For MS Men Only - Be active ,be happy and be goal setting even with MS! - Personal - http://maxpages.com/happymspage/For_men

NEW UPDATE April 1,2008
Being happy even with a disasterous disease will show that you are a goal setter and still think of control inspite of your physical mobility peoblems.
My doctors all three of them know i'm strong as possible even though I'm
a wheelchair user. I will not let weak legs and massive fatigue stop me from doing and going. I have been told ever since I begun doing trips back in 1988 to ;
" always use either your scooter or wheelchair on all trip as you will get far less tired,
remain in control, and probably succeed at your activies while on the trip.
Many in my condition will not trust themselves to do things on their own but really I get thrills doing things and activies solo and succeeding on my own efforts.

Who gets the best sex?
An ablebodied person or a disabled person?
That is an easy question.the disabled person realizes how hard it is to do anyway so he/she will be more appreciative when it comes off.
There have been studies of this and people in wheelchairs usually can be very happy and grateful partners in a sexual encounter.
When one of the partners in the sex act is super excited it follows the other one will catch the spirit.

Any able bodied person either Male or female who has had sex with a disabled sexual partner will remember how great it was and this is what they seek again.But Men or women you also have to dress ther part.Don't just be a blob in a wheelchair .It pays to advertize.

About a month ago I changed my diet from red meat to only
fish and occassionall chicken.Red meat is out!!! I still eat lots of veggies,and fruits.
Take 2 Saw Palmetto capsules a day,also add some Zinc tablets,I do only a half a tablet or 25mg a day.
My sexual life has increased. I still find if I take it easy and do too much walking in the day I'm ready at night. But we have to always remember sex and a HARD one! is all attitude.
The oil in fish especially salmon is what I think does it.
I have also noted my progression has stopped ,but I still take betaseron,still need my crutches and braces to walk.I'm really not so dumb as to expect my MS disability and
muscles to work better as the nerve damage is extensive.

But still I do better taking a one hour nap every afternoon,using my scooter or wheelchair for distances over 2 hundred feet,they my mind and body stays fresher and so
does my sexual ability
The odd thing is I have a friend in another state who told me recently via an e-mail
that he tried exactly what I tried and he too is doing some sex but is is gay sex.
He too has been in his wheelchair full time now 3 years.
Actually he thinks that gay sex is easier to keep it hard longer than the other .
RET

I have had the chance to discuss this at length with 4 different people.Two women
and two men.Not all are MSer but all are severely disabled,requiring at least a brace and cane.Up to two in wheelchairs .The forth one also like myself uses crutches.
The two women both lost their hubbys,both are in their 60s The one to natural death
but the other through divorce.The divorced woman has been either separated or divorced
now 11 years. In many cases women even disabled ones know how to live successfully along
better than many men.

May 18,2001 Hot topic! Do women with a husband cheat on their MS affected husband
I have had some e-mail about this topic.Naturally only the ones who think that there
wife is cheating on them bother to write.
If the shoe were on the other foot,we find a greater % of men cheating on their Disabled
wife.In my rather long MS career of 21 years I have known quite a few men cheating on
their MS affected wives.The more disabled the more they cheated.In fact right now I know
of a case where the wife has been a wheelchair user for several years and he is putting
in a lot of overtime on a salary job. I recently saw him at a bar with a young chick
about 1/2 his age.He tried not to recognize I was there,and I didn't push it any further.

The leaving your spouse in the MS community is more common that in the general population You may ask why? But that is easy to see as the other partner is afraid how far this disease will go.How bed ridden will she get.?It's usually the female MS affected
that get the walk out of marrage .But it has happened to men too,not on such a big scale
But then too there are almost twice as women affected with MS than men.
I have wondered in my own case since my wife spends a lot of time away from the home.
She just returned from a short week with the Gals in a condo on the beach.she doesthis about three times a year inaddition to a short and sometimes a whole week at a bridge tournment.What can happen on such events.I really don't know.
I can't afford to have an fling with a woman and get caught.She could extract a lot of
money from me in a divorice.I get the monthly check on retirement,she don't.I thin we
still love each other . But with my huge increased in my spinal plaques in the lumbar
section I have lost all ability to have an erection.I'm almost not walking.
One posting recently a woman not on the MS bboards but on another disabled web site
a woman admitted to loving this man in a wheelchair but be couldn't satisfy her sexually.Being paralized you just don't get erections.Most of us in SPMS also have a very hard time doing it.

Bladder control & incontinence.
The topic isn't one that thrills me but it seems many of us have it
I started have problems very early in my MS. Recently I have discovered a system i like
go look at the device at www.urinedevice.com It probably the best thing on the market today.The reason I like so device is the ease of emptying it. I'm a nut on drinking
lots of water for it benefits.well you know the rest.RET

UPDATE Jan.4,2001 I was just asked by a friend of mine who
just happens to be a "shrink', psychoanalist. "What was or is your
worse time of your life." The question is very soul searching.

But I didn't think more than 20 seconds to answer,"The two years
I was forced to be in the army"Then he asked why do you think so?
I had the least control over my life and life style in all 66years.
He thought I would say the day I discovered I had progressive Ms
as my worst time.While this wasn't a day to be celebrated, ther are
a few others that are worse.
Many would have thought my day I entered the wheelchair was the worst.
But it isn't even on the list. I have more energy to do the things
I want to do. I'm still very chipper and happy. My disposition
is much better than when I was still struggling to walk.People who
really know me can see the difference.
My friend after a bit more questions , said '"I agree you are
better off now that the last time I saw you in May of this year.
You had a hell of a struggle just to get from the waiting room
to my office.You were always tired and you looked about 10 years
older with the strain lines on your face.

.
I don't know about you but I'm still ahving fun. We had
a great new years bash and went th ethe dinner theater
in Orlando. I probably ate and drank too much, but the show
was great.
Do you have plans for 2001? No I don't mean resolutions
which very few keep. I mean things you want to do. Wake up
and stop letting MS get in the way.Everyone should make
a new years wish too. Mine is to get out of this wheelchair
Maybe I'm wishing for too Much. I should say I hope for
fun and life enjoyment from where I sit.RET

Do you feel that your manlyness
is at stake with your MS and maybe it's ugly progression?
Naturally you probably have a positive reaction to this
question.But what are you going to do?It comes down to
person attitude. With a bright personal appearance you will
change attitudes.Just like I said over on the wheelchair
Living page, you have to keep smiling. Don't worry people
will accept you with a regular smile.RET

UPdate;Oct.17,2000--- I went to the dentist office today
to have a check and a cleaning. The oral hygenist who
cleaned my teeth gave me a pamplet about the connection
between decaying teeth and heart disease.The stort of the
lesson is keep them clean it pays.Get to your dentist
no less than once a year if not twice.It pays.RET

Update Sept.5,2000 ---- I get the best seats at ball games.

Make sure you get a good physical exam .
Most insurance companies will
go for an annual exam. The Medicare will also.
It is my contention that
men not paying attention to their health is one
of the leading reasons that there wives out live them.
It's neglect.even if you have a little
you have to pay it's worth it. Many neigborhoods
will have the scannning van/truck makeing the rounds
to communities.I signed up for this even
though it will cost me about$140 It will give me
more information.While I feel great, or as great
as I can with SPMS I want the future to be clear
and not clouded.I don't like health surprises.

Throught my own experience of 20+years with MS and
many chats with other men
as well as women, who are the 2 to 1 majority in
this disease.Also I have had chats with several
doctors about some of the barriers of MS for men.
While I don't promise to tread lightly about
this disease, I will remember that not all of us
are at the same stage of progression.

What is life brought to us? The disease of MS
while as you know by now is not a deathy disease,
like cancer or heart attacks, since we are a small
disease less has been done to get us help.
With a total of probably 400,000 mSer in
the USA and a world population of about
1 and a half million it is still not a
major disease.But since polio isn't gaining
new victoms anymore, MS is the leading crippling
disease at present.
Many don't like that word crippling, although
it has been in the language for a
thousand years. We have today a tendency to try to
soft petal the sharpness of words. But the disease
is still the same.
In 100 MS people, 15% will have primary progressive
from the start.about another 15% will have benign mS
which will be quiet most of their lives.
That leaves 70% mainly in the other groups,
Remission/relapesMS and secondary progressive MS
But at recent symposiums doctors aren't sure
we should stick to these labels.
They are finding too many exceptions.
But what ever, all forms are progressive
as the Cleveland Clinic has found.

YOU AND ASSISTIVE DEVICES.
While you may hate the day you must, unlike
some women I have seen with MS they grab on to
their hubby and advoid the cane for a while.
We wouldn't do that would we?
A cane is better than falling down.
I found that out early in the game.I broke my
tibia bone , that is the big one below the knee.
With the start of MS which wasn't immediately
know at the time of breaking the bone it put
me on crutches for more than a year. After which
I need to be told by others I really needed a cane .
Soon I decided since everyone was saying so I would.
Many will be on a plateau of being about the
same for many years. with the so called ABC drugs
there is a good chance you will not have too many attacks.
But the number of attacks has nothing to do with
progression.
THE HARDEST THING WE FACE IS HAVING TO GO ON DISABILITY!!!!
Most of us have a strong urge to do something
productive. Work does that for us.With the inability
to work as some will make too many mistakes and some
will be forced to retire early . Any rate MS style
fatigue will retire more MS affected
persons than actual lack of motion of the body.
There is this grinding fatigue which will put
you in a don't give a damn attitude commonly called
lassitude.But as I said before the disability after
you get it from social security is depressing in
it's self. And it really isn't easy to get either.
You face the fact that you are no longer a productive
member of society.
And this by it's self is a bad thought.You must
now find a new meaning to your life.Don't just fill
in the time.Get into something that excites your soul,
challenges your mind and really gets you physically
as involved as your body will
allow.

KEEPING CONTACT WITH THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY.
This doesn't just mean going to a good neurologist
who actually knows MS almost as good as someone who
has the disease. Ther eare others who should be on
your medical team. You will need a physical therapist,
maybe an occupational therapist,someone to turn to
for person problems,and probably a urologist.
We all have bladder problems.

The really most important person is who you can
pour out your troubles to and they know what you
are going through. Usually this is another MS person.
Hopefully you also have a very good relationship
with your spouse.She too can be there to ease the
rough spots.
But in this disease not all spouses are ready for
this duty.It's very common for couples to break up
when MS has come between them.

Your main person after the mental support person
is your doctor. You probably will see him or her
twice a year unless you are really having troubles.
If your physician isn't supportive and takes the
time to explain thing to you then get one
that will.
The best of neurologists are not afraid to punt.
You may want to have the doctor send you to a MS clinic.
There they see things and help you to understand
what is happening and what will probably happen
in the future. But like all medical advice and
projections they sometimes miss the mark for accuracy
and miss on the probable direction of Ms.
But most of the time they come all too close to a good
prognosis.

GETTING NEW MEANING INTO YOUR LIFE AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS.
Itis a tall order to reinvent yourself. Those that
do will find the disease much easier to live with.
But don't make the mistake of lettingMS define your life.
It may be with you always but don't let it dominate
your whole existance.
You will still be free to go places , maybe not far,
but there are ball games to watch and not just on TV.
There is your family to pay attention , especiall

Eileen Lukeman and Richard Tanner

FL.

Eileen(Lobosgirl) and Richard (RET1000) both at aol.com

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Page Updated Wed May 7, 2008 9:45am EDT