Attitudes and goals Update April 15,2008 - Titles and consepts that don't hold anymore - Personal - http://maxpages.com/happymspage/Attitudes_and

UPDATE April 15,2008 Does your attitude show?Does your disability rule
your attitude?
Do you harbor any resentment about being disabled in a largely
ablebodied world? Really you shouldn't if you expect to enjoy the life you are now in and probably can't get out of because of maybe severe disability

Lets take it one question at a time.Does your attitude show?

Usually in the newly disabled this is the case.There is bitterness
that the individual hasn't yet overcome. I know all about it as I
was there back in 1989 And yet still a wheeler.
I have to be honest while I believe I no longer carry a chip on my
shoulder about being disabled ,and my disability is very obvious to all
to see,I occassionally get a littled pissed when someone wants to do
too much for me.
Example when I go into a restaurant,I don't expect them to bend over
backwards just because I'm disabled.They would seat me at the very first seat
if its empty .I really don't mind walking to the area where they are
currently seating all the rest of their guests.
I have made this clear a number of times.In restaurants were I go frequently
they know me now and treat me the same as the other guests.

Question 2: Does your disability rule you?
It will even when you think its not controling your mind.
But I believe we need to be careful to not over ride our common sense.
Example; If I always take the easy way out I'm letting the disability rule.
If I advoid doing something or going some place because its difficult for me
to walk.If I lived up north where the snow is on the ground I had special
ice picks attached to my crutches as I wanted to be an all weather doing
and GOer to events.Not doing so makes you a dull person eventually.

Question 3 ;Resent being disabled in a largely able bodied world?
Keep telling yourself that your world will never change.Then maybe your mind will rotate about where your planning will be refreshing and you will discover something you do as good if not better that that abled bodied person next to you.

You must get over resentment early in your disability.It will simply make you disapointed in life ,take away the joy of living which should be your
right even while being disabled.
You soon realize there are many things you can't do,but concentrate on what
you can do.
I still go to golf matches because I like to see them.In a golf outing where
there are prizes to the golfer,and others that attend I buy a ticket to
the meal only that they have at the end of the outing.
I have even won a prize or two in the door prizes.The food is usually good
and so is the fellowship at the tables.RET

Get out daily for some location where you will enjoy yourself or learn some
thing. One of my favorites is the river trail in our community.Here for 3 miles
along a very pretty and manicured river is a paved trail.I can take my scooter
with freshly charged batterys do the whole 6 miles and still get home
another mile. I care not when I go how long it will take.Its when I take time to
enjoy life and meet people doing the same.I can fish if I so desire or paint a
scean or eat a lunch or all three.It costs me nothing.But I get my mental
batteries charged every time.My troubles just receed every time I go there.
You probably have the similar situation in your home town.Use it!!

June 3,2005 update;Each time we loose a body function we will soon try to add a new thing we can do,after we give up what we can't do.
Richard
April 15,2008 I have discovered that the well adjusted wheeler will live longer .I believe it and so does a couple buddies who are also wheelers .We all have doctors that say the same thing.

UPDATE:April 29,2005 What we have and what we would like to have are
never the same.
In the first place good clean health is the finest thing any of us
could wish for.
I don't think anyone in this universe gets that.
promise as they may in ads on TV or in other media for perpetual youth
and keeping free of all health annoyances via the
meds they are halking on TV these days,most of this if not all will not
deliver what is promised over any extended time frame.
If you are taken in by their ads then too bad.

But what we do have a little control is our attitude and control in
the direction it will go. I have lived with and associated with people
in actually terrible conditions physically and mentally.
The happiest ones have a firm grip on the reality of their lives.
They are aware of their short comings in their physical body.
Some don't dare eat certain things as their body will use these materials
against them in artery blockages.Others will not ever walk in a dependable way
again,like myself.Others are no matter what is discovered in the medical
world always going to be keeping company with their wheelchair.

I could go on about cases of certain people and their disabilities
but you should get the picture.We have a woman about 4 blocks from our home ,
who has used crutches and braces to her groins since she was attacked by polio
when she was in her 20s,now in her 70s
she is chipper, pleasant and interesting.Its all attitude.
RET

UPDATE: April 29,2005 Why be happy? several people with MS two of them with the progressive forms have sent short curt e-mails to me asking
"What have we to be happy about?"
Then they described their conditions.
There is nobody who would disagree with them that MS has cut into their
life and left them in a condition where someone has to help them with
almost everything they attempt.
The point I always make is we have to find new happiness with what ever
we have left.
The last ball game I went to I talked to a man in the wheelchair section
who had been a coach.He was now in vary bad shape in his power wheelchair.
But he was operating it all by himself.He got to the game in his own vehicle.
He enjoyed the game.He also enjoyed getting to know people,who were also in the wheelchair section.
This is the spirit of living with what we have left. There are things you
would like
to do but they are outside your bounderies.have you tried to push your boundaries?
From what i have been able to observe the people who have nice Jazzys have a vehicle
which has allowed them to do more than they would have before.
I'm not coming out for any particular power chair .
There are many to choose from.
But I do see such as the nucleus to being more active for many of us.
I would be almost bored with out my scooter of 20+ years.

Feeling good about yourself inspite of your disability.The general public will
not let you think of yourself as a truely worthy person.
The advertizing people have fed the World a big fat lie about what life
is all about.
But did you ever see how happy and joyful several disabled people
can get whe they are to themselves?That is because they don't have to be
on guard for any thing.Nobody gapes at your wheelchair except to compair
it to theirs.
The woman I talk to frequently in our community uses crutches and
legbraces,so do I We have a lot in common The eyes of both of us are on
each other's faces not braces.We have a relaxed attitude to each other
We can get past just nice pleasentries of beinging conversations.

I always feel at home with people with disabilities as we don't come on judgemental
about each other.
I used to have a very good friend who had a Michigan cottage.We went up there several times ,just the two of us.We were at that time about equal in disability.While it was a topic of discussion,we both felt comfortable talking about it.We could even kid each other with out neither of us taking offense.

This is the point we must get to with able bodied people we have to get past the just they look at the braces and try not to let me know they are doing it.I have a couple such
able bodied friends like that where he is by this time tired of staring at me as a curosity.

Getting to Know You!
This friendship is a two way street both people have to work at it.You can do it if you don't emphise your disability.actually the able bodied only want a little information,Then no more If they want more they will let you know.

The sure way to kill a friendship is to try too hard. But both must really listen to the other.The able bodied have their problems and sometimes they actually think you have it easy.
That is right they might on days when they are reporting to work and they see you loafing.Don't gloat too much about your freedom to do with the day as you see fit.He will hold it against you.
Offer to meet for lunch maybe,or do him a favor while he is at work.No don't offer to mow the lawn unless you are on a riding tractor.He may want you to run an erand while he is at work,It will be simple but he knows you have the time and he would rather not take the time.
One example of such was once for a friend I went to the hardware and bought him a few things .all small nothing I couldn't handle.But the traffic and the time involved took me all morning.It saved him about two to three hours.He had me also pick up a few things to eat.

Eileen Lukeman and Richard Tanner

FL.

Eileen(Lobosgirl) and Richard (RET1000) both at aol.com

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Page Updated Wed May 7, 2008 9:45am EDT