PIKACHU ASSAULTS MAN
A Pokémon known as The Pikachu struck again when it attacked a man in a shopping center on Tuesday. The man, one Andy Dick, an actor, was taken by surprise when Pikachu screamed its warcry and leaped onto his head, wedging it up its bottom.
At first, Mr. Dick panicked at finding his head surrounded by Pokémon anus, but calmed down when passersby rushed to his aid and eventually subdued his attacker by beating it with stones and baseball bats.
ak "It was surreal," he commented. "You don't know the true meaning of horror until you've seen a Pikachu's guts from the inside."
Spokeperson for the Non-Official Mutilation, Extermination and Killing Of Pokemon (NOMEKOP) organisation, Ash Tray, expressed concern at the increase in the incidence of Pikachu attacks in residential areas. "Although a Pikachu poking someone's head up its butt is a new development, Pikachu has always been the one to steer clear of" he said.
His colleagues, Miss Mistake and Mr. Crock also warned parents to keep their children away from Pikachu and its horrible electric attacks. These attacks alone were responsible for over 40% of Pokémon-related deaths in 1999.
ak Free Anti-Pokémon Protection Kits can be obtained from your local Anti-Pokémon Institue.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andy Dick up Pikachu's bum.
|