The hazards of marriage and having MS - You have any control about aquiring MS but it will affect everything - Personal - http://maxpages.com/happymspage/Marriage_and_Your

In any marriage the threat of crronic sickness,like MS,especially progressive MS
is hazardous to your marriage.
First you will probably loose the sex urge,second your body may not fit the image
society has planted in many unthinking American minds.
The general image projected by the media will usually prevail in the mind.
It affects the male as well as the female.It is everywhere in our society.
The straping ,hunk of a male,and the sexy slim,and active female.
There isn't any room in some people's mind for a crip in their world.Many even have
trouble talking to you if you are "lower than them "in a wheelchair.
The number of times disabled appear on the media is few and when they do it's driping wit sympathy.

Disability isn't a planned even,and in many people's mind something too difficult
to deal with.
What do you do with a spouse in a wheelchair?or one using a cane or walker.What about
an ugly brace? The devotees may be happy to see you but most are glad when you leave.
What can be done? Dancing is no more,neither is going golfing or in may cases camping
is out.
I have noticed on cruises,I'm a clumbsy item for many to talk with.They are afraid
they will hurt your feelings.Spouses see this also.It makes them almost a crip or one
with a crip.If your spouse is not hard shelled then it will get to him or her.The hims
are usually the most effected and most likely to seek fun and excitment when your back is
turned.
The chances of them running from the marriage compact is better than 60%.

Both Eileen and myself have very understanding spouses,other wise we wouldn't attempt
to write this essay.
My wife was the one who first suggested I get a scooter in my early days after
being dx. She is the one who will say I look tired and need rest.She will save me from
situations she thinks I can't handle.She will open the door when we go any where and
listen for the sound of my crutch hitting the door to block it,and then she goes on in,
knowing I will then be able to manage the heavy spring door.
Yes I can handle the door myself if I have to but when she does it ,it's just another
sign of her love coming through.
We still have a very great life together.we have adapted to both of our disabilities.she has her breathing problems and heart problems and I have my walking and gait problems. The marriage is solid and adjusted to new surprises.

Many MS affected persons have been able to save their marriage.They have done so by
being very frank with each other.It can be worked out.

WHAT MY WIFE AND I HAVE DONE! It works!
She has become quite a card player and goes to tournments to compete.Some of these
tournments are several days in length. She also plays much in our town during the week.
We have two days a week we try to do something together.The rest of the time we are much
appart and doing our own thing.I'm on the computer much of the time,as it's one of the
few activies my body can take for hours. I also paint and try to get out and about in town
once a day.I usuallly go swimming and exaust myself doing my 1/4 mile swim almost daily.
If you are not in each other's hair all day it helps.
My wife is tolerent of my disability,if not down right supportive,as she always has been.
I'm supportive of her disabilities and her desire to play cards nearly all the time.
It works out nicely.
She is well aware of my progressive Ms and where it might go in the future.
I too know of her disability in her heart and know where it could lead in the future.
So for us it's till death do us part.

Eileen Lukeman and Richard Tanner

FL.

Eileen(Lobosgirl) and Richard (RET1000) both at aol.com

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Page Updated Mon Mar 9, 2009 11:28am EST