Cookery Page - Mashion Yasiff - A God in the kitchen... - Self Help - http://maxpages.com/gazandmacs/Mashion_Yasiffs_Cookery

We are proud to be associated with Mashion Yasiff. Mashion was raised by a Chinchilla and two hamsters, the result being a very limited diet, mainly consisting of sunflower seeds, and reconstituted carrot-shaped, er, things. When he was discovered, he showed a very intense interest in cookery, and amazed everyone around him with his skills, mainly Indian in origin, but often variations of English and Chinese dishes. Mashion has cooked for stars such as Madonna, The Monkees, The Rolling Stones (There were even rumours of a homosexual affair with a certain member, alledgedly), Bert and Ernie, Barry White and Jimmy Gulzar, wife er, husband of Scary Spice. The list does not end there, we could go on and on, but we haven't got the time or space, and we couldn't afford the legal bill. (With the exception of Mashion Yasiff, persons mentioned on this page have in no way given their consent for the use of their name, nor do they endorse or are in any way affiliated with this site, it's authors, or any associated company. For God's sake it was a joke, and we suggest anyone who takes offence at the content of any of these pages seeks a fucking personality and sense of humour transplant.)

Hey there Guys, rumours of my demise have been greatly exagerated, I have in fact finished fingering my ass nad have now moved into my second home, the kitchen (AND NO I HAVEN'T WASHED MY HANDS, IT ALL ADDS TO THE FLAVOUR).
After looking extensively in the freezer I have found that we have got absolutely fuck all to eat, and in situatiions like this I come into my element. Hence the following recipe. The only food of any nutritional value is a bag containing five sultry lamb chops, so we are asking, what can we concoct from this sorry pile of decaying sheep? Well, you'd be surprised. Obviously due to my slightly obscure upbringing, this recipe revolves around a heap of mouth and ass burning, eye-watering spices.

To begin with, defrost the lamb chops, because even a wild animal such as myself cannot digest raw meat and at the same time enjoy a healthy Billinge Lump in the morning.

Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 4

Place the lamb chops in an ovenproof Pyrex dish, and pour 3/4 pint of luke-warm water into a measuring jug. Huh huh, I said jug. Then, add cornflour until you achieve the consistency of full fat (breast) milk. You must then reach for the tub containing your healthy supply of spices (If you don't have one, then what are you doing on my fucking web page, you fucking peasants!) You will need Paprika, Garam Massala, and Cumin powder. Take 4 teaspoons of paprika and two of each of the other two, and a pinch or two of salt. Add them slowly to the mixture, stirring vigorously to ensure a consistent mix. Pour this over the lamb chops, and insert your head, sorry, I mean the lamb chops, into the oven. Check regularly, and remove when they are cooked to your own particular taste (In my case, that would be when they have stopped bleating and wriggling about).
Serve with whatever the fuck you like, and enjoy the mouthwatering experiencce. Mmmm, I'm so good, I sometimes wonder how people have the cheek to even attempt to speak to me, I am above that, I shoiuld be ruling the world, I AM A DADDY!!!!!!!

I'm now going to finger my ass. AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!! THE SPICES!!! I Really should have washed my hands first!

Mashion Yasiff 26th November 2000 @ 2100hrs

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Page Updated Fri Oct 21, 2005 5:44am EDT