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| Pokemon Obsession |
| Are you obsessed? |
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| This page takes Pokemon Obsession to the limit. These first two are ones that in my heart know can be friends even with Pokemon lovers. Automatically hating lovers/haters just because of their stance on Pokemon is discrimination. But, you have a minor obsession with Pokemon if you do the following… Lesser things: • You just dislike Anti-Pokemon websites • You are satisfied with the cards you have • Your knowledge of Pokemon just extends to the first 150+ Pokemon • You are irate at Anti-Pokemon sites, but you don’t bombard them immediately; instead you read their sites and admit if they’re correct • Your hatemail (if any) is on the “smart hatemail” page of Anti-Pokemon sites • Despite the fact that you admire Ash, you think that he should take responsibility and just give Misty a damn bike • You buy a magazine guide to save time when going through Victory Road, Seafoam Island caves, or Union Cave • You’re not ashamed that it took you more than 30 hours to beat the game • Despite that fact that your friend has rarer cards than you, you don’t make a big deal out of it • You don’t boast and be arrogant if you have better cards than your friend does • You can be friends even without Pokemon • You budget your own money to buy cards and games • Instead of buying all of the expansions, you just limit yourself to a few games, not Red, Blue, Yellow, Gold, and Sliver – just Gold and Red or something else • You judge Anti-Pokemon sites indiscriminately – not automatically bad-mouthing the site instantly • You talk to Anti-Pokemon owners and fans even though they hate Pokemon More obsessive things • You enter Staples to find no trading card holders and you whirl in frustration that you must have more – or else your will have to stack your cards in piles • You must have a first edition Charizard; you can’t bear to have just a regular one • You can memorize all of the 250+ Pokemon • Visiting Pokemon.com is a must when going online • You get irritated when your friend boasts that he has rarer cards than you • You laugh that Lass or Jr. Trainer for challenging you to battles, because their Pokemon suck so much • You know when each Pokemon evolves at which level and which moves it learns at each level • Pushing all the boulders in the Seafoam Island caves is no big deal; it’s easy to do that • You refuse to teach Flash to your Pokemon because you know it’s useless • You spend ten minutes relishing diving into a Pokemon guide • At least 50 hours of time is logged onto your Pokemon game • You can beat Givonni in Silph Scope in less than an hour • You instantly know that “Mist,” “Flash,” and “Reflect” are lame attacks • Every Pokemon hater who has their AIM/AOL, Yahoo, or Hotmail screen name public is on your buddy list • You hang out in Anti-Pokemon boards and check often on Anti-Pokemon sites, waiting for them to display their e-mail address or have a guestbook • You know that you can have a “No Pokemon week” and still be a fan These are the last two pieces of Pokemon Obsession. If you are any of these, I pity you. Really truly pity you. Pokemon has taken over your life and is a part of it, not just a hobby. I wish you the most of luck in snapping out Pokemon to just a hobby. Extreme obsession! • You scream at the Staples employee, “Why don’t you have any trading card holders!” ten minutes after you said the same thing • You have reserved a copy of all the new upcoming games, “Pokemon Advance,” “Pokemon Sapphire,” and “Pokemon Ruby” so you can boast to your friends • Battling it out on link-cable against your friend is something you have to do at least every week • You’ve asked your parents daily to re-paint your room in a Pokemon motif • You life revolves around Pokemon, not the other way around • You are willing to spend an hour to look through a Pokemon guide • Anti-Pokemon sites automatically get you angry • You flame Anti-Pokemon sites before you read their sites • You just don’t support Anti-Anti-Pokemon, you have your own site • You are inclined to think that Anti-Pokemon owner are not real humans; thus you insult them, harass them, and attempt to sabotage their reputation • You know the percentage that an attack is likely to hit, how much damage it does if resistant, normal, or super effective • You know each and every TM • You know that there’s over 400 episodes of Pokemon • You keep on thinking that it will only take you 20 hours to beat the game, and you haven’t yet after 10 re-starts • You call Nintendo tech support and rage over the phone when your game accidentally restarts • You are proud that that unfortunate tech support guy had to get his hearing checked after you were done raging over him • You can ride through the Rock Tunnel without Flash • You try every so-called “trick” to get a “PikaBlue” • You can walk around, know each teleport and each Team Rocket, and beat Givonni in Silph Scope in less than half an hour • You go on at certain times to fiercely attack Pokemon haters • You actually have been able to get 1,000,000 pounds to buy a bike (instead of getting a bike voucher) • You multiply every item you have through that glitch to pump up your Pokemon • You take the chance of ruining the game and the Game Boy when you use that Seafoam Island glitch • You blame Anti-Pokemon if your game goes bad • You don’t think – you know – that Ash is going to fall in love with Misty Too Far • Like on the commercial, you dress up your dog as a Pikachu and throw a PokeBall at it because you want a real Pokemon • You play “Hey you Pikachu” more than you play with your dog • You’ve watched the Indigo episodes so much that you can turn down the volume and you know what happens and the conversation just before they say it • Your soccer team is called “The Pikachus” and your chant is, “POKEMON! POKEMON! POKEMON!” • You babble “Pika, pika, Pikachu!” at snack times to show your enthusiasm for eating snack • You drool on the glass at the grocer’s freezer when you see Pokemon frozen food • You wear Pokemon underwear everyday so you can feel so close to Ash and Pikachu • The only swim trunks you have are of Pokemon cartoons • You wish (if you’re a boy) that you could go out with Misty • You think that Ash is so cute (if you’re a girl) • You have created a secret society called the Shunned Pokemon Lovers, and in it you relish about Pokemon • The Shunned Pokemon Lovers society takes place inside a shed in an abandoned house, with flashlights and all • Half the members of the Shunned Pokemon Lovers society have left because they will no longer tolerate a dirty floor, no bathrooms, and barely any light • You have every version of the Neo cards: Destiny, Geneses, Discovery, and Revelation • You beat upon your former friends that have dropped Pokemon for the newest hit “Yu-Gi-Oh” • Reexamining your life has became a daily process, not just a once in a while thing • You know that you cannot survive much longer without any satisfaction of beating a trainer in the Pokemon game • You use your parent’s money (wasting it!) • Pity is something that everybody has for you |
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