Pokemon Yellow review - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/hbdragon882/yellow

PokeLovers United flatly says that Pokemon haters will get enemies, period. Well, that’s all rubbish. I have a friend, who has Pokemon Yellow, Blue, Gold, and Sliver, and Pokemon Stadium 2, and he was more than willing to let me borrow Yellow to analyze it and to break it down, and the results are stunning. This most resembles the bad morals page. Since this is the first game I’ve actually sat down and played, it gets more interesting. This is a critical review of Pokemon Yellow.

This review is very long, so if you’re impatient, here’s the quick lowdown: it’s boring, easy, and not as fun. The replay value is nonexistent, and is riddled with flaws. As a whole, it’s more competitive than it is role-playing. Read below for the long, lengthy, explanation.

Most games I test go through a rigorous test. I play them at least an hour a day for however long I feel and watch if they crumble under the pressure of over-playing. My other games, like Tetris DX and Super Mario Brothers Deluxe don’t give me the sudden burst of “I like this!” but in the long run, they successfully keep me playing. Yellow, on the other hand, is way too easy, has little replay value, and isn’t worth thirty dollars to buy it.

The most aggravating thing that comes up is that you have to walk out into tall grass to get Professor Oak to scream and say that it’s not safe to go into there. He catches a Pikachu and then guides you inside, where he gives you the PokeBall that’s right there on the table. Then—and most astonishing of all—Gary comes right up, pushes you out of the way, and takes the PokeBall, and you’re stuck with and Eeevee. That’s not polite, and I was astonished.

Later after getting that parcel package for Professor Oak, Gary comes bursting in, and Pokedexes are both awarded to you and Gary. Then Gary just says, “Ha! I’ll tell my sister not to give you one!” So impolite, but when you get the map from his sister, it’s so dumb cause you say you’re running an errand for Oak.

The worst thing about Pokemon is that you have to buy a magazine guide, trade with a friend, or check up on the Internet, or you can’t go anywhere! I’m stuck trying to beat Brock at Pewter City cause I don’t have a water Pokemon. Talk about a reliance on other sources! Worst, you can’t get through the Seafoam Islands without a guide.

Using special attacks on the enemy Pokemon is really stupid. For one thing, I was using a Pikachu, using the so-called “Thunder Wave” and the little game said the enemy Pokemon was fully paralyzed. And guess what? The next round, Pikachu got hit with a gust when the enemy was supposedly paralyzed! Still, Pikachu won and the enemy fainted. But that’s so cheap.

Fainting brings another interesting paradox here. In an average Pokemon trainer’s life, they may face thousands of battles, and probably have fainted all of them. Where do those fainted Pokemon go? They just lay on the ground, near death? When they faint, why can’t they be caught? Oh they just simply disappear back into the wilderness. Well, not for a big sloth like Snorlax, who’s such a pig, eating more and sleeping even more. Give me a reason for that. Absolutely unconvincing that he “disappeared up into the mountains.”

Bringing a Pikachu to the front of the line means that it’s subjected to more fighting. Once, after Pikachu shocked several Pokemon and fainted them, I turned and looked at Pikachu’s little expression and it was happy! That’s right, honest-to-god happy! How can anyone—any human or even a Pokemon—be happy after attacking and literally killing your own kind? That means you’re not decent. You don’t have a heart. You don’t care about others. Exactly, Pikachu is despicable.

The most shocking part of Pokemon I discovered was the Pokemon Safari Zone. Do you know what you do? You fork over five hundred pounds and with thirty Safari balls and only five hundred steps you can take, you throw balls and Pokemon like sitting ducks. The worst thing that could ever occur in a game as poorly designed as Pokemon. You can do four things, 1) throw a Safari ball, 2) throw bait, 3) throw a rock, and 4) run. It’s like torture! Imprisonment, maybe that’s the word! They’re like sitting ducks, to put it bluntly.

In an ironic twist, Diglett (or Dugtrio) can dig up, not just down. During the sting to rid Team Rocket in the Sliph complex in Saffron City, you can use dig and dig your way out. Excuse me, that just doesn’t sound right. Just thought you’d like to know.

Pikachu can be paralyzed and still attack. Any Pokemon can be paralyzed and still attack. What the hell is with this? I paralyzed a Pigeotto and it still attacked!

Since some Pokemon can’t be found, however you search, forcing you to become reliant on either the stupid computer trades or your friends. What kind of game is it when it’s not even independent of everything? It’s Game Boy Color, for gosh sakes. When you’re forced to trade, forget it being portable—it’s something else now.

The Rocket Playground is a gambling place. That’s right, a gambling place where you can spend all day racking up the slots. Gambling! What in hell is Pokemon trying to do? States in the U.S. ban people twenty-one years old and younger from gambling; Pokemon is defying this safeguard. And you have to gamble to get Pokemon too. You can’t get a Porygon in the wild. Another faulty mechanism of Pokemon Yellow.

That Clefairy is rare is all rubbish. I biked through Mt. Moon twice and saw Clefairy four times, and caught them two out of the four. I also found three Moon stones—they say it’s rare? Get real, Gamefreak!

Little if any originality is incorporated when battling trainers. Always the same kinds: Poke-manic, Super Nerd, Lass, Rocket, Youngster, Scientist, Biker, Cue Ball, Gambler, Electrician, Gentleman, Tamer, Cool Trainer, and Jr. Trainer female and male are the only ones you battle. Sure, there’s Jesse and James from Team Rocket, Givonni, and Gary, but you see those so many times it’s really no longer fun to battle against them anymore. Plus the fact that you battle Gary seven times and Team Rocket (Jesse and James) three times.

What’s with having to teach Pokemon TMs (and HMs)? There are so many TMs that it can get tired and boring. There are at least forty—I picked up half of them in the Team Rocket Headquarters and the Silph Scope complex. My friend says there’s over 200. It gets even more pathetic because Pokemon can learn only four moves, so you have to delete one. Is that wrong or what?

Lastly, the game is way too easy. I collected all eight badges, caught seventy-one Pokemon, collected forty or so TMs (and all the HMs), and defeated every Rocket in Silph Scope and the headquarters, and defeated nearly every trainer in two weeks. It took me just an hour to infiltrate and defeat Givonni in Silph Scope. I captured the so-called legendary birds and defeated all the Elite Four and Gary in a little more than an hour. Now, if that’s hard, I don’t believe it. Then it gets dull and boring.

Well, there’s a long review. Does anyone wants to counter my review? I’d be more than pleased to read your guestbook entries (or bombs). What’s next in store? Stadium1/Stadium 2, Snap, Pokemon Puzzle Challenge, maybe, are the next reviews in line. I’m dropping the Gold/Sliver review because I’ve already done the first three [Game Boy Color reviews].

Copyright Info (6/22/02):

All pages and text are the copyright of HBdragon88. Do not post this on any site for any reason, except where I give my written consent (see below to e-mail me about this). This info is not to be used on ANY Anti-Anti-Pokemon or Pokemon sites. No info is to be stolen and be used commercially and/or for private use, it is to stay on this site. Being dodgy won't help you; I will find you eventually, whether it's a tip-off from one of my friends or I personally find it. Don't even think about it.

windyaso-ap@yahoo.com

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Page Updated Sat Jul 27, 2002 11:26pm EDT