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A little BrAiN cAnDy
Emily D Poetry
Quotes on Love
Quotes on Everything
MuSiC
My LYRICS
Typical
Sunset Gun
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| BrAiN cAnDy 4 U |
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| This is just a little poetry of mine. Enjoy it if you want, but please at least read it! |
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*RITUAL* i laughed and i didn't mean it. i cried and it didn't hurt. i'm angry but i can't hate you... i've known you way too long i smiled but i was numb to the feeling. i tried but would not succeed. i cringe and i go through the motions... lock the pain up tight inside. i looked but managed not to see. i fell while sitting on the ground. i ruined everything about it... that's just my way of doing things. (c)kate *ENVY* filtering through what was left is now, right now beyond empty spaces and what used to be can't blame that any more, and won't forgetting it all and understanding that's just why it was why it was that every thing came apart then so that what is could be now, right now extending out expanding - falling mystery abounding and no question why just accepting that it is - now, right now (c)kate *ALMOST* when i close my eyes the world forgets where i am and so he disregards my existance at least that's what i wished when my sky was purple yours was grey and you lost count of the directions and lost count of my missing pieces pull closed the blinds hold back the sun light the way with darkness just like always it's easier to not see the things that you wish weren't there how simple how convenient when you can't get up i'll be there to sit beside you but you won't see me because i'll close my eyes and being my world, you'll forget. (c)kate *Face It* I've finally decided that from this day on I'm not going to take it from you not from you or from anyone else in this small town such narrowminded pettiness on the outside looking in what a load of bull why would anyone want this for themselves or their children. I'm being cynical and bitter today just like a few days ago a few months ago when i was pushing it down like vomit that's what it is just a smelling mush of what life's suposed to be about. When I'm with him i feel like the rest of that is gone like it doesn't matter that life's something to be embraced not crammed into a thickly sheltered brain FORGET ABOUT IT! MOVE ON! is anyone going to care 10 years down the road. I want to run away and go to where he is i watched him sleeping and i felt like if i died right then and there that everything would be okay. maybe i'm crazy maybe everyone thinks i'm not right. But ya' know what? I DON'T REALLY CARE. at least not anymore. (c)kate *If you Couldn't Tell* i'm sick and tired of talking about it about how good it is and how great you are about all that mushy love shit no one explains to us yes it happens but the breaking of hearts is so much worse than twisting nails and broken glass it has another side that most pretend doesn't exist it's the dark part what appears when you lose every single thing you work for it's cheap so damn cheap so what if i'm not happy that's how life gets sometimes and it's not about clothes or music or money or any of that petty bullshit i could live without and here i go i'm a constant contradiction of everything i say and believe in and at one time or another it's all been questioned but i won't tell if you won't. (c) kate *Living Again, And NOT On The Moon* life's so damn confusing like you being so sweet how could anyone not fall what a smile what a smile what a look you gave maybe you tried and maybe you didn't but i caught it and i kept it for myself and now i'm living on those moments when you care and i get a tiny taste of what i was missing all that time was just a waste before now what i want from you is too much to say the sad part is is that i don't think that you're trying and i'm making it all up in my mind the sad part is is that i want you more than anyone you probably don't see because no one knows but me... if you found out i don't know what you'd do and it's so close i could almost reach up and feel your lips but we won't go there because it's all for me to know, and you to find out on your own. (c)Kate *Last Hint* it was lost in the gap of so much time between forever and never it sat for days and weeks lonely as a heart could bare to be baring all open and wounded but suddenly it came again in different form although i seem to be the only one who feels it's there in certain moments overestimated and overshot but still a beautiful place to want to be driven to that point where you can't let go or move on (yet times have come when you've had to let go) it seems, though, that the epitome was found and now it's too hard to pass up even though it's quite possible that the chance for it all could never come again but you don't know because i haven't said. (c) katie 10:54PM, not AM c r y i n g again when it left for a m o m e nt it was enough once and it will always & forever be just that way enough at least for a teardrop or two on flowers at midnight in the little snowflakes, the really little ones and memories come when they really aren't needed again and over again a tight throat follows with her signal of salty calvary down a burning stained face that doesn't match her hair and in pictures she's happy and she's laughing for real looking almost beautiful.... in a way, it's all like it should be in an unexpected clattered puzzle that some bad kid messed up while everyone else (herself included) was at recess on the playground in the snow as little snowflakes, the really little ones dance around the sun and the stars close their eyes somehow they might get burned, and they forgot their sunscreen. (c) Katie *DECEMBER - The coldest winter yet* AND in that same moment it was gone grantedhadtakentoomuchtime now...it was just plain canvas someday when true happiness returns somehow it would be okay again *with or *without (c) Kate *12:42* where did the wind go capturing time so we think we've misplaced it under old books and unwashed clothes and forgotten pictures of never again beneath weeks of dust and worries closing in on unsolid ground beyond the horizon somewhere with hidden pleasures and glipmses of severe happiness wrongs and regrets beside moments when we wish we could take it all back to say what we didn't get to say, or laugh when it meant the most to steal away all of the hurt and hide it way up on the top shelf where we ourselves could never reach it, or for that matter, use it on anyone else those times are so far behind us full of memories and life we never knew we lived yet, we know not just how much time stands beyond our breath even then we take for granted the sweet and innocent time of our youth and bend it to break then we forget the time....and today is just a yesterday gone. ©Kate *AFTERMATH* out of this world a heavenly state of being not only who i was but who i've become a different way but the same old smile...the same taste better than anything before that moment like the first left and right interchanging and such beautiful confusion remembering everything that was filling the cold sky it all comes rushing back like nothing that has ever consumed me a ball of energy quivering and shaking and spinning from it all you've gotta feel it gotta be there to know exactly like listening to those songs that make you cry every time just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. ©Kate *FOREVER* where did all of this time come from born so that it could come and go so quickly like tiny grains of sand slipping from a pale hand struggling in the water for some purpose to remain sunsets come and go so quickly leaving no traces of beauty as they fall darkness made worse with lonely hours piled high a sunburn on the eyes leaking tears that long for something trust laid out like a pathway barely traveled everything is missing...everything is different from the times spent gazing towards unknown stars breathless and strangled by the night so perfect and untouched by corruption of those minds thinking that all good things have endings... but still, there is no believer here where all good things can forever be etched in memories and when looking back, they speak to eternity. ©Kate *JUNE* like a rose needs the rain, i reach for you the sky's too far away breathless wind haunts with echos of memories sorrow stricken deep within a restless time i can't hold back the poison that surrounds and forces my eyes to close and remember everything that was, and will always be there sun-scorched red velvet...dying without you i never believed summer could be so cold or my mind so empty; my page void of words this feeling so unforgetable and so hard to erase from my skin but with the rose, i'll wait for the rain. ©Kate *Disorder* Totally fake outside & in wrongly accused right lies and empty affection in those hopeless eyes broken bones and chunks of soul-less flesh bottom-less dark ash holes unplaced blame chains and torn minds that can't see anything horrible starving emotionally and physically no life food to nurish the unfinished unthought untrusting words where fear is deeply rooted to nothing but marrow and skin. ©Kate *plain* driven crazy like nails on a chalkboard. chills heat hands eyes locking looking holding there in that moment world spinning left us floating dropping falling no turning back the walls will soon crumble up from hidden fire confessed to truth behind the lies they can't see what we know. ©Kate *don't be* I'm sorry I'm not beautiful. I'm sorry I'm not the girl i feel like. I'm sorry I cry too much. I'm sorry I'm so confusing. I'm sorry I can't even figure me out. I'm sorry my heart just won't quit making me like this. I'm sorry I can't be okay. I'm sorry so much is going on. I'm sorry I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I'm sorry she sits and smiles while she has never been here trying..losing and gaining. She smirks at me. I'm sorry I feel like a ghost. I'm sorry I can't quit breathing. ©Katie *Frustrated* you feed me the same sweet words for the millionth time in a row: I know how good they should taste but all that's there is bitterness. my eyes are swelling again tears i love to hate an old accomplice to a new-found pain. there goes my heart again squeezing the life out of my soul stinging with each pulsation making me angry with you- that you could do this to me. is it too hard for you to comprehend? is there some kind of connection that you just aren't making? i've tried to spell it out as clearly as can be but i still feel like you're trying to push me away like you don't want me to know any of the bad things- any of the secrets that's what i'm here for: to confide in. Yet you still think that one more moment by myself couldn't hurt. But it does. It hurts like hell. It hurts to know that you're there, when i'm just over here. It hurts when you've got to suck back tears because you've already cried too much today. It hurts because i guess this is what it is to miss you. It hurts because I'm frustrated with you. I'm trying, ya' know? I'm just a little lost, that's all. ©Kate *Explanation* An angels tiny wings left a sweet taste in the cold night air. God's tears frozen in forgiveness rained down and told us it was all right. Magic dust falling - glimmering on a natural high. Unexperienced, melting pot overheated. Left of the middle but still all there... lost in the moment but found in the same. ©Kate *Make Me* Make me tremble Within your arms Make me restless In my sleep Make me scream Beneath my skin Make me stumble When I need the language Make me courageous Even when I'm scared Make me truthful When I see your face Make me sin As the stars ascend the sky Make me beautiful In the way only you can Make me laugh When I need some strength Make me want You And only you. ©Kate *Inside* Face to face and in-between... under beneath below behind beyond.. somewhere... caught up left behind harmed hurt hated sworn to be true... trusted tamed worn-out old new small above it all... screaming screeching howling crying holding wishing it weren't.... forgotten remembered touched but not felt... believed knew saw tasted in the heart... needed falling bent left for dead... gone vanished disappeared lost goodbye... forever and a day isn't enough... time is too late. ©Katie *Reaching Distance* Gliding and spinning twisting and bending Pushing and pulling falling and reaching Dreaming and hoping searching and wanting Grasping and holding finding and losing Caring and hating loving and fearing that the world you know could someday turn upside-down and everything you hold dear will be gone. But if you're careful and always keep trying nothing you have or need will ever be too far out of reach. ©Katie *Frightened Heart* my throat is tight. my eyes are watering. my tongue is thick. my hands are shaking. my heart doesn't know. she thinks she's wrong. she thinks she's true. but when it really comes down to it, she doesn't know who she is where she's going or where she's been. i yearn for what i recieve. feeding off invisible pray... myself. i am my own victim. i turn my heart away from all that i've known and all that i want. she's tired and worn, although every now and then she skips a beat and makes me smile. how can it be that i've done this? how could i do this to someone i've always tried to be true to... me. i am my own protector. i could only save my heart from the things she doesn't need to be saved from. ©Katie *What's going on?* Blank. From the brain down. Fumbling numbly in a space filled with nothing. Tripping over my own thoughts. Stumbling over the words. I corner myself. Let out a deep, echoing scream. Let the burning tears follow a rippling stream down my trembling face. I convulse. confusion rips my throbbing heart in the most horrific ways. I need to go on. The memory won't let me be. Why? Why is there such a power over me? Was leaving a mistake? Were we supposed to stay? Time can only tell the future. Not what should have, or might have been. ©Katie *Within* Put your superficial face forward. you know, the one that's beneath that makeup. beneath the skin. beneath the truth. Look not at your faults but at the things you think are wrong with other people. Things that are different from your views. Things that you know you could never achieve. You're scared because maybe someone can do something better than you. Maybe someone is so unique and beautiful that you are too frightened to admit that's something you could never be. Deep down inside the very marrow of what makes you tick, you know that what you've been doing has been wrong from the beginning. Sometimes i think that i've become something i've always warned myself of. Because i've seen my world from the outside, i know how fake it actually looks. It's tough. it's hard to maintain. you think you know who you can trust, but realize it's all just a scam that's hidden behind the superficial faces. They smile but the true pain lies within. ©Katie more poems coming soon....!.. |
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