why? Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Three blondes were walking through the desert when found a magic genie's lamp t he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter". So she became a redhead. The second blonde said "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a brunette. The third blond said "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Confucious say: blonde who fly upside down have crack up. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes later, she reappears at the car wash yelling, "who ripped off my car phone!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Last night I went home to my blonde girlfriend, and told her I was going to screw her brains out. Then I realized I was too late. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A blonde is suffering froma sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his torch and says "Open wide". "I can't," replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde friend of mine was looking for some transportation, so I bought her a Woody. I called her up later and asked how she like it. She told me it was OK, but that it didn't look so good once she had taken it out of the crate. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice safe sex). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How much for a box of rubbers?" "They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax." "Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| Michigan |
 kidrokc12@aol.com |
 Sign Guestbook |
View Guestbook |
|
. |
| Visitors: 00850 |