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| Time to shift gears to new realitys |
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| Now is the time to self apraise your real possibilities UP date Dec 9,2003 |
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| Since things have changed you must redirect your life | The turning point to reality is acceptance of the way you are now. |
 In fairness to your future and those living about you you must recognize the body changes this MS has brought on.This is especially true for us un either PPMS or SPMS. When we push it out of mind and out of sight,we in a way are in denial of reality. It does you no good to cry about why.It is what it is and you really know the chances of reversal especially in the SPMS or PPMS are not in our favor. I don't mean to abandion my traditional attitude of being Mr.Happymspage.I still believe as I have always.We are as happy as we chose to be.I remember the day early in my beginning MS days.My first neuro noted how poor my gait seem to him as I came in the office.I was using a cane then. "I have been watching you get off the bus and wobble into my office.Your gait is way off and it must be very hard for you to walk without undue added fatigue" The bus stop was right outside his office and apparently he had time to be watching me come of the bus and up the walk to the front door to his office . I was apparently his first patient of the day,as i usually liek to do with most doctors.But to tell you the truth I was already feeling fatigued and I had just had breakfast before catching the bus down to his office next to the hospital. He proceeded with my usual exam of my movements.I don't need to get into that as all of you probably get the same exam in your neuro's office. Then he said to me "its time for you to switch to crutches,. Your gait is deterated to the point the cane really isn't enough.I'm gong to sent one of my persons(help) over to the hospital supply and secure a pair of crutches for you. I'll send Janet and she should be back in just a few moments with your crutches. I want you to just try them for two weeks and then come back.have a appointment made for two weeks from today .If you don't agree with me that you need crutches then your cane will still be here waiting for you." This was the time for me to accept a new reality.I really knew deep down my gait had deterated,But it took someone else to suggest what I had to do. In only a few moments Janet did return with my new crutches.She gave me a few directions and sent me off.Actually I was no new commer to crutches as i had used them only a few years ago with my broken tibia. I left the doctor's office,and wondered if the doctor 's estimate of my gait be wrong.No I think he sees me exacxtly for what I have turned into,a crip.Althought as polite as he always was he would never state it that way. On my way back home ,I wondered what my wife would say when she got home from work. She will be shocked.would it change our martial bliss? Then at the usual time she drove in our drive.My heart started to race as I really feared her reaction,which I though would be the worst. She surprised me."The doctor finally suggested you need more help walking." I really didn't want to say it myself as I knew you would probably say I didn't know what i was talking about." I was relieved she had acceptance better than I had of my condition.In the days that came after that time I came to realize my condition really did need some more help to get about and teh crutches were there to stay to this day. that was over 18years ago. |
 UPDATE Dec.9,2003 Many persons have written to me with their stories and how they handle the need for crutches and or braces.All have said that when you finally realize these are the reason we get along in life and create a life style to let them crutches and or braces make the playing field just a bit more level so we now move about with more graceful moves and live a fuller life.we have stopped worrying about our image to others and then suddenly start to realize when we forget our image it changes to others too.RET I pointed out my personal story of my change from a cane to crutches as an example of reality check I was forced into by my most wise doctor.He really was the best neuro in Akron .I valued his oppinion and he had spoken.I had agreed to his proposal to try the crutches for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks I too realized I was better off with the forearm crutches.They really were just about the same as a cane but just a bit different. My meeting with the doctor was brief.he asked me if I would keep the crutches I said yes a few comments were exchanged and then he closed off the brief visit.I left and and a new appointment was made for 4 months from then. My first time as I appeared to various groups with the crutches was actually the hardest.The first time at church ,I got the acceptance i expected and was surprised when a close church friend said'I think you are getting about better than you have done'That was graet to hear.I really needed reassurance my path was right. Acceptance in your mind brings a feeling that you are getting on with your life. You still have to do a lot of mental hops to really accept the fact that you are different from the able bodied person. From that time on I was able to repair the mental stigma of being an obvious "CRIP" Its hard and it wouldn't jsut happen until you think outside the box.or should I say think outside your builtin rejection of your old self image. I soon met others from otgher leg defecencies that needed crutches because of polio, CP, simple spinal problems not solved by ordinary surgery or other with botched surgery. One such friendly woman a few years old that myself was astude enough to spot me in a hardware store and read on my face my troubled soul as a crip. She came up and said," I see you are new to crutches.Then she smiled It made me feel good right then here is a kindred spirit willing to discuss the long term problems of being obviously a disabled person. She was proud of her then rather unique folding crutches.She noted my interest too. Then she said I hate to just stand here as I'm getting shaky on my feet ,Lets go over to the restaurant next door and get some coffee.Do you have the time? Yes I have all the time in the world since I'm now retired at an early age.Then as we walked out she told me she too had retired at 51 with near full benifits. The next hour just sitting with her was relaxing as we discussed the life style of being different. I would see this same lady many times after that as she invited me to the county wide "pandisibilities club" It met once a month in a local restaurant that seem to cater to individuals with handicaps.It was diffrent that what the multiple sclerosis support group had been as long term acceptance was more the order of the day.all the speakers at monthy dinners were always up beat.Like once we had Miss Wheelchair Ohio. she had been one of my students. I was disapointed in my dad's suggestion when i met him about one week after beinging the rest of my life on crutches.He said as we sat on his porch discussing it. "I think your doctor made a mistake,you could probably get by with a cane." I had to immediately disagree with him and tell hime I could feel the difference. We both agreed to drop the topic and go on to another .But his attidude contined to fester inside me. Unfortunately he got sicker himself and died in a few months after that. |
| Learning to start reloving yourself | Once you pick up on real activies you can manage |
| After you have dropped down in mobility or some other disapointing body challenge We tend to loose internal mental inertia.Our self esteam seems to sink.All we do is now different.We have to first convince our own brain .Yes I'm still the same person minus the disability.I can still walk,its slower,maybe my distance walking will also be shorter. But I still love to fish, take photos,paint and draw. Review the things you still can do and love to do and go do them.In my frist few months of crutches adaption to my mobility,I did just that my friend in the hardware who had used crutches for years suggested I do two things .First get the money to buy the folding crutches.She had given me the pamplet from the company in Seattle.I really at that moment in my life didn't have the money so I saved the pamplet for when I did have the money. The second thing she told me was go do what you still can do and do it to your heart's content. Forget the past as it was and don't keep crying about it. I went out and started to do just that I had a sketch book,enroled in an art class of painting and went loyally every week for the lessons.I also learned to carry the painting supplies from the car to the school room were the class met every Monday.It all helped me in my adjustment. Next I concentrated on going regularly out to a near by lake that had great fishing.The shore line was easy to walk,and again I learned to carry the fishing gear from the car to the shore.you also learn to fish with less equipment. Soon after my next visit to my doctor he suggested I think about getting a scooter.While I didn't say anything to his face.I mentally thought I really didn't need it.He still wrote out a prescription for the scooter. I just foldedit away in my pocket and later mentioned it to my wife.She could see I was negative to a scooter.But that next summer we took a trip to Michigan.I had no thought of getting a scooter.But some how we ended up in Bridgeport Michigan. this is the home to Amigo scooters.I agreed to visit the factory and see what they had.I soon was offered a scooter to ride about the factor as we toured it. Honestly I inwarly felt it was a great feeling riding in the Amigo scooter.At the end of the tour the salesman'or actuallly the owner of the company succeeded in telling my wife how happy I would be with this scooter.We hadn't even brought the prescription with us.But he said eithe rmail it or fax it to us. He sold it to my wife ,it was charged to our master card and she said we would process the paper work throught the Insurance company.The scooter was loaded into our station wagen. Once home I actually wanted to get it out and zip about the community.I was hooked on its convience,and my feeling of well being just guiding it.The day I took it for a spin in the neigborhood I didn't return for the next two hours. The mental hop had been made and the Amigo scooter litterly did become my amigo. from then on to the present day I'm still enjoying the extension of travel the scooter gives me. My present scooter has been in many countries ,cruises ,at least 25 states and stadiums.I always find it the most comfortable seat in the house.Its my Magic Carpet to Travel. Bit by bit my mental attitude accepts the fact life is still good but I also realize I can't do it like I did it once .The scooter ,crutches and now the braces make my life really easier and happier. Staying home and brooding about it is mental poison. |
The past is over and the new reality of our disability is recognized.We are now armed with the proper impliments to make walking or mobility possible.We accept these devices as "real friends" and not something we believe to be unvogue and something we hate to show in public. Your present time is prolog to your future.Don't mortage your happiness by denial of what you have found necessary. Activies for easy management soon take such a position in your life that joy begins to flow in your veins and happyness is now shown on your face daily.I would love to hear from you all and discuss the new activies that have displaced the old ones. RET1000@aol.com |
| Eileen Lukeman and Richard Tanner | FL. | Eileen(Lobosgirl) and Richard (RET1000) both at aol.com |
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